Steve puts his paintbrush down. He runs his hands over Bucky's blue-painted stomach and over the trail of hair that leads to his pants.
"Wanna see what other colors look like too," Steve says, letting his fingers roam and listening to the sounds Bucky makes when he does. "Gotta be prepared next time."
"Sure. Whatever you want. Told you," Bucky says, and then his hips rock up under Steve's. The angle's not right and the friction's not perfect. It's still enough that both of them groan. Steve wonders how long Bucky's been holding himself back and trying to resist moving like that. "Just— can you— please?"
"Don't know what you're asking for," Steve says. He sort of does. He's got a couple ideas, anyway. But the idea of Bucky saying it, actually asking, is too good to pass up.
"You're so — c'mere," Bucky says as he guides Steve closer to him with the hand he's got on Steve's back. "You plannin' to kiss me?"
— I Wanna Live in the Hidden Parts of Your Skin
Stucky:
Explicit:
There's a Light (I Find It At Your Side) | Canon Divergent | Complete | 4,537 words | A very soft fic about all the little things that keep surprising Bucky now that he and Steve are together.
There Are Strangers I Have Yet To Become | Canon Divergent | Complete | 16,070 words | Steve finds Bucky in Bucharest before the events of Captain America: Civil War. They work a few things out.
I Held You in Cold Hands (And I'm Not Letting Go) | AU: Modern | Complete | 48,785 words | A holiday rom-com in which Bucky reads to children, Steve teaches art, new friendships are made, difficult conversations are had, cookies are baked, way too much coffee is consumed, home is found in surprising places and, eventually, feelings are confessed
I Wanna Live in the Hidden Parts of Your Skin | Pre-war + Canon divergent | Complete | 10,278 words | Steve and Bucky discover a kink in 1940. They find a reason to come back to it 80 years later.
Where Were You When I Was King in This Part of Town? | AU: Modern | WIP | 15,232 words 2 of 3 chapters posted | Bucky probably shouldn't have sex with Steve in his office, continue having sex with Steve after he learns how much younger than him Steve is, start actually dating Steve, or fall for Steve hard and fast. Unless, of course, Bucky should absolutely do every one of those things.
If I Could Stop The Clock With You Tonight | AU: Modern | Complete | 10,855 words | Natasha hires a private chef to cook Steve's birthday dinner. Steve's not too sure about the idea of a total stranger in his apartment on his birthday, but Chef James is incredibly attractive and very charming. He also seems oddly familiar. That might just be because Steve has met him before.
Hearts Don't Need a Break (I'll Be Waiting For You | Canon Divergent: ShrunkyClunks | Complete | 4,615 words | Bucky enthusiastically welcomes Steve back after a long absence, and they have a very overdue conversation about their relationship — and their feelings.
Darling, Let's Take Our Time (While It's Still Ours To Take) | AU: Star Wars | Complete | 6,682 words | Steve's a rebel pilot with a target on his back, Bucky runs a bar that's a hub for rebel activity, and the two of them have a long history. It's a Star Wars AU.
Must Be Kiss Me, So Kiss Me | (AU: Modern | Explicit | 26,642 words | complete | Steve is just looking for a way to get a box of things back to its rightful owner when he sends the email. He's not expecting to get anything beyond a forwarding address in return. He's definitely not expecting to fall for the man who responds. An AU featuring Steve, Bucky, one terrible ex-boyfriend, so many text messages, a shameless amount of flirting, a little bit of sexting, some slightly concerned friends, plenty of kisses, and a lot of feelings.)
But Slowly, Because You Know Me | Pre-War | 5,186 words| Complete | Thanksgiving this year feels strange and terrible, and it leaves Steve in an awful mood. Good thing Bucky's got an idea. A pre-war Thanksgiving fic featuring pie slices, a makeshift blindfold, their fire escape, and a lot of feelings.
Baby, Lay Your Burden Down | Wartime | 2,867 words | Complete | Bucky, Steve, a tent, and a cold night in Europe.
