I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
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@violagirl39
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.

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floating loafs on several degrees of squish
truly dads with new born babies v dads with children are two completely different people this man used to strap this child to his chest with a double chest wrap because he was terrified of giving her shaken baby syndrome and now he just kinda hucks her , I'll be sitting on the bed and all of a sudden my child just comes soaring towards me
Husband when child was newborn: you are my beautiful soft amazing little creature and I will be so gentle and lightly clean you softly and sing you sweet songs
Husband now that child is 4 years old: carries feral child upside down into the bathroom telling her she is a smelly little beast and she has to wash her butt while she sings him songs about spraying him with the shower head
Husband when child was newborn: "bath time and bed time is my special one on one time with my sweet baby angel where I tell her how special and soft and sweet she is and spend much needed time relaxing and getting her to relax and snuggling"
Husband now that child is 4 and "sturdy" (his words not mine): "bath time is my special time for hand to hand combat with my warrior princess where I teach her how to throw a punch and try to exhaust her enough that she passes out until tomorrow, and if that doesn't work I just start making deals like she's a mob boss and I am a desperate flunkie"
Husband when child was newborn: here is your hypoallergenic formula heated to the exact temperature that you need to have the thickening agent activate in a ulta double sterilized bottle my miracle NICU baby, it takes 25 -35 minutes to make but it is what we must do to keep you safe and healthy.
Husband now that child is 4: "I had to make her a breakfast snack of two eggs and toast before we go out to brunch because she was gnawing on the bars of her enclosure and I am frankly terrified of the small piranha she becomes when hangry."
Via @somanyofthekids
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GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”
Americans:
in case anyone in wondering, this is Paul Hollywood's idea of a s'more
You know what, their absolute inability to grasp Mexican foods makes more sense every day
Nodding my head in support of the Americans despite having no clue what a s’more is.
Okay, American immigrant to the UK here to explain all the mistakes from Paul Hollywood happening here: there is one fundamentally American ingredient required to make a s'more correctly but which is basically not available anywhere at all in the UK, and that is graham crackers. A plain digestive biscuit close-ish, but still a very different beast.
From Wikipedia: A graham cracker is a sweet flavored cracker made with graham flour.
The next ingredient (which is also extremely traditionally American but slightly more variable) is typically Hershey's chocolate, but you could probably swap this out in the UK with any plain chocolate bar.
Last ingredient is big marshmallows, the kind you do the chubby bunny challenge with, like the size of your thumb and twice as thick.
A proper s'more, the most traditional possible variety, involves to graham cracker squares, two slab segments of Hershey's chocolate, and one to two marshmallows depending on your preference for filling and gooeyness. You put a slab of chocolate on one of the graham cracker squares. Your marshmallows should be toasted, usually over a campfire but if you're doing them at home over a gas stove burner is fine, but the fire part is critical. You can toast them to whatever degree you like, some people like them nice and golden brown but still kind of firm in the middle, me personally? I want that bitch to CATCH ON FIRE, I want it gooey and sticky as hell in the middle, crispy and burnt on the outside. Slap that motherfucker on your graham cracker and chocolate square, top with the other one so your marshmallow and chocolate are sandwiched together by graham cracker on the outside. You do this with your freshly toasted marshmallow because ideally it will be hot enough to start to melt the chocolate so it sticks to the marshmallow and the graham cracker and, combined with the gooey marshmallow, it keeps the whole thing together, and for that reason some people will let them sit for a hot second to let the melting process happen (especially if like me you have chocolate on BOTH graham cracker squares, not just one, because you're a sugar fiend), but if you are a young child you do not have that degree of patience and you eat that shit immediately, unmelted chocolate and all. Consume your summer camp delight like a tiny club sandwich, get gooey sticky marshmallow and chocolate all over your hands, and enjoy.
