Hart Of Darkness

I couldn’t think over the noise over all the chaos, over the wailing sirens and the rampant, insistent firing of the enemy ships outside. But this was it, I knew it was. I looked up at Ben, his eyes wide with fear, with desperation. A clear understanding of the horror mounting around us forced his usually calm expression to falter in the form of a crease above his brow. Finn and Poe each looked at me, then at Ben, both faces etched with confusion of something I’d probably never be able to explain to them, not fully, not sufficiently. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed hold of Ben’s arm as the ship dipped in a violent shudder as we took another hit—a few more and our shields would be gone. There wasn’t enough warning, not in my dreams, not in the waking hours that plagued me with what I already knew was the answer. ‘Rey!’ my eyes shot up, meeting Finn’s. ‘What is going on?’ Keeping my gaze locked on his, I forced a tight smile and looked across at Poe and finally at Ben. ‘It’s too late, you need to leave, all of you.’ Ben moved quickly, taking my hand and forcing my attention to him, whatever I was about to say would be lost, if those dark, fierce eyes stole my attention any longer. Despite the agony in doing so, I forced a deep breath into my lungs and pulled my hand free. ‘He knew, he always knew there’d be one, stronger than you, stronger than Vader, he knew, and he was waiting and after all these years, after all this time, he’s coming for me.’ The two men behind Ben were warriors, both were strong in their own right, both had come up through this war as heroes, men I was proud to fight beside, and I didn’t need to look across at them to see the disbelief flooring them, I didn’t need to see because I felt it, like I’d felt everything my whole life. ‘You said it yourself, Ben, when we touched hands, you saw me turn, you saw me switch sides, just like I saw with you. We were both right.’ ‘No, Rey.’ He shook his head, he wouldn’t believe it, even now, as I stood there, darkness emanating from within me, a darkness I always knew was there. It’s what I’d told Luke, wasn’t it? That it’s always been there, but I’d been afraid. That was a lie, I was never afraid, I was curious and now I knew why. There was always something that kept me safe, alive when most skilled fighters would have fallen, succumbed to the loneliness and pain, something I now finally knew and understood and it their strength, my weakness disappeared. But not without a cost. The cost came in the form of losing everything just when I’d found it. Ben’s eyes narrowed, taking me in, completely hanging onto every thought I was afraid to think because he’d see it and he’d feel the truth in it. And he did. On the surface he was still, calm, but inside, where I felt every fiber of the force pulsing between us, he was shaken, he was in shock but most of all, he was afraid—a true fear I’d only felt once, when Snoke was about to launch is finest weapon against me, just before he turned against Snoke. ‘Rey…’ My eyes snapped back to Ben’s, ignoring the others, ignoring the sirens and the bucking and protesting shakes coming from the ship. ‘Anakin and Yoda shielded me from birth, they knew Snoke would be coming, they knew he’d sense the force in me, I was born of it, of the darkness and now, the shield is gone, it’s broken, and he knows it’s me.’ ‘Rey, I know you, I sense the light in you, the good.’ Ben stepped toward me and I stepped back. As I studied his expression, I saw the resolve break, he didn’t believe what he was saying, but he believed in me, in us. ‘There’s only Darkness, Ben, only darkness and I won’t be able to fight it when he comes. You need to leave now.’ ‘I’m not leaving you, we’re not leaving you. Whatever comes, it comes for all of us.’ ‘Only it doesn’t.’ I said, keeping my hands safely wrapped around my chest and my eyes away from the pleading in his lips. ‘Rey.’ Finn added. ‘He’s right, as much as it pains me to admit, we’re not going, and by my count, we don’t have long before the shields drop.’ ‘Which is why you need to leave. Right now.’ ‘Not happening.’ Poe added. ‘But we do need to move, this bridge isn’t going to hold much longer.’