marta ✿

To be fair, Sirius wasn’t behaving like he usually did. He could be very social and outspoken when he wanted to; he could flirt and have a good time with everyone if he was interested. It was obvious that night wasn’t the case, and it wasn’t entirely Remus's fault; he seemed kind, and he wasn’t ugly, not at all, but since the start the date had been a disaster.

Normally, when he liked someone, he would observe them and decide how to approach them, how to talk to them, but blind dates didn’t work like that. It was improvised, it was unprepared, it was a bunch of expectations mixed with doubts. Maybe there were people who excelled at blind dates, but neither he nor Sirius was one of them. He stopped trying to make small talk at the third failed attempt.

At least the food was good, and free.

“Sorry again for being late,” Remus said when they were finally outside.

“No hard feelings.”

They looked at each other, unsure about how to say goodbye, but there was no need to prolong the moment. With a vague gesture of their hands, each of them took their way home.

He thought it was a coincidence when almost three weeks later he came across Remus in the port. He was walking Padfoot, his dog, and stopped by a shop to buy some crossword puzzles for Fleamont. There, browsing the bookshelf, was he, with his light brown hair and face of concentration; his cheeks had their natural colour, not the dark red they had the other night.

Sirius hesitated about whether to greet him; their date had been a disaster, but he had been left wondering what it would be like to know Remus without all the distress.

“Remus?” he said, approaching him.

Remus startled, as if he had been so deep in his own mind he hadn’t noticed that there were more people at the ship. When he looked at Sirius, his eyes bulged, and the book in his hands almost fell to the ground.

“Sirius.” He blinked a couple of times, then it seemed he talked himself out of the surprise. “Hi, Sirius.”

That time, his voice sounded lighter, warm. It was such a stupid feeling, but Sirius felt it was the first time he saw the real Remus.

“You searching for a book?”

“Just looking,” he answered, shrugging and looking at the bookshelf again, but he was smiling. “I promised myself I won’t buy another book before reading one of the four I bought the last time.”

“It’s going well?”

Remus turned to look at him, and Sirius could swear he was pouting.

“I want to die.”

Sirius laughed, getting closer to him. The other day he smelled of one of those perfumes that filled a room, but then he smelled sweeter, maybe vanilla.

“Well, I’m searching for a crossword for James’s father. And I’m dared to find one that he can’t solve.”

“Oh, maybe I can help you with that!” said Remus, and he sounded so excited that it amazed Sirius. That was the same man who had just nodded for five minutes straight a few nights before without lifting the gaze from his food.

“Are you an expert at crosswords?”

“Yes. At that... and taking the wrong buses.”

His words were followed by a grimace, but the joke landed well, and Sirius laughed again.

“Thank god, I need the first one now.”

Five minutes later, they left the shop. Sirius with three crossword puzzle books and Remus empty-handed, which hadn’t been easy, because Sirius had seen him biting his lips so hard, staring at one of the books before deciding against buying it. Maybe Sirius had felt the stupid urge to buy it himself.

When they were on the street, Padfoot greeted them excitedly, and Remus went straight to pet him before asking if it was Sirius’s. “Yes”, Sirius said. “And he’s a good judge of character,” that, he only thought.

Maybe he was crazy, or more desperate than he wanted to admit. But something told him that if he had found Remus there, maybe it was because they deserved a second chance. This time, with both of them completely sure of what they were doing.

“Ey, it’s almost noon,” he said casually when Remus straightened up, and he untied the lash. “There’s a place around here, good food and good prices. And they let me take the dog inside.”

He looked at Remus, who was looking at him with the same surprised face as he had had when he had seen him inside the shop. His eyes roamed around Sirius's face for a second before turning softer, and a little smirk could be seen on his face.

“That sounds amazing,” he ended up saying. “Because of the dog.”

Sirius couldn’t contain his smile.

“Because of the dog, of course.”

Some hours later, ice cream in hand and giggles on the lips, Remus, who ended up being not only kind, but also fun and witty, with his slightly red cheeks and bright eyes, cleared his throat.

“It’s funny, because I could say exactly the same.”