And We're on Our Own in the Afterglow | Canon Divergent | | WIP | 9,028 words | 2/5 chapters | Steve, Bucky, and a month's vacation in a mountain cabin. Featuring Steve's art, a fireplace, online shopping, so very much pining, two beds (but eventual sharing anyway), comfort for decades of hurt, and even some talk about feelings.
Mature:
As Your Heart Keeps Me Warm | Canon + Canon divergence | Complete | 8,024 words | Steve Rogers at exactly 2:14 am on 10 different sleepless nights between 1937 and 2020.
We Were Strangers for Far Too Long |AU: Historic | Complete | 5,314 words | It's the late 1970s, and two boys from Brooklyn spend most of their days breaking the law. Bucky, because there's no other way to work off a debt owed to dangerous people. Steve, because maybe if he paints his message on the side of the C Train, someone will finally listen. Meeting each other doesn't change anything. Until it changes everything.
But You Can Hold Me (Only 'Cause It's a Cold Night In Brooklyn) | Pre-war | Complete | 3,300 words | Sometimes, Bucky and Steve lend each other a hand, literally. Bucky tries not to be weird about it, but he's always been bad at controlling his thoughts about Steve.
In The Mood To Let You Know | AU: Historic | 5,189 words | WIP | During the height of the 1918 flu outbreak in New York, a seventeen-year-old Steve spends a month indoors. Steve and Bucky write letters to pass the time and keep in communication. By the time Steve is out and about again, they've said a few things they'll never say out loud. At least not until 1925, when Bucky can't seem to stop running into Steve in unexpected places. )
Teen:
We Set a Precedent, and Now I'm Living With It AU: Modern | Complete | 8,212 words | Work friends Bucky and Steve get into the habit of helping each other escape uncomfortable, awkward, or bad situations. Their escape plans get increasingly elaborate as their friendship gets increasingly close. That's probably why their whole office thinks they're actually dating.
A Kiss Just Waiting to Happen AU: Modern | Complete | 3,470 words | College boys Steve and Bucky have been checking each other out in the hallways of their apartment building for the better part of a school year. Then they get trapped in an elevator together. Because sometimes we all need a little trope-y goodness.
Don’t Need to Read My Mind (There’s Only One Thing That I Want) | AU: Modern | Complete | 5,530 words | Bucky is very competent and is doing a pretty great job at just about everything — except handling his feelings for Steve. He's doing a terrible job at that. It's a problem.
The Danger is: I'm Dangerous | AU: Shrinkyclinks | Complete | 4,299 words| (Or: It's a Shrinkyclinks meet cute! Featuring a post-TWS Bucky who takes on gigs tailing people's cheating spouses, and a small Steve who makes art and doesn't intimidate easily.)
Gen:
Following the Outline of Your Face | Canon | Complete| 1,000 words | A ficlet about vacations, drawing, and the good light.
Set the Date, Set the Time (‘Cause We Already Know Where We’re Going) | AU: Modern | Complete | 5,161 words | Steve teaches art to kids. He's used to his students not always being focused on art, and he's used to them being very curious about him. He's not at all used to them trying to set him up with their adult family members, but he can't complain about it. Not when the family member he's been set up with walks through his classroom door and is the most beautiful man Steve has ever seen.
You're a Gem But Not a Saint | Pre-war | Complete | 1,700 words | Steve doesn't show up for dinner. Bucky wishes he could think Steve just forgot.
CA: TWS 10th Anniversary ficlets | Canon + Canon divergence | Gen -> Mature |5,700 words total | Complete | No warnings
Additional ships, fandoms, and original work:
MCU |Polyamory: Cap Quartet Combinations
"Right now, he smells like his musky cedar-noted body wash, faintly of weed and also, actually, like Steve. Nat laughs softly when she catches the familiar scent of Steve's favorite tobacco-scented soap mixing in. It's honestly a really pleasant effect that could pass as intentional if she didn't know them both so well.
