back at it, huh

i kind of binged today. i've been awake since 5am and i've burned a lot of calories so even with the binge i should be well under my "maintenance calories". i tend to eat just a little more on the days i workout because i want to make sure i get enough protein for my muscles to recover from the exercise so at the end of the day i don't feel that bad about eating "a normal" amount of food today. at the same time i kind of regret it though cause even though i should still keep losing weight, i would've gotten a huge calorie deficit if i hadn't eaten as much as i did.

morning gym hits different cause i've burned over 1200 calories by 8am and 700 calories of that was burned during the exercise

i have a love-hate relationship with my mind cause like i keep imagining myself into different fictional worlds or ideal realities to motivate me do stuff but then i get sad cause i can't do the stuff they do in the fictional universe. like for example i motivate myself to do my aerospace engineering studies by imagining that i'm in the resistance in star war. and i motivate myself to restrict by thinking i'll be that mysterious skinny girl that lives on black coffee and tea and who's kind of the black sheep of the family but in a fancy way. can i not do that? it's making me crazy

i photoshopped photos of tom felton and me and now my heart is broken