“You know, some days ago I had a date, and it went so terribly. One of my worst first dates,” he said, more focused on his chocolate cone than on Sirius. “It’s funny, because today I think I had my best first date.”

Sirius felt himself get excited, his heart jump, his mouth curve upwards.

“When you argue about a film, you don’t argue about other things.”

“We argue about a lot of things, but it’s funnier when it’s about films.”

“Again, not helping with the rumours.”

Sirius gently kicked Remus on his ankle.

“Not my fault you’re a brat.”

“Not my fault you think stealing an ancient painting from a poor guy is not so bad,” Remus retorted.

“That’s an awful downplay of our film, darling.”

Next time, Remus talked looking at one of the cameras: “There’s a scene when I punch him; it was a real punch.”

“Now, you’re the one not helping with the rumours.”

The interviewer interrupted them, but she was also smiling.

“Rumours started when you announced this film; what it’s a bit contradictory, isn’t it?”

“Well, you were the first to ask how we played enemies being together!”

“Touché, touché,” she laughed. “I’ve also seen a lot of discourse about whether you can feel the hatred because you’re too good actors or because you don’t like each other anymore.”

“And our love doesn’t trespass the screen anymore. Yeah, it’s totally true. I hid one of his briefcases after the punch.”

The public laughed at the same time the interviewer took his hand to his ear.

“Okay, your manager is telling me that for legal reasons I had to add that Remus punched you for real because you forgot to move your head.”

“Maybe that’s true. Sorry, Amelia!” Sirius exclaimed. “I hid his briefcase anyway. It distracted him from feeling bad.”

“He still has the scar on his lip!”

“It was a good punch,” Sirius snorted. “And he’s not good at throwing punches, believe me; I’ve known him since we were eleven.”

“I don’t know how to fight when I mean it, not physically, at least. But I know how an acted punch works!”

“It seems there’s not so much difference. Are you an expert on throwing punches, Sirius?”

“I was a rebel when I was a teenager… Nah, but… sometimes you see a punch, and you know if it’s good or not. That one was precise. It was kinda hot, if I’m being honest. Ey, that helps with the rumours, right?”

Remus cheeks got a lovely shade of pink, but he didn’t contradict him.

“So… you had fun playing enemies, and there’s no divorce.”

“You got it so fast! People should learn from you.”

Sirius got closer to his husband on the couch, passing an arm over his shoulders.

“And, come on, where’s my camera, there?” He took Remus chin between his fingers. “Look at how cute he is. I’m not letting him go anywhere.”

“He takes me to bed when I fall asleep on the couch; it’s all I have to say,” Remus added, his hand on Sirius’s thigh.

“Except when we argued about the end of the film. That day was bad.”

At that, Remus frowned and crossed his arms, looking affronted.

“You told Frank to change the script because you couldn’t fight me anymore when I told you why Adrien was the bad guy and not Marius!”

“I told him to add a phrase! And he liked it.”

“You know what, I’m not going to help with the rumours.” Remus cleared his throat and looked to the camera again. “Guys, when we rehearsed half of the fights at home, we didn’t talk for the rest of the day.”

“We did far more interesting things,” Sirius said, winking at the public. A chorus of laughter filled the room.

“That was in case you didn’t get all the innuendos at the start,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“But you’re not denying it, are you?” the interviewer questioned.

“I was the one saying it helped with the marriage, wasn’t I?” he answered, smirking.

“Anyways, we should actually talk about the film.”

“Whenever you want, darling!” Sirius agreed.

“First, we are going to see the trailer. Watch closely!”

After the video ended and the public ended their applause, the interviewer commented: “I have to say, it’s true that you feel the tension. People realised you two were together after seeing you starring in ‘The nights in the Red Ball’, even if you weren’t playing a couple, but with this one, I don’t know if someone could catch it.”

“We are good at our job,” Sirius answered, this time without joking.

“Trusting in each other so much also helps,” continued Remus. “We know our limits; we know our facial expressions and mannerisms. That’s why we love acting together.”

“That means you would choose to play enemies some other time?”

