I'VE MOVED!

SOMETHING CHILDISH PRODS AT HER   ——   a petulant swell for melodrama that she had been stranger to for,  seemingly years,  though she is aware that these past few months condensed have merely aged her into something colder.   a regression.   adelyn appraises through narrowed eyes,  lightly contemptuous,  mostly in jest.    she’s missed this.

❛   i don’t see why i bother coming round for tea if you’re just going to insist upon souring my mood.   ❜ 

OH,     HOW  SHE  FIGHTS      to resist the swell of laughter that threatens to shatter the marble of her facade.     still,     she lets a twinge of humor toy at the corner of her lips as she deliberately avoids the younger woman’s gaze. 

      THE  CASTING  OF  MORNING  LIGHT  ,       as  scattered  and  as  soft  as  her  mind .   there’s  a  curious  peace ,  something  she  hasn’t  felt  before ,  a  contentedness ,  or  maybe  just  a  lack  of  fear .  they  mirror  each  other ,  more  ways  similar  than  different ,  she  in  red ,  her  in  white .  they’re  spiders  meeting  in  the  same  web .  only  one  doesn’t  know  it  is  caught ,  nor  does  it  care .  and  maybe  she  should ,  she  should  hate  her ,  she  should  hate  her  father ,  she  should  hate  the  red  room .  she  should ,  she  should ,  she  should ,  and  yet  she  does  not .  instead  she  drinks  the  poison  handed  to  her ,  the  smell ,  sweet ,  the  taste ,  bitter . 

     ❛     i   should   …   i  should .   shouldn’t  i  ?      ——      you  deserve  to  be  despised  ?    ❜      she’s  unsure ,  a  question  pressed  against  her  teeth  in  an  attempt  to  bar  it  from  slipping  through .  yes ,  she  is  weak ,  and  here’s  the  proof .  

SILKEN  SKIN,     dipped in the honey of sunlight,       spread in subtle surrender upon soft sheets,      space shared as if the very act considers itself  FORBIDDEN    -------------    but the uncertainty of lena’s words nor natya’s own  REGRET  cannot wither the heart that beats its tune of  AFFECTION / INFATUATION  in her breast.

OF  LOVE  /  OF  DEATH.      tbh i’m not a fan ?      i tend to shy away from  ANY  oc that is tied to natya’s history in the red room,     simply because the origin story that most people stick to is the shitty  ‘ natasha was raised in the red room & none of it was consensual ‘  one.      that shit grinds my gears like nothing else.     BUT !!     i’m sure there are some really good red room OC’s out there.      as long as they don’t pull a dott.ie un.derwood and say their muse was  ‘ the first black widow ‘   or  ‘ the best that came out of the program ‘   ( since those are statuses that are  FUNDAMENTAL  to natasha’s character that,    if given to anyone else,     would completely undermine her.     no,  i’m not being dramatic )   i’m pretty okay with it.     there’s no denying that there were definitely many women aside from natasha in the red room,     both during her time there  ( one of 28 ),     &  afterwards   ——-    yelena was a student of the red room long after natasha,     along with many others as well.      HOWEVER,    i’m pretty sure that canon has made it clear at least twice  (  HOMECOMING (2004)*,     WIDOWMAKER (2011) )   that they’ve all been assassinated,      & natasha is the last surviving individual that was involved in the red room.    so …. yeah.

WIDOW, WIDOW.    cold - blooded,   warm - hearted.      ‘ i am love ‘   you say.    ‘ i am death ‘   you say.     ‘ i am all things you know you cannot understand. ‘     the one,   the first,   the only.    &  you are alone.

WOLF - WOMAN  /  WINTER - WOMAN.   she wears a smile like  KNIVES,     teeth glimmering in the shadow - brume that envelops them.      ❝     &  did you not  FOLLOW  this  cold,    unimaginable thing ?      ❞      a hand wrapped in  ICE  dares itself to thaw as it graces her lover’s cheek,     traversing the angle of bone & jaw.        her smile does waver for barely a moment,     for the coming & passing of a blizzard on land far above the smothering security of nav,      & morena leans close    ------------    cool kisses trailed along the path her fingers had just left.      ❝      do you not pine for her kisses ?     ❞     whispers,     whispers,     winning over the burning heart of a  WAIF  in her foreign land.      OH,  HE  IS  THE SUN,     & he is drowned in her waters,     frozen over ‘til he would steal her heart again.

❝     --------------------    YOU’RE  KIDDING  ME.      you have got to be  KIDDING  me.     ❞

The fucking ugly bitch.  I fantasise about what her blood would look like,  pooling out of her stupid cunt face.  I smile,  the gentleman I am,  giving her a kind laugh,  but it ends up sounding like the noise a pig makes when its arteries are severed.     ‘  I’m just trying to have a decent conversation,  honey.  I’m sure whatever you’ve done today was quite boring,  right?  ’     The stupid bitch.  I’m clearly mocking her,  but I doubt a hardbody like her would be able to figure that out.     ‘  I had  quite  the romp.  I work for Pierce & Pierce.  Have you heard of it?  ’

❝     WHATEVER  YOU’RE  DOING,     you’re not hiding it very well.      ❞       spoken over the brim of her glass before she takes a sip,      the words come flat,      yet surely  CLEAR  enough for her intended listener to hear.

ROMAN  WILSON.      first introduced in  AMAZING  ADVENTURES  #2  (1970 ),      roman was a world - famous film director with whom natasha had a very short - lived relationship.     short,    as in  …  one issue.      the two shared drinks & a kiss,     but nothing further came of it,     as natasha was still recovering from losing her husband alexei & ending her relationship with clint,     & couldn’t pursue anything with roman in good conscience.     she feigned a headache in the hopes that he would leave,     & he politely & understandingly did so.     he was one of many wealthy men that natasha had short / superficial / physical relationships with in the 1970′s.      

❝        i've  got  the  tendency  to  constantly  pay  for  my  mistakes .        ❞