r/aita for kindred

the jury will decide your guilt and i will decide how you should atone.

since the asks and answers will often be in character, and vtm is by design a violent game with a downward spiral of humanity, be aware that we may be discussing — and defending — a range of horrific actions. i will tag major content warnings, but there will inevitably be things i miss. if discussions of gore or death on your dash risk making you uncomfortable, this blog may not be for you — please look after yourselves!

this is not about genuine answers to ethical dilemmas, but exploring the wonderful fun and horrors of other people’s chronicles and ocs!

( quick breakdown of the poll options:

YTA = You’re The Asshole

NTA = Not The Asshole

ESH = Everybody Sucks Here

I (25F) was recently turned into a vampire three days ago while I was enjoying the bayside area. All I remember from the night is going to the bay and a strange person tackling me before I woke up in a random house (with two other people in a similar situation) as a vampire without any guidance.

The next day, we found out that apparently all of us were turned in order to be shields for our sires (who then proceeded to kill a mage before they dumped us off somewhere random)! This has resulted in a mage reaching out to our trio and enlightening us on our new lives (such as what bloodlines we are and that apparently being a vampire involves a lot of religion?????) and making some deals with us. One of those deals involves my sire (since she has them unconscious right now?). We each give three vials of blood, then we can have my sire.

The thing is I have no idea what to do with my sire besides slap them? This is the person who killed, used, and abandoned me in the span of two hours (talk about absentee parent). Also, being turned in a Lasombra has also ruined my aspirations (and lively hood) as a model. Not to mention I can’t use any electronics now without having someone else do it for me! I told the mage about how I’m not sure what I would do with them (besides slapping them). In turn, the mage said it was fine and that she would keep my sire for blood if I didn’t want them.

Anyways, WIBTA if I left my sire with the mage? Or should I take the deal to get my sire? Any recommendations would be great…

Many kindred resent or outwardly despise their sires. It isn’t unusual for an embrace to backfire because the childe spends centuries in pursuit of revenge. That is why certain traditions exist in the Camarilla for example — to prevent such errors.

I would see what you can find out about your sire first. Are they generally respected? Are they likely to pay back this favour? Someone useful, who would advise and nurture you, might be worth the effort. Someone callous or unreliable, who has used you and now may abandon you, might be better kept away.

To rescue them blindly would be foolish. Especially if it involves giving mages your blood; you don’t know what the mages might do to act against you if they have it.

You might do better to abandon and usurp them.

Seems that this would depend on the relationship to your sire. I can see how this would look weak and dishonourable if entirely unintentional.

I used to work for an individual, D, attempted to set up an Anarch government in my city. I don't think she was a bad person at heart, but I realized over time she wouldn't have been a good Baron. My now-boyfriend, Z, was one of the only other people in the city with the wherewithal and support to rival her for the position of Baron, and I backed him in secret while continuing my work for D.

Eventually, Z offered me a life boon to remove D from the picture. I didn't think I could do it at the time, but later on D started to show signs of (I guess pretty well founded) paranoia, and eventually told me she planned on taking Z out. I told him as soon as I was able, and the conversation just kept going and there was music and then dancing and things just happened. I knew it was more than purely physical, but we were a bit pressed for time and didn't stop to talk details. I wasn't going to let D hurt him, and managed to come up with a way to get rid of her before she could do so.

Before I did that though, D owed me a boon. I knew she had access to Oblivion in addition to Brujah-typical disciplines. I invited her over to my place the next night. We had hooked up once, months before (zero romantic vibes, purely for fun), but I don't like risking the bond so we were careful about it. D said she wanted to let off steam and didn't want to have to be cautious about it this time. I frankly didn't want it to go that far at all, but if I were cashing out favors and acting distant right before a dangerous fight, she might've known something was up, so I did. I got my boon, and seemed to trust me right up until the end.

The next night was when Z and I finally had a chance to sit down again and he more formally expressed wanting to be together and be exclusive. It's been six months since then, he's Baron now, and we're still together and I think very happy. I've never told him about that night with D though.

It may be important to note that my boyfriend and I still keep things safe, partially to avoid the bond, but mostly because he has a vitae disease which he doesn't want to pass on to me. He probably wouldn't love the fact that D and I had hooked up in general, but combined with the timing, I think knowing things went further with her and I than can with us would be especially hard, hence why I've seen no need to intentionally bring it up.

I've never lied to hide it, it just hasn't come up naturally, and I know he'll find out eventually because there are only so many places I could've gotten Oblivion.

AITA for doing it and not going out of my way to inform him?

I think keeping things from your partner is a recipe for catastrophe. Particularly if you know the truth will out at. a time you do not get to decide.

Betrayal seems a theme for you, though.

I (103M, Malkavian) am in the process of moving to a new domain. An acquaintance who I owe a boon to heard of this and hired me to watch over a clan sister (70?F, Malkavian), who is headed for the same domain. Obviously without her knowledge.