“If we like the script, and the production likes us, for sure!”

“That’s wonderful,” the interviewer nodded. “Talking about production, how was it working with Vance? She’s new in the industry; her company is not so big, but she had a good eye with this one.”

“She’s a fantastic woman. She knows what he wants, and she gets it. She was on set a lot, and that was amazing. Also, she and Frank, the director, made a wonderful team.”

“Yeah, the whole team was fantastic, really,” Sirius added. “All the hate you can see in our characters, it’s also their doing. Acting is not everything in a film; they helped us a lot.”

“There’s a scene, I’m not telling you which one, but it was one of the first we filmed, and the first take we shot was… so intense, they changed the illumination and the sound, and they told us: ‘Look, this is what you don’t have to do. This is not a homoerotic film; you hate each other's guts.’ Then they edited some other takes; the result was very similar, still, with the changes he added, it was totally different, and it made us know how to focus some of the scenes.”

The interview lasted some more time, but fortunately, they got home soon enough to have a good takeout dinner on the couch.

“You know,” Sirius said, after swallowing a bite, “if we do another film like this one, I’m asking for it to be a homoerotic one.”

Remus snorted. “We live in a homoerotic film.”

Sirius took the glass Remus had in his hand and left it on the coffee table. He brought his husband closer to him, making him rest his head on his shoulder so he could play with his hair.

“So… Adrien and Marius should have kissed in the end, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, you’re absolutely right. We should act out a scene like that tomorrow.”

They shared a kiss, two smiles colliding first and then lips finding each other as their bodies relaxed just by being pressed together. Music kept playing, and they had to stop themselves if they wanted to eat warm food.

Until then, the moments they had felt more at home had been those, eating together at night and talking about their days. Then they would cuddle on the couch, the sounds of the street entering through the windows of their second floor, delaying the moment of going to sleep, because even if they had each other and that made them sleep as well as they did only when they were together, the bed would feel a bit cold and the pillows too soft.

But that night was different. After finishing the chicken—that Sirius assured was fantastic and Effie would be proud—they went to the kitchen and prepared everything to make the biscuits.

"Well, grab the flour!" Sirius exclaimed, looking at Remus with a big smile.

Unlike cooking, Remus was kind of good at baking, but he was usually alone, not with Sirius around him looking, kissing his neck, or standing right behind him, watching him knead the dough. Although…

"You have stronger arms," he said, smirking and stepping aside, “you knead.”

Sirius feigned a gasp. He looked at the dough and then at his partner again.

"You just like how my arms look when I knead."

Remus shrugged. “Who could blame me?”

“You go ahead and make some chocolate syrup.”

“Oh, you don’t have to say it twice.”

They sang as they cooked, and they laughed like two lovesick men. Some of the chips ended in their bellies instead of on top of the biscuits, and their hands found each other in the bowl where they were waiting, perfect moments for sharing a quick kiss, or a wink, or a fleeting smile.

Finally, the chocolate was on the fire, the biscuits taking shape in the oven, and a lot of kitchenware rested on the counter waiting to be cleaned.

“This is delicious,” Remus groaned as he licked some melted chocolate from the whisk.

Sirius licked his own lips, watching him and got closer, hugging him by his side and kissing his temple, then his jaw. He grabbed his wrist and used one of his fingers to catch a drop of syrup that was falling from one of the rods before taking it into his mouth; Remus blushed and cleared his throat.

“They would be ready in twenty minutes…”

“That’s an awful lot of time,” Sirius muttered. He made Remus leave the whisk on the sink and pressed his hands on the flour-covered counter under his partner’s confused, or maybe cautious, gaze. He got closer to him again, leaving just a few inches between their bodies, and in a blink of an eye he had Remus’s ass under his palms. “And, oops, now you have to change your trousers.”

“You’re unreformable.”

They ended up making out on the couch, which was softer under their bodies when they were tangled together, but the oven timer went off before any piece of clothing could disappear.

“My hands look great there,” Sirius commented as he saw Remus going back to the kitchen, his handprints white on the back of the trousers. Remus just chuckled and shook his head.

