bite the hand that feeds!

it kind of just HAS to be one of my goals to accept that i am not going to "Grow Out" of the way that i enjoy things. like ma'am you're twenty-eight years of age and still acting like this when you have fun with something and it's probably gonna be that way forever. unfortunately i care about my interests with a deep and moderately obsessive level of intensity. maybe when i was sixteen i assumed i'd not be like that anymore at this point but by now i think it's safe to say it's just my personality and getting embarrassed about it is needless self-flagellation. i don't need to be doing that when i could be making collages or something.

i shouldn't be mean because in all fairness hearing him sing elizabeth without the full mask is kind of like when that kid in naruto took the ankle weights off. but that still doesn't even approach what i'd expect for "person specifically asked to sing one of the most famous and difficult songs ever."

and it's not like tf is some singularly talented vocalist that would make people go "oh you know who HAS to sing bohemian rhapsody." kind of has a famously limited range, even. due to the years of uh only doing songs that can be sung with a silicone mask glued directly to the lips.

i get why top/bottom discourse has a reputation for being silly and meaningless but at the same time it IS often something where you can absolutely tell what someone's views on sex and gender roles is like based on what they decide to be true for the sexual positions of characters with certain traits or characters who are from certain demographics/etc. and sometimes those views are dogshit and i think it's useful to interrogate why these people hold them.

why and how did my new meds give me such a strong gag reflex.

had a nail appt today and since last time my nail guy had dyed his hair and eyebrows fully red and we listened exclusively to justin bieber's discography in descending order of popularity but damned if he doesn't do good nails

at the heart of it, cardi's miserable all the time because she was meant to be a diva with huge boobs and a vegas residency and two or more boyfriends.

the way judith and cardi interact in the chapters is so funny it's exactly the way people talk to and physically engage with characters at a theme park. kind of makes me lose it.

i felt so much peace back when i believed cardi could actually be dead in the middle of the road. it happened the day before my birthday and i wasn't even bothered. but i just don't think that's realistic anymore. it's too easy. too simple, for a poor sap like me to be able live a normal life just like that. no, there's always more bullshit ahead.

i can't decide if i should do v or cardi makeup for the early access day. probably v. it's v's movie. but v's also significantly harder and i already did that once for the concert. it's just so hard because i'm so hot in both.