Untitled

Dear Liam,

I am now finally stable to bid you a goodbye one last time. Ever since the minute I have acknowledged that you're no more, time is passing painfully hard. I've known you for a little over 9 years. One Direction was my reason of happiness, and you were the reason I smiled everyday, you were the one who taught me to smile even in my hardest times. My heart aches while writing this post. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that you would be gone this soon. Just yesterday I was planning to make a playlist of your songs.

You were such a bundle of joy who brought happiness to so many people and healed so many. I know it sounds weird but you literally saved me, I wasn't in my best few years ago and had quite bad thoughts but your songs, words saved me. You're the reason I am alive and the fact that I couldn't ever thank you for it breaks my heart. I wish I was there for you during your hard times. I could've just hug you and would have never let you go. I love you so so much my Lima bean, it feels so damn hard to let you go.

Oh, what would I not do to bring you back. A part of me has died along with you, I can never ever be the same again. And the fact that one day I'll grow older than you shatters my heart into million pieces. My heart goes out to your son, Bear. I promise you we'll keep him safe. We'll never let any harm get to him. Liam, I love you so much I really do and I am so fucking sorry that I failed to protect you, I tried my best but I guess this is what destiny is. I guess this is what fate is.

The songs, the interviews, the music videos how am I supposed to watch and hear them again now that you're gone. It still feels like a dream that you're no more, it's just so hard to accept.

Happy 28th birthday Harold!!! U r growing up way too fast:'(