"Mm?" Bucky says in response to her laughter. Nat turns her face just slightly but stays in the crook of his neck.
"You smell like Steve was here," Nat points out, Bucky grins, and she watches the motion of his jaw when he does. He passes her their dwindling joint again before he answers.
"Steve lives here," Bucky says. Nat pokes at his stomach for it with her free hand and then leaves her hand on the soft fabric of his sweater. "And six hours ago he was in a much better mood," Bucky adds. Nat laughs again.
— I'm Gonna Keep You Weak In The Knees (Try To Unlock Your Heart)
I'm Gonna Keep You Weak In The Knees (Try To Unlock Your Heart) | AU: Modern | Bucky/Natasha, Bucky/Natasha/Steve | Explicit | Complete | 4,360 words | Bucky and Nat share a joint and then have sex. Steve fights with people on the internet
Success Was Survival And Kid, It Still Is | Canon-set | Steve/Natasha/Sam| Explicit |Complete | 6,100 words | It's another night in another seedy motel room, and Nat's feeling the stress of their latest mission. Steve and Sam help her stop thinking for a while.
Non-MCU Fandoms
Drew wants to do it forever the second it starts. He puts a hand on Eli's knee and Eli folds into him a little. Drew's swimming, and he's floating.
It feels easy in the best way. It's easy, like slipping into a jacket that's all broken and fits you perfectly, and easy like drumming the tempo of a song you've played a thousand times with beats that have sunken into your own pulse. It's easy, like when a new pair of jeans fit just right after the first wash, and easy like when you're learning a brand new song and your hands find the beat like you knew it already.
It's easy, like things that are natural, safe, comfortable, yours, and good. It's easy in a way Drew didn't know being with a person could be.
— Yes, a Heart Should Always Go One Step Too Far
Skies Open up (And I Don't Even Have to Touch You) (Heated Rivalry (TV)) | Shane/Ilya | Explicit | Complete | 6,092 words | Novelty, first times, cock warming, and so, so many feelings.
Just Us Spanning Light Years (Meet Me In The Sky) Star Wars | Han/Lando | General | Compete | 500 words | A tiny moment in a faraway part of the galaxy.
Your Girl She's a Renegade (A Hurricane That Keeps You There Safe) | Pretty Little Liars | Hanna/Spencer | Mature | Complete | 3,260 words | A noir-style AU featuring vigilante girlfriends Spencer and Hanna.
You Forget, I've Known You Seven Years | Pretty Little Liars | Toby/Caleb | 9,700 words | Teen | Complete | A Five Times Fic. Five Toby and Caleb scenes that could be canon. And one that diverges off to start an entirely new story.
So I Could Blend in With the Sky | The Secret Garden | Collin/Dickon | General | Complete | 5,300 words | Sometimes, it felt as if Dickon knew Colin's secrets before Colin himself did.
And It’s Cold (But You Keep Me Warm) | The Secret Garden | Colin/Dickon | General | Complete | 2,381 words | Colin, Dickon, and a private moment at an annual party.)
Yes, a Heart Should Always Go One Step Too Far | Degrassi | Eli/Drew | Teen | Complete | 6,700 words | Drew and Eli get locked in a shed during a thunderstorm. Drew has some revelations about bisexuality.
Will You Keep a Candle Burning? (Will You Let Me Come and Stay?) | Newsies expect, like, not? Look, I don't know. This is my weird little baby, though. You should totally read about my polyamorous OC newsboys, okay? | Explicit | Complete | M/M, M/M/M/M | 116,252 words | In the summer of 1899, Elijah takes a train to New York after getting kicked out of college. He finds himself thrown into the middle of a labor strike and a woefully under-negotiated polyamorous male trio. Somehow, he quickly becomes vital to both situations. He might even be the missing piece the trio has always needed. He's never been sure he believed in fate, but it quickly becomes hard for him not to think that he's exactly where he's meant to be.
