Day Without You

happy birthday my sweet.

i love you,

me

Happy Mother’s Day baby, wherever the hell you are. I know it’s a party there and you’re at the center of it all. Probably suggested it to the higher-ups, and they went with it.

A lot had transpired since I last wrote you. Both good and bad. Took Bella on vacation to Mexico. We constantly fought about anything and everything. “Put your music down. I can hear right through your Beats.” “You can…

Gabriel and Evan are having a blast. They both learned lighting for video. Okay, not all of lighting, but that has to do with reflections, highlights, shadows, casting, etc. They were assisting in creating a proof of concept. Simple execution, but tells a story. A short story. They didn’t even bother with my cameras or gear, good enough with an iPhone to film the action. As Rich says “We love to…

Really?

  There is a resemblance of a routine. Nothing crazy, but the going through the motions. Nothing fun. Nothing is fun anymore without you. I only write you because I need to tell you. I told you every day. I still want to tell you. I don’t want to ever stop. Until. That’s my fear.

I stare at the blinking cursor collecting my thoughts. My brain starts to write, my fingers are just keeping…

Does it hurt any more if you lose someone whom you’ve had a great marriage with, than someone who loses someone whom they didn’t? Less? Same hurt? I wonder.

Trish stopped by tonight. She’s in search of job in the entertainment and hospitality business. She said she loves putting events on or managing them. I’m going to see what I can do to help get her foot in the door somewhere within my…

We won three ADDY’s. Silver ADDY’s for the United Way outreach video. Not bad for a low budget video that the original script I wrote got butchered down to accommodate the budget we were working with. I had to butcher it. With help by you and Whitham. Our Art Director; at the time, Anna would chime in with an input or two. I listened to your ideas, they’d spark ideas. The storytelling has to make…

We got snowed in?

Gabriel and I went to the Flyers game tonight. Roads were clear. Wet, but clear. Nothing that bad that would cause people to go buy milk and white bread for. Hmmm… THE STORM OF THE CENTURY. I can imagine the reporters on the street magnifying everything.

I haven’t watched much TV in years. You and I would watch maybe an hour a night. If an hour. Dumb fucking content. Nothing…

Just fucking go for it. What do you have to lose? Why are we so fearful of the unknown? Some of the time the unknown is quite magical. But you wouldn’t know unless you try it. What’s the worst that could happen, what you’re doing now? Wish for the best, plan for the worst. Simple.

You were always the safe one. The cautious one. The unsure. “Don’t take the plunge too soon.” or “I Don’t trust him”…

She was okay, she wasn’t great, not up to your standards. I’m going to give her a second chance to prove me wrong. Mama recommended her. She said she’d do a good job at cleaning our house. It just doesn’t smell clean the way you used to make it smell.

You kept our house in a tiptop shape. You hired services to come once every two weeks, but you kept up with it. You were a freak when it came to…

Yesterday ended tough. It started okay. Andrea and an associate of hers met me at the studio. Andrea and I needed to catch up on things. I am so proud of her. I knew she’d be a superstar in our business. It was just a matter of time before she would explode. We were supposed to go out to a happy hour around the block, North 3rd. We sat, they were about to order drinks, me a bourbon. It fucking…

Not tonight baby. I’m not in the mood my love. I’m too tired. I’m too depressed. I’m working through it  I’ll be fine. I just need a break.

  Good night my sweet.

  I love you,

  me

Karma. I believe in Karma. I believe that Karma is made out of energy. You send out positive energy, Karma sends back waves at you. The opposite holds true. You fuck with someone, Karma will fuck you up sooner or later. They don’t say “Paybacks are a bitch” for nothing. That’s Karma at play.

I really try not to fuck with Karma. Every time I want to get even with someone, I stop myself. “Let Karma…

Day 22 Continued...

Today was one of the worst days for both Bella and me. Gabriel came home from school for his spring break. I had asked him to come home yesterday and stay over the weekend with us. Never knew that it was spring break until he just told me. A pleasant surprise to say the least. I’m thrilled he’s going to be home with us for a week.

Bella and I were going to go check out some kittens to adopt.…

Today was one of the worst days for both Bella and me. Gabriel came home from school for his spring break. I had asked him to come home yesterday and stay over the weekend with us. Never knew that it was spring break until he just told me. A pleasant surprise to say the least. I’m thrilled he’s going to be home with us for a week.

  Bella and I were going to go check out some kittens to adopt.…