Important note: this is a kids treat. It is a traditional summer camping trip dessert. It should be something any ten year old with adult supervision and access to the ingredients can make (and make a mess of). They're called s'mores because kids always "want s'more". If you are using a blowtorch, chocolate biscuits, and merengue, you are so far beyond the bounds of s'more-hood that you have thoroughly lost the plot. If you offered Paul Hollywood's concoction to an American child and called it a s'more, they'd tell you flat out that not only is it not a s'more, it looks dumb and you didn't do it right because it's not gooey.
the point is the mess. the point is getting to make a food, at age seven, whose two basic food groups are 'sugar' and 'fire'. the other point is that this food item is so crumbly, chaotic, sticky, on fire, and prone to being dropped (outside, in the dark, while you are surrounded by other children who are also sticky and on fire) that your supervisors cannot accurately monitor how many smores you personally have consumed. the point is also that you may get away with a smore that is five blocks of chocolate and two marshmallows if you move fast and let nothing stop you.
if you haven't accidentally yet unrepentantly eaten a chunk of twigs or dirt or a bug that got enmeshed in the creative process around smore number 3st, you are too old to have any legitimate input into what makes a smore.
There's 2 other points that I think are important.
The first is that you don't pull the marshmallow off the roasting stick and somehow put it on the chocolate. Your staging area will look something like this, with the graham crackers and chocolate already set out (though not usually on the fire like this, for us it was always someone's lap or a picnic table or something)
And when your marshmallow has reached appropriate roasting perfection, you use the graham crackers to slide it off the stick.
and ideally, as a CHILD you are using a literal stick. Like you walked around and spent time looking for The Perfect Stick off the ground while the adults set up the fire. It has to be thin enough the marshmallow will fit, sturdy enough that it won't bow, long enough that you won't burn yourself roasting your marshmallow. And preferably doesn't have a lot of bark that's sloughing off, OR so much bar sloughing off you can peel it all back and get to the clean stick under it. If you're smart, you might stick the tip into the fire first to "wash" it/burn off anything that was still lingering, but. well, most kids don't.
When you bite in, the marshmallow and chocolate SHOULD ooze out all over you. If you don't kinda look like this eating it, you've probably done it wrong:
The description of the marshmallows as being either brown on the outside but still firm on the inside or fully melted but burned on the outside is missing the true art: fully molten in the middle, without the black burns. Not to say OP is wrong for preferring the burn! But there is a technique for perfection and it goes like this:
You find a spot, not above all the logs where everyone sticks their marshmallows by default, but at the heart of the fire. Ideally between a couple logs already glowing gold. Something like here:
Below the leaping flame. Near the logs. There's probably only one or two spots good enough for this on any given fire, but that's okay because everyone else is up above. They will get their marshmallows faster. They will be either firm or burned or both. That's not your goal.
Rotate the marshmallow slowly. Ideally come in at an angle so the part closest to the flame is the side, not the tip. The spot closest to the fire is the spot that turns a crispy golden brown, and you want that everywhere, on the tip and around the circle.
You keep going, slowly turning, for several minutes. Several people will rotate in and out of the higher sections, getting their fast delight. Eventually, your marshmallow will start sagging badly, risking falling. Maybe it does fall and got start over. But eventually it will be golden brown all over, and so liquid it no longer clings to the stick. It is ready, finally.
You say "who hasn't gotten one yet?" And deposit it onto their waiting graham crackers and chocolate. You've made an excellent marshmallow. It isn't for you. Get another while you're over by the bags and go back to the heart of the fire.
That's your evening. One, slow, perfect marshmallow at a time, given to whomever still wants s'more. You're making art for children to stuff into their mouths cheerfully. You're watching the movement of the fire and the heat of the logs, like you would if you were maintaining it — maybe you would be, maybe you were the one who built it — but right now that's not the goal. Let someone else put more logs on, while you take only the one stick and find the best spot for it to live.
You will, eventually, finish a marshmallow and find that nobody moves to accept it. Maybe they're all eating right now, or maybe they've gone through so many they're hesitating. Eat your masterpiece then. Enjoy it, the hardest and most perfect result from a fun and beautiful moment. Go back in for another, until you've run out of marshmallows and the fire is too low or until even you are done with s'mores, until you have made enough.
"We don't want a gooey mess" pfft even the artistry studied at the feet of my father is inherently a gooey mess. That's the whole point!
Every word of every addition to this post is both 100% true and Pulitzer Prize winning writing.
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When the tank covers your party so they can bop out to some island tunes (I am almost finished with Metaphor Refantazio and it's been a really fun game. I love all the cute characters that join your party!)
