Man at my job just told me to “hold your little horsies just a little longer ☺️” about the task I’ve been waiting for him to complete or at the very least update me on for six weeks. Brendan, I will fuck your adult son. You’re gonna start seeing me at family Christmas. Horsies in tow.

I love that thing when people get a little bit tongue-tied and garble what they’re trying to say so they make a little “blegh” 👅 noise and start over. verbal reset button. hitting the top of the tv to unscramble the signal

do you think in the 1910/1920s people were getting in trouble for joking like "we just hit the iceberg..." and "this is literally my titanic"

But that would probably require equal respect and emotional grace for disabled people that people give their caretakers so like lmao.

MY biggest fear as an artist: thunderstorms. thunder loud and scary

my biggest fear is that i will become too popular and cool 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

is that song actually character-coded or is your brain a character-shaped hammer looking for lyrics to nail down somewhere