When You First Took My Hand On A Cold Christmas Eve | Explicit | Complete | M/M | 5,700 words | It's a prequel to the sort-of-a-Newsies fic! | Two boys spending Christmas in a jail cell. Featuring: telling stories about Finnish Christmas customs, making homemade mistletoe, cuddling under scratchy blankets, trying out new sex ideas, and having conversations about the benefits of sticking together.
Original Work:
Gabe's doing that thing he does. Well, alright, fine. He's just sitting there. He's not actually doing anything, but it feels like he is. He's sitting there with his I'm working glasses on, his dark hair falling over his face, and a black sweater covering his small frame.
It's all a lot for Aiden to handle.
A sweater, honestly. First of all, it's warm as hell out today. Second of all, who the fuck just casually wears a sweater like that? Aiden doesn't even own any sweaters. Let alone entirely too-well-fitting, thin, and soft-looking black ones.
Every single day of Aiden's life is a struggle.
— Secretly, I'm Hoping For the Dare Again
Leave Your Legacy In Gold On The Plaques That Line The Hall | Mature | Complete | M/M | 5,100 words | Corey's best friend and stepsister are probably into each other. It's fine. Corey is secretly in love with his best friend, but it's really fine. Corey can handle this. Really.)
A Time and Place Stand Still | Teen | Complete | 19,623 words | A gay Beauty and The Beast Retelling
All Those Walls Are Caving In (It's Beautiful) | General | Complete | 4,898 words | A ghost story | Mia gets both acting advice and a request for help from a ghost.
And If All That I Could Ever Be | Explicit | Complete | M/M | 25,214 words| Declan is a famous musician guest-starring as himself on two episodes of a TV show. He's not really sure why he let his team talk him into it. Cole is a studio intern who is more than happy to help with anything Declan needs during his week on set.
So Tell Me Your Type, 'Cause Right Now I'm Listening | Explicit | WIP | M/M | 22,228 words| Ethan is spending the weekend in his hometown in an attempt to get over an ex and clear his head. He's not planning to go to a party or to spend his entire Friday night talking to his best friend's older brother. He winds up doing both. A lot can change in a weekend.
Secretly, I'm Hoping For the Dare Again | Explicit | Complete | M/M | 10,474 words | Aiden's always been a terrible liar. He can't even lie to himself, and the truth? Is that he's got a major problem. It goes like this: Aiden's best friend, his college roommate, his former tutor, and his hopeless crush? Are all the same guy.
Don't Really Wanna Stop Myself | Explicit | Complete | M/M | 10,282 words | While on tour, Caleb comes back to his hotel suite to find a hot stranger in his hotel room. It's a surprise, but it's a surprise he can absolutely work with.
This Could Be The Drug That Doesn't Bite | Explicit | Complete | M/M | 8,531 words | Miles really should have read more reviews of this bar before he came out tonight. Dustin is more than happy to offer him some advice. And to offer him a few other things.
If I Taste Bittersweet | Explicit | Complete | M/M/M/M | 13,409 words | Connor's had a run of terrible luck. He needs to earn a lot of money in the next two days. He's counting on this sex party as a way to make at least some of what he needs. He's not counting on meeting Trevor and Lucas, or on the ways they make it seem like his luck might be changing.
All The Wine is All for Me | Explicit | Complete | M/M | 8,885 words | Mark's business partners swore they were going to get him laid on his birthday. He assumed that meant they were planning to be his wingmen over a few birthday drinks. He didn't think they meant they were going to buy birthday sex for him. As it turns out? That's exactly what they meant.
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do you guys ever like forget you’re interested in something until you start engaging with it again and you go “oh wait i’m like crazy crazy about this yeah”
I just can’t even understand using AI to write fic. I can’t. Fic is entirely optional. I write it for the joy of writing it, not just to slapdash post a finished product. And the finished product is only satisfying because I wrote it! Me! Not a robot!!