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the problem with movie remakes is that they always remake something that was already good, meaning at worst you ruin it and at best your remake is largely redundant. to make a truly good remake you need to start with source material that is absolute dogwater. ignore the pull of nostalgia. redeem the sins of moviemaking past.

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Later they go out for a superposition of chocolate and vanilla ice cream.
Check out the bonus panel on the site.
───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────
SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE
Buy this comic as a print.
"very guilty and problematic client" holy copaganda batman
let’s start parsing who does and doesn’t deserve representation and assign moral weight to agreeing to protect their rights I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong
This is the endpoint of assigning morality based on ontologies of people. You wind up with the simplest ontology: good or bad.
Getting tired of saying this but
THE POINT OF A DEFENSE ATTORNEY ISN'T TO GET THEIR CLIENT OFF. IT'S TO MAKE THE STATE PROVE THEIR CASE AND DO THEIR DUE DILIGENCE.
IT'S TO PROVIDE A CHECK ON THE POWER OF THE STATE TO JUST THROW PEOPLE IN JAIL.
If someone "gets off" because of a technicality that means the state DID NOT DO THAT.
I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive
KINGDOM HEARTS 4 REAL THIS TIME
Honestly, content moderation is one of the things where I kind of see a legitimate application for AI. Like, I don't actually think the technology is good enough to do it effectively, but I also think that human workers are already incapable of doing it effectively, and at least you wouldn't be forcing a bunch of people to look at torture, rape, murder, and hate propaganda all day, so it seems like a net improvement.
While I see what you’re saying, in order to train the AI to spot that stuff, the method is to force a bunch of people to look at torture, rape, murder, and hate propaganda all day.
Oh yeah, yeah, I see the problem.
But it stays trained after you do it, right?
Ideally, yes, but then it hits the steady-state mathematical accuracy of 70% inherent to the linear algebra that powers all AI.
@esoteric-merit, you’re more familiar with this stuff, so I’m tagging you in. (Also you are both two of my favorite mutuals, now kiss interact)
Me and Quasi already interact a fair bit, actually. Yeah, there's an end problem where our current identification processes are all, when it comes down to it, complicated linear regression models. And no matter how good a regression model is, it has a theoretical maximum. Call it AI, or Neural Networks, or Machine Learning, it doesn't matter, they're all bound to the same limits. And that limit is low enough that . . . you would still be forcing people to watch torture & etc. all day. But it would *also* be bad enough to let tons of it slip through. So you get the worst of both worlds. The statistical tests that do provide better accuracy & precision, like, say, monitoring accounts that have posted it before, performing fuzzy hashes on known pieces of content and comparing those hashes to uploaded media, looking for certain words or tags popping up, are already being done in most places and never needed machine learning to enter the picture. There is an add'l problem in that once a machine would be in place, people would soon learn exactly what sneaks entirely past the machine and never gets flagged in the first place. With human moderators, you have to fool all of the (constantly updated) tag searching and account/IP monitoring, and a lot of stuff you can't actually get away from, and then a human might still see it, realize it's hiding from the system, and metaphorically pick up a log to reveal all the insects writhing beneath. Then they update all of their existing statistical tests, and another wave of stuff is removed without (much) human intervention anyways. . . . but once the machine is fooled, people can figure it out, even if only through superstition, and you've offloaded things onto the machine, and now it never self-corrects because you've removed the apparatus by which the system did so. So you need to review raw content *anyways*. So it can't even functionally act as a force-multiplier, because you already have a lot of force-multipliers, and the trouble is how quickly they're side-stepped. Which ML would be worse at. SO. THAT ALL SAID. You might still be seeing where it can be *part* of those force-multipliers, not trusted, but acts as one of the weights. And guess what? It's already been used like that for ages! A couple of decades now, to my knowledge. So I haven't been explaining why it can't be used, I've been explaining why it's not a magic bullet, and would still lead to our current situation, (and can't really meaningfully improve without an entire unforeseen paradigm shift in machine learning algorithms) . . . which I can state extremely confidently because it is in fact already part of our current situation.
Thank you, that was very informative!

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I came across the original video of the seagull meme! What a glorious day! I never realized it was a video, let alone a full throat and hearty evil villain laugh!
Based on the memes pics I thought it screamed bloody murder, not laugh like a cartoon villain 🤣