The cookies were delicious, as expected, and cleaning everything wasn’t that hard when they did it together with Kiki Dee playing in the background, making them dance in the middle of the kitchen.

"I love you,” Remus said while they were swinging from side to side once again. “And I love this apartment and living with you, you know that, right?"

“I know. And I love it, too,” Sirius answered, his head resting on Remus’s shoulder. “And I love you more than anything. Almost as much as you love chocolate chips.”

Remus snorted, and his hand disappeared for a second. The next thing Sirius saw was a brown finger coming his way and staining his face.

“And you’re my favourite,” he said before kissing the chocolate off of his face.

Later that night, after dinner and when Sirius was almost sure Remus’s plan was to eat chocolate bars on his bed, his boyfriend—it sounded so good—told him to follow him. They took a secret passage that led them to the Astronomy tower, and when the door opened, Sirius saw a tent made of sheets.

“Come in,” Remus said, taking some steps further and opening the tent.

Sirius followed him. It wasn’t enlarged. The floor was covered with a light yellow blanket, and there was a little paper bag on it. In the middle of the tent, a glowing candle was all the light they had. Inside it was warm, and it smelt like cherry, the same smell of that corner in Hogsmeade that seemed like something out of a fairy tale in spring and where they had spent hours and hours talking a few months before, shortly before the afternoon of the kiss.

“You’re so cute,” he chuckled when they were sitting. It was a small space, so their knees touched, and there was no room to hide. Although Remus tried to hide his blush by lowering his head. Sirius was having none of it; he stretched out his arm to grab his chin and make him look at him. “I love it.”

The bag had a mix of sweets from Honeydukes, and they spent the night chatting and eating, but there was something different about this time compared to the usual talks they had in their dorm, or the library, or just roaming around the castle. It was just the two of them, in the middle of the night, falling silent suddenly, just to stare at each other with heart eyes (not that he would admit that to James and Peter).

“Have you ever heard of shadow puppetry?” Remus asked, looking at the flame of the candle that was as alive as at the start.

“Don’t think so.”

“Okay, I’m not very good at it, but…”

Sirius didn’t know what shadow puppetry was and how it was properly made, but as everything Remus did, it was mesmerising. He started creating figures with his hands, and his long fingers seemed to know where to be at every moment to make it seem like magic without spells. A rabbit, a dove, a squirrel. He played with his hands, and Sirius laughed and made stupid voices for the animals. He asked him to teach him how to do the dog, and Remus made the wolf, and they played as if they were Padfoot and Moony, in that way that even when it happened, Remus couldn’t truly remember it.

They ended up lying on the ground, face to face, using the geminio spell to conjure another blanket to throw over their bodies. They were still giggling like the teenagers they were. They had lowered the intensity of the light, making the moment more intimate, and it was notorious how their hands, resting between their bodies, got closer and closer each passing second.

“I love the smell,” Sirius commented, inhaling the air that felt, at closing his eyes, as if he were in a cherry bath.

“I know,” Remus replied, almost whispering. “You always made that face when it smells like this, so relaxed and… I don’t know, happy.”

Sirius blinked. He had never thought about that. It really was a smell that made him feel good, but he didn’t make faces. Or perhaps Remus looked at him with more care than the care Sirius put on thinking about himself. He inhaled again.

“It reminds me of you.”

Remus chuckled.

“Cherries?”

With a straight face, Sirius nodded.

“Yeah. Not only for that day, but also because they’re sweet, and comforting, and so red, like your cheeks when I kiss you in front of someone.”

As if summoned, Remus’s face blushed instantaneously.

“Or like right now, as it seems.”

“Oh, shut up.”

And Sirius did, but because he had something better to do, like leaning in and capturing those pretty lips with his, in a peck that soon turned into a proper kiss.

It was a first date, lying on a thick blanket, with just a candle illuminating them and a cherry smell filling the space. It was Christmas. It was warm. It was perfect.