I have a lot of weird and bad feelings rn but ultimately the thing I can say most succinctly is that art without humanity isn’t art. And the struggle of writing, smoothing over road blocks, filling in plot holes, fiddling with the sentences you can’t quite nail have always been the point. That. Not the shiny product and kudos at the end. The process is the point. The love you have for the characters and the craft is the point! Without it, why are we even here?
This and can I add when I hit a wall in my fics which is OFTEN instead of going to a robot, I go to a discord server which is also full of writers who are also full of despair because writing is often 😭😭😭.
We fucking "talk about it" in a "community" of fellow "people" and that is beautiful. And we say "Can someone look at this fucking doc I can't tell if it's complete garbage that needs launched into the sun and my keyboard privileges should be taken away or if maybe I just looked at it for too long."
And I didn't magically fall into that community, I found it slowly, because I wanted to write and it's hard and lonely to write. And so I joined a fandom event and started a Tumblr and replied to comments and asked in my author's notes if anyone wanted to help beta because I am a lonely, messy disaster who can't grammar. And people did help me because my bad grammar was giving them hives and also they enjoy community and talking about things they love with people who love the same thing.
Does this make sense? Like it's really sad to me because, yeah, I can't imagine writing my super-long fics all alone with no support. You don't have to write with no support. But because I sought human support, I get writing and editing help from beautiful, interesting weirdos who live all over the world and have all kinds of wonderful things and skills to share.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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all you new fandom members need to QUIET DOWN oh my god you're going to get us KILLED. we're happy to have you but if you keep talking about BULLSHIT like PUBLISHING fanfic for MONEY, Anne Rice is going to come back from the dead to KILL US. looking at YOU, maurauders fans, heated rivalry fans, byler fans...out here giving out interviews to news channels SHUT UP. we're going to have to start setting off firecrackers to keep the rent down.
when whitman said “i contradict myself. i am large… i contain multitudes” and wilde said “what are you? to define is to limit” and sumney said “i insist upon my right to be multiple”
and when mahmoud darwish said “I am besieged by contradiction” and when lewis carroll said “I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then”
people talk all the time about “primal instincts” and it’s usually about violence or sexual temptations or something, but your humanity comes with a lot of different stuff that we do without really thinking about, that we do without being told to or prompted to
your average human comes pre-installed with instincts to:
Befriend
Tell story
Make Thing
Investigate
Share knowledge
Laugh
Sing
Dance
Empathize with
Create
we are chalk full of survival instincts that revolve around connecting to others (dog-shaped others, robot-shaped, sometimes even plant-shaped) and making things with our hands
your primal instincts are not bathed in blood- they are layered in people telling stories to each other around a fire over and over and putting devices together through trial and error over and over and reaching for someone and something every moment of the way
on the topic of ilya's necklace i do often think about how exactly it came into his possession because i'm sure his mother hardly ever took it off. i volley back and forth between him sobbing and screaming to his brother and father until they gave in and let him keep it before they took her body away (with the threat of never letting it be seen and hence why it is never seen around them) or when ilya found his mother, she had already knew ultimately that it would probably be ilya that found her and took it off so he took it before anyone else could when he found her body and his brother and father never ask about it because they just know and ilya never allows them to see it again, but refuses to let the only piece he has of her go
also a third and more devastating option. she gave it to him the night before, maybe after a small meltdown or something as a way to calm him and ilya doesn't think much of it (knowing in the back of her mind that he deserved a piece of her more than anyone else)
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I always feel so cheated in stories when characters are walking around with this Big Guilt and then...you find out that the thing wasn't their fault at all. And not in a "they thought they did it but it turns out they were set up" way, or even a "accepting that just because they did A which caused B which caused C it doesn't mean C was their fault", way but where they finally lay out the sequence of events and it's clear that any thinking person would not connect them. Like, fucking commit!!! The character isn't LESS compelling if they actually did the thing! You can't have the haunted brooding meow meow who is...also completely blameless
