viola’s presence was always something of a world-balancing, blood-boiling dream to mateo. she was like ice in his warm hands: solid for a moment, but slowing melting and slipping between his fingers with every passing moment, and mateo was too passive–or perhaps too scared of the possibility of them ending–to confront the fact. still, he basked in his ability to forget all of that ( for her sake, mostly ) as she slid her legs over his lap, her body weighing him down deliciously. “hm,” he hummed, taking a moment to look around and the apartment from where he sat, before casually looking down at her, a hand immediately moving to caress her jaw, moving so that his thumb could run over her bottom lip as he grinned absentmindedly. ours. the word vibrated through his chest. “big for what’s expected of them, then,” he said. he wanted to kiss her–wanted to take advantage of the moment and take her home and play pretend like they had grown so good at, and so used to doing. but then she was sitting up, frowning, and his brows furrowed as he listened to her next sentence–only half-surprised when it ruined his mood. but he understood. he did. it just didn’t change the fact that it wasn’t at all what mateo wanted to hear. “you don’t even know what ‘some’ is,” mateo said, the words falling from his lips as a fragment of his subconscious more than anything. he didn’t sigh–but he wanted to. “but yeah,” he said, reaching slowly into his back pocket and pulling out a small bag of white powder–whiter than crushed xans, which meant that mateo had no real use for it. he had scored it after spending a measly hour with the pricks who owned the place. the funny thing was: he hadn’t seen a use for it until just now. give her what she wants–make viola happy; that was his prerogative. “you wouldn’t want the kind of some i’m on tonight anyway,” he said, leaning back against the couch again as he held his open hand out to viola. he fought the urge to look away, and licked his lips instead, the hand on her thigh tightening. “all yours.”
viola had never felt so unsteady as she did in this moment, so malleable and fragile in the bone-liquefying presence of someone who’d been nothing but unmovable in all the time she’d known him. she wondered if she’d take new shape should he press his fingers hard enough into her skin — and whether he’d still want her when his fingertips were molded into her flesh. she could have melted there, her lip catching on the pad of his thumb as she sighed lightly, eyelids fluttering at the burn of his touch ( he was a living flame, leaving scorch marks on her arms, her jaw, her throat — and, god, was she glad to sizzle and char ). but then reality swept in, cooling the air and settling icily between them. she didn’t drop her eyes as she slowly took the baggie from his proffered hand, forcing herself not to snatch at it like the starving animal she knew she resembled. “ as long as it gets the job done, right? ” she’d plenty of experience with disappointment, but it always seemed to slice right into the center of her chest when it came from mateo; had she not been so terribly masochistic, she’d have apologized, stepped away and left.. but viola was nothing if not self-indulgent in all her endeavors. rather than give up the heat radiating from him ( self sacrificing, she was not ), she carefully shook some of the powder on the back of her hand, inhaling it with a shiver and a sigh, the throbbing headache already beginning to fog over. blinking slowly, she breathed deeply as the high began to settle in her bones, her heartbeat steadily picking up speed with each breath. focusing her eyes on mateo again, she smiled in thanks, pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth ( she’d meant to kiss him properly, but she’d missed, encouraging her to try again ), her fingers toying idly with the collar of his shirt. “ you know i’m down for anything, ” she teased quietly, her mood noticeably brighter than it had been not five minutes before. her mind was still a bit clouded, but sitting so comfortably with the one person she knew wouldn’t let anything happen to her, she didn’t let the worry weigh on her. sighing contentedly, she rested an elbow on the back of the couch beside his head, leaving their faces only a few inches apart. she studied him, re-memorizing his face for what felt like the millionth time, finding something new and fascinating every time she did so. her finger trailed so lightly across his features that she barely touched him at all ( and yet she felt her fingertip begin to grow hot the longer it spent in almost-contact with his skin ). “ you’re so beautiful, teo. “