On the way to the apothecary and back home, they probably hadn't realised what they were about to do. To be fair, it was not the first time the four of them had some kind of… encounter, but it usually was after a party night, with some alcohol in their bodies, not in the middle of the afternoon, on a Sunday. But along with the potion, they bought some magic candles to… set the mood, as it was said on the box.

“So… I think you have to show us your toys now,” Sirius shrugged, a playful smile on his lips as he was leaning into the door of James and Lily’s bedroom.

The smell of the candles was sweet and alluring, and they could feel how the room grew warmer, the air got thicker, their skin prickled.

“You are not going to see anything you haven’t seen yet, Black.”

Suddenly, the toys were sprawled across the bed. There was a big range of them, but they sorted them until choosing only four of them, one for each.

Next, they put the potion in shot glasses. It had a purple-ish colour, dark and shiny at the same time, and smelled like mint and something unidentifiable. They looked at each other, lips bitten and pupils darkening.

“Let’s see if it’s a scam, then.”

"Research purposes only."

The potion didn’t cloud their minds, but the moment Lily kissed his husband and Sirius grabbed Remus hand, they knew it had worked. There was a fire on their skin that wasn’t there before; it was as if their sense of touch had been magnified and every surface their fingers graced became part of them. It didn’t burn, it didn’t tickle, it was completely different.

They started undressing each other, coming closer so the four of them could feel the other three. Just feel them, but that day, feel was more intense than any other thing in the world. By the time they were naked and lying in the enlarged bed, long gone were the thoughts about potions or spells.

But if the make out and rubbing was on a different level, when they started playing with the toys, it was when something felt out of the real world. They slid inside their bodies like they were part of them; the weight on the mouth was as real as human flesh; it almost seemed like they were acting on their own, even if there were hands moving them and legs pushing.

They were sweating, moaning, salivating. They were lost in the moment; the smells, tastes and sounds. Four bodies intertwined, James grabbing Sirius hair, Remus biting the juncture of Lily’s neck and shoulder, while their hands played a game of brushing. With a long toy in Sirius hands that brought Lily’s fingers to grip James’ back, making the ring he was using to get Remus to melt increase its pressure, and Remus could just sink deeper into his boyfriend’s pelvis.

The night arrived without warning, when the four friends were trying to recover their breaths and their bodies were starting to feel normal again. They fell asleep like that, hugging and feeling gross but elated, after cleaning as much as they could with some quick spells.

The next morning, they felt as if they were having the worst hangover in a long time.

“I knew that potion must have some kind of con,” Remus grumbled when he and Sirius were leaving the house to go to their respective jobs.

“You weren’t so grumpy when that potion made you come like eight times.”

Remus rolled his eyes, even though his cheeks turned pink, and kept walking with his fingers intertwined with Sirius’s.

Inside the house, finishing getting ready for work, James heard his wife chuckling.

“I absolutely win that argument.”

Sundays were for relaxing… and sometimes, they were very weird (and fun) days.

“Marcus Bang is going to live up to his surname this night if you don’t go there and tell Sirius that you want to… bang him first. And then, you want him banging you. And you don’t want a Bang in the middle of it.”

Remus covered his face with his hands and shook his head.

“Sirius has said yes to the date,” he said through gritted teeth.

He felt a hand gently grab his wrist, and the next thing he saw were Lily’s green eyes fixed on his.

“Sirius was bored. And he’s stubborn and likes to go against the tide, and you told him that he couldn’t go out with Marcus because it was not appropriate to go out with a client.”

The sound Remus let out was not one to be proud of.

“I panicked.”

Lily hadn’t finished, though.

“You also told him to take care in case Marcus was a gold-digger.”

“I really panicked.”

“You know he knows you are in love with him, right?” her friend said, startling him. He was not used to hearing that out loud. “He’s there with Marcus because instead of saying that, you said Marcus wears too tight pants!”

“Sirius was the one wearing too-tight pants. I collapsed.”

“Remus, come on. He’s having a good time because he’s Sirius, but he literally texted me ten minutes ago saying that he couldn’t see you pouting so much because he was going to kill himself.”

Remus felt his eyes bulge, and he looked at Lily with his mouth half open. Sirius didn’t have to see him pouting!

