i think the reason i’m so obsessed with pokemon is because since i was a kid it was the thing that always gave me most excitement for the future in my life when i was so worried and scared of said future. i really never had a positive outlook on where i was gonna end up in life or what was to come, it was something that i hated thinking about and that followed me through my life tbh even into my 20’s. but the thing that kept me going and that i could at least look forward to in a positive way was the release of new games and getting involved in the hype and interacting with the community and having something to be excited about. it was also something my brother and i bonded over and for literal years we’d always look forward to getting games and talking about new designs and mechanics and changes in comp and stuff. it was a very consistent thing that i could look forward to , even when i was at really low times and dealing with a lot of tough emotions back then i would always think “well at least the new game is coming out next year, i have to keep going so i can see all the new designs” and it fr gave me something to always look forward to. in a similar sense i feel this way about smash bros also, waiting on dlc characters and the feeling behind watching reveal trailers for the first time was something that really did a lot for me. however i think that in doing this with both games it was a sort of “putting all my eggs in one basket” type of thing where there were very few things i cared about as much as pokemon and smash. i feel like it’s truly a lifelong hyper fixation that i’m not sure if it’s healthy or harmful. when i think about it there were a lot of times it would be the sole thing in my life that i could find enjoyment in and bring me fulfillment. i think that’s a good thing i had something like that at all, but in hindsight it might have also been some kind of escapism and i may have taken it too far with how much of a priority it was in every sense. like i probably should have been thinking about my real future and real life instead of letting a game series control my life. but i think that at the end of the day, deep down i’m grateful for what these things did for me and idk where i’d be in life without that. sorry for the essay i’m kind of just like thinking about my life and what led to me being the person i am.
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