V_009

There was water in the cup on the nightstand. To be evaporated. She was pretending to sleep. The sun was weakly touching her pillow. Summer had never been hotter. There was no problem in the world, all quiet. The Tower was focused on the Games, and Venine couldn’t even stretch out her arm to turn on the television. The problem wasn’t with the world. The problem was in her, and she could feel her blood boiling at this point. Was it the sun just torturing her? Has it caught up with the fact that she was the only unnatural thing in the world that breathed?

Needing to step away, she moved from the pillow, leaving behind a pile of lost hair strands. She didn’t care to pick them up right then. Not right at that moment. Instead, she moved away from the sun into the armchair. It was almost like she couldn’t stand. Her body was rotting around her as she was just now starting, with a soul so young it didn’t even fully well know how to speak.

The water was too far, on the nightstand. Even though she hadn’t left her room ever since the Hunger Games launched, at this point, she knew it was time to. If she died there, no one would find her until days after. Glancing at Pumpkin, coiled on the floor as if to keep her company, she figured she shouldn’t do that to the raccoon. What if, having no alternative food resources, it would eat from her? The thought sent a shiver down her spine. Venine wasn’t going to die in the storage closet she had lived her life in.

(If she died, what would even become of her soul? If there were a divinity, would it be willing to adopt? She was made by man, and man had no power on the other side. Would she be all alone, in an eternal void? The recurrent thought gave her power to keep going. She couldn’t afford to die and dive into such lonely uncertainty.)

She stood up, shaky, and opened the door. She had to warn everybody. She had to ask for help. She couldn’t just wait for death to find her lying down, weak and defenseless. A reassuring wave of air brushed through what remained of her hair when she opened the door. For a moment, she didn’t feel like a corpse. Instead, she breathed in and cracked the door open widely for Pumpkin to leave and accompany her. The animal obliged, excited to breathe in some fresh air. It went ahead as Venine breathed in, too, one more time. Maybe fresh air was all the cure she needed. Maybe the forests of District Seven were the answer to everything, after all. But she had to request all that now, before withering for good in this shadow of a Tower.

Following Pumpkin’s lead, every step ached. Her newly found energy evaporated. She used her hand against the wall to keep going, but her knees felt like gum. The thought threw her back to the smell of strawberry the first time she chewed gum with her own teeth, instead of in Andromache’s memories. It was all so easy when she was learning everything for the first time. 

Even though Gamemaker Vickers had better and more urgent concerns, Venine had to get to her. That woman was the only one who could make it pass. No more needles, just a signature of release. If Venine could move fast enough, she would be in the night train by midnight, departing to Seven. It was a solid plan. She could almost smell the pines. That simulation alone gave her all the strength she needed. There wasn’t much left to do: only to get to her. 

Miraculously, she got to the immaculate white elevator. Looking back, Pumpkin was nowhere to be found. She panicked for a moment, but then, a stable, powerful peace spread like a blanket over her heart. Pumpkin was going to be fine. Suddenly, the certainty that everything was going to be fine overwhelmed her warmly. Pumpkin knew the Tower well. They would find each other soon, after Venine had her conversation with the Gamemakers. They would travel together to District Seven. Maybe she could take Addy with her, somehow. Maybe they would be able to fool everybody and make a grand escape. Venine wanted to believe in nothing but that.

The elevator doors opened, like asking for an embrace. Venine walked in fearlessly, quick to press the familiar button. Looking in the mirror behind her, she smiled at the sight of Andy. She missed her, like a sister that was also more herself than she was. Tears rolled, small, warm balls of water, over her cheeks. She truly missed Andromache. And she was about to visit her, in District Seven. That alone gave her inexplicable power to move further. A slight smell of whiskey, like the other’s breath, flooded her nostrils. She was almost home by now, whatever foreign place that was.

Going down seemed to be taking forever, and her knees were so weak. Before she knew it, she slid down, curling her body on the elevator floor, hugging her feet and leaning her head against the cold surface of the moving box. It felt better. She was just getting there. Soon, nothing would hurt. It would all be nothing but tall trees, ice-cold lakes she would dive in anyway, virgin sunrises, that she would be the only person in the world awake to witness. Soon, she would no longer crave for fresh air for days at once. Before she knew it, her eyes were closed. Oh, she was so tired. 

“I understand,” she said, though the comment about her hair was concerning. “I do. Perhaps you can just tell me how you’ve been feeling odd? Just tired? Have you been sleeping well?” She didn’t want Venine to be falling apart. She felt somehow responsible, though she hadn’t been the one to create her.

“I’ve been tired before,” Venine frowned lightly, as if Colette had scratched the surfaces of what offended her. Still managing to stay polite and almost obedient, she wanted to remind the other woman that she has lived too. There was a logical distinction between not having slept well and feeling fundamentally weak. All the words forming in her mind got lost in translation. It was too difficult to counter anyone. The arguments all felt heavy in her mouth. “Maybe that’s it. I’ll try to rest more.”