The problem is that I know she's been patronised and constantly looked after her entire unlife due to her derangement, seen as unpredictable, vulnerable and incompetent because of it. Apparently she now wants to prove herself and that she can stand on her own two feet.

So AITA for planning to watch over her in the way I know she would hate, without telling her I've been tasked to do so by someone she trusts? As much as she wants to prove her competence and independence, from what I hear her derangement does make her vulnerable and quite unreliable. And I can't break my acquaintance's trust by telling her what my mission is. I value confidentiality.

I can appreciate the balancing needs of confidentiality, protection, and respect here. I do however wonder what “watching over” entails.

If she intends to take a course of action with which you disagree, will you stop her? Does she still have privacy around you, or is that, too, violated without her knowledge? Are you manipulating her relationships with others, or letting her negotiate her way in and out of problems and deals as she pleases?

There is a world of difference between keeping an eye for someones safety — which you may well have done anyway without ulterior motive — and spying on someone to prevent any unwanted act.

Do you have a plan for if she finds out?

For a bit of backstory, I (46F) have been getting into hand-to-hand combat with a Hecata friend of mine (20-something F) regularly for the past several years. It started as blowing off some steam for me (and circumventing a rule placed on me by my boss) but I quickly noticed that this friend of mine was always holding back. That really upset me, so I kept trying to push her to let out her full strength against me, but either she didn't take the bait or we were interrupted.

Flash forward a few years, and now we're in a coterie together, and we've had a lot less time to fight than we used to. While we were out on semi-unrelated business, my friend was informed that she would have a chance to get back in good with her sire and her charge, the latter of which is someone who is *extremely* special to her, and all she'd have to do is whack one little hunter we knew about. The problem is, she had already promised me that she would come help me with *my* boss, and in my line of work, promises are the kind of things that can never be broken lightly. So, in the parking garage on our way out, I told her that if she wanted to bail on me, she'd have to go *through* me.

The problem is, I was never really expecting to win. I've always been physically stronger on just a pure Potence level than her, but she's super good at fighting Kindred specifically, plus she has really high Fortitude - and with all this on the line, I thought this would be the time that she really gave it her all against me. So I did the same, and... I somehow came out on top. On top of that, she started to frenzy, so to try and bring her out of it, I let her bite my arm and she may or may not have gotten low-level bonded. I tried to drive her to where the hunter was, but by the time we got there, he'd already been taken out by someone else.

How could I have known she was going to lose in that moment? I do feel pretty bad, but I still don't disagree with anything I did. So, am I the asshole?

This was certainly not well thought out.

It seems this was far more important to her than this was to you. You knew you had greater potence, and yet…

I don’t disagree that breaking a promise comes with consequences, but if you truly had no intention to win this seems foolish.

You were unable to control your bloodlust and tore apart someone who had helped you out. The Prince must have assumed you were on good terms, otherwise why allow you to sit out.

From his perspective, you turned on your mentor in the most brutal of ways. Let alone that she has a certain invisible influence on you now. I can understand the mistrust.

Still, I would agree you did nothing *wrong*.

You risk the masquerade far too recklessly for my comfort. I suppose those of your blood cannot help it.

I do pity you, but that is about as far as my own goodwill would extend here. You seem not to understand certain fundamentals and you might do well to find someone willing to teach you.

Perhaps your peers will be kinder than I.

I (82M, Tremere) have a friend (36?M, Gangrel) who recently committed his first murder (victim was an enemy ghoul). The context was that our domain had stormed the HQ of a network of Ministers who had been causing us major trouble. This led to bloodshed, naturally.

My friend is a very kind and shy soul, and clearly struggled a lot with what he did. I know he's still very attached to his humanity. But I encouraged him to not feel bad for the murder and to not be remorseful, because they were enemies and would've done the same to us. I know the ghoul probably hadn't chosen to be there, but ghouls are always the first collateral anyway.

My friend accused me of losing my humanity too readily (I, too, had killed on that mission and don't feel much remorse), so now I'm concerned if the advice I gave him was bad advice, and if I'm pulling him down with me. But then again, he was probably going to kill someone sooner or later, as this is often just a reality of kindred life.

Different Kindred deal with unlife differently.

While true that a ghoul is only collateral, many remain attached to their humanity to some time. Some - admirably, perhaps - retain it for far longer than they lived.

You may not be wrong, but you were likely insensitive.

AITA for torporing a man who eats things that he shouldn’t?

I am unsure if there’s missing context here, but it seems a clear accident and one you had no responsibility and little ability to prevent.

(I was not able to answer this one in the usual way (tumblr decided the answer button didn’t exist) so I hope this suffices)

The upset here is understandable. Plus, you seem to be giving your mother space to make her own decisions, but ensuring she is (as best she can be within the constraints of the masquerade) informed to do so.

I am assuming he fed in such a way that she did not realise or remember, in which case she likely was not noticeable hurt. Breaking a fellow Kindred’s arm for harmless feeding may appear a little harsh.

You did, however, handle this with commendable grace. The masquerade remains intact, and your mother made her own choice based upon mortal issues and understandings. I admire this.