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I thought: ‘Nah, Remus is going to realise by himself he needs to go stop that date. Just give him one minute' and that minute was another one and another one, and… I’m just exhausted, and I don’t want more Coke. So, please, go. We don’t need a Marcus Bang in the group.”

“Stupid name,” he muttered, but he, finally, got up.

When he reached the table, he saw Sirius's shoulders straightening, but his face remained the same. Marcus, who was in the middle of eating a piece of cheese, smiled.

“Oh, you were… Robert, right? From the garage.”

“Yes. Good memory,” Remus replied, without looking at Marcus. “Sirius…”

…

His mind went blind.

Sirius raised an eyebrow and propped his hand in his fist; he had his elbow on the table.

“Yes, Robert?”

Come on, he could do it. He could tell Sirius he must leave Marcus and go with him, because… Because...

“White Lady's taste awful.”

“You taste awful!”

“God, Marcus, that was even more stupid than your name.”

“Remus!” Sirius exclaimed, but he hadn’t been able to control his laughter.

“Who is Remus?”

He had to start over.

“Sirius, does he make you laugh?”

At those words, Sirius seemed to become more sober. He licked his lips and looked at Remus’s eyes.

“Maybe. Why?”

“He’s… He is fit.”

“Well, thank you, Robert.”

Remus looked at him. He was feeling something deep in his chest, something he hadn’t let himself feel since he heard Marcus ask Sirius on a date the day before at Sirius's work. Something that was like having a stone in his stomach.

“Are you smart, Marcus?”

“I study Biology.”

“Fair enough.”

“Are you asking him for his wealth now?” Sirius intervened. “Still worried about that?”

Remus ignored him, looking at the table, where two glasses rested.

“White Ladys are not even that awful.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

Then, he went back to look at Sirius, and he knew he was pouting again, even if it were only for the light concern in Sirius's eyes.

“Do you want to be here?” he asked. “Because that’s the only thing I care about, Sirius.”

But Sirius was stubborn, as Lily had said. He also deserved better.

“Why?”

Remus felt his heartbeat; it was too fast, and he was starting to sweat. He knew he had to do it. Lily knew it. Sirius knew it.

“I need to say it right in front of Marcus Bang?”

“Less explanation to give him if I left,” Sirius shrugged, but he was smiling, a smile of encouragement.

“Are you leaving?”

“I don’t want him doing the bang thing with you.”

He had to start somehow, right?

“Did you really just say that?”

Yes. Because he never talked about what he felt, because it didn’t matter, because he just wanted the people he loved to be happy, because that’s how it worked. And asking for something, revealing that he wanted something, and it was something as amazing as Sirius...

“I’m scared!” he finally admitted, heart in his throat.

Sirius, then, seemed almost insulted. He got up from the chair and got in front of Remus, where he could look him straight in the eye.

“It’s me!” he shouted, then he sighed, and his next words were more of a whisper. “It’s me, Remus. You are not scared around me. You never are.”

Maybe it was the way Sirius was looking at him, or how his hands had grabbed his, or that what he had said was the plain truth. Whatever it was, it worked, because Remus didn’t have to search for his words anymore.

“I need to know if you want to be here, because if you want, I would just,” he said. “But if you don’t, I would be glad if you came with me instead. To drink wine and eat chocolate bars while we see a film, or to eat fish and chips and then go back to my place, where you would invite yourself inside. And in both scenarios, I would wait until you decided to kiss me, because I’m too cowardly to do it myself.”

It seemed as if everything had felt silent, as if they were alone and not in the middle of a crowded pub. Not Marcus, not Lily. Just Remus and Sirius.

And then… then Sirius did it, and kissed Remus. There, in the middle of his date with another man.

But Remus didn’t care, not at all, because he could, finally, kiss him back.

There was applause, and wolf-whistles, and Marcus Bang leaving without paying (fair enough). But they didn’t notice until a lot of minutes later. They had more important things to focus on, like the feeling of their lips touching, of their mouths getting to know each other, of their hands clenching shirts.

And, to be honest, no one remembered Marcus Bang the rest of the night