“Vitamins might help,” she said, “but I really can’t say unless we do some tests.” Venine should be a fully functional, normal human being. There should only be the normal issues — regular health concerns. And yet, she was worried there might be more than that going on.

Despite dutifully nodding at Colette’s opinion -- because she genuinely trusted her and the Gamemaker team more than most people -- Venine couldn’t help but ask, “Can we do them next week?”, in an attempt to postpone the moment. “I just don’t see how giving away blood would make things better for me right now. It’s almost like everything is falling off me at this point.” Trying to soften the tragic of the situation, the blonde gave away a shiny grin, half powered. “You don’t want to see my hair right now, trust me.”

Tana looked around quickly when Venine spoke of an Avox as a “friend.” She rushed over to a napkin dispenser and pulled out handfuls to drop over the spilled drink. There wasn’t much she could do that wouldn’t make the mess worse. “I’m sure a good mop and bucket will clean it up quickly and easily,” she said as she stood back up, letting out a deep breath. It was a sudden, chilling experience to hear a built woman say she might be broken. “The second time?” she asked softly. “Are you not feeling well? That’s not being broken, that’s just being a little off or a little ill, like anyone else.”

It didn’t take Venine much to start talking. She’s been missing it. The last six months have been so lonely and so quiet that the slightest human touch encouraged her to overshare. “I’m not feeling well at all. I don’t know what to do, because I don’t have what doctors to go to. The Gamemakers are looking at me as the experiment I am. It’s just... very tiring. I think I need a pause to regain strength. I’ll go get a mop. Where do they keep it?”

“I understand,” Colette said with a nod, reaching out a hand to help her up. “I’m sorry that you’re been feeling weak, perhaps we should run a few tests and see what’s going on?” While she had not been the one to create Venine, wasn’t anywhere near that good, really, she did feel some responsibility for the woman.

“I mean... sure, if you think it’s good,” Venine frowned lightly, though it was the opposite of what she felt she needed -- a break. After all, the woman in front of her knew better, and she did trust her with it. “Do you think I should take some vitamins or something?”

The sound of anything crashing always drew attention, and Tana quickly looked up from the notes she was going over. The splashing sound brought out a frown, and it took a moment to see it was Venine under the hat, not some drunk sponsor. “Are you feeling alright?” Tana asked, instantly concerned as she moved forward with little more than a single, thin napkin to try to help clean up the mess. “Dropping your drink isn’t the end of the world. You can get another one. Did you get it in the Tower?”

“Yes,” she voiced quietly, as if scolded. In all truth, she wasn’t feeling all that great, but she didn’t want to draw attention or make someone believe she was eventually going to explode. She wasn’t. It was a bit of nausea, a bit of weakness and a bit of chronic exhaustion. “Oh, I don’t care about the drink. I’m a little sad that I don’t want my friend to clean it up. She’s an avox and is already working pretty tirelessly. And it’s the second time it happens, which sort of sucks. I might be broken.” A cold laughter hit at the end, though Venine was trying to keep her mood as upbeat as she could given the circumstances. 

She had been interested in Venine from the start; she was more than a scientific experiment, she had wound up being a person in a way that Colette found intriguing — and a bit troubling. To have created life from nothing in this way was certainly a massive leap in technology, one that she knew could have broader implications. Every time Colette spotted Venine around the Tower, she went out of her way to check on the woman. “Oh, don’t worry,” she said, coming over to her, grabbing a handful of paper towels on the way, bending to sop up some of the milkshake, though it’d need more than just a few paper towels. “It’s just a little mess!”

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll do that,” Venine huffed, trying to stay collected. She knelt and spread the milkshake with the napkin, trying to gather it. Still in a squat position, she leaned towards the trash bin and tossed the used napkin in it. “It’s very embarrassing, but I’ve been feeling a little weak lately. I think we should postpone the blood tests for now. It’s a bit too intense for me.”

TASK 010. LOVE LANGUAGES

“That’s a lot of information,” he responded in an uninterested tone. Perhaps she was intelligent enough to pick up on social cues, meaning she could sense that he was disinterested in speaking with her. Just the sound of her voice, but more so her natural occurrences, like the way she breathed and how she grunted when she moved and paused that unnerved him. “I am waiting for the arena to launch and grant me more preoccupied time.”

“I’m sorry,” she immediately chuckled out the response, not wanting to be overwhelming to other people, but not yet taking it as seriously as Saiyyad seemed to think about it. Did she genuinely think she had bothered him? Unlikely. “It will, soon. There’s not much time left, in fact. Are you excited about this new arena? Don’t worry. I’m not fishing for details. I know your lips are sealed.” In the young man’s behavior, something seemed deeply odd. “But... um, are you alright?”

Not three sips into her strawberry milkshake, she dropped it on the floor, left with the straw separating her fingertips. At her feet, a pink bloodshed. Venine, big-eyed from under the umbrella-like hat, gave away a weak smile. “This is the worst day of my life,” she muttered softly, as if self-narrating.