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published my first ever problematic dead dove fic recently..... the way I'm obsessed with the way its written. "who wrote this," I say, holding a trophy, "I will give them this trophy for making me go āā½ā"
in the process of publishing a lot of stuff I wrote in the past year on ao3. not feeling too great atm, but in the mood to finish all these wips so yeah. I'm alive
Hello! Do you by any chance take writing commissions or do collaborations?
I mean... I wouldnāt say NO to the first (DM me! Maybe we can work something out?). Not sure about collaborations, though. Iām a bit too overworked at the moment to commit.
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Hi! Just wanna say I adore ur mdzs fics and especially how u write JC and WWX. You made me ship JC and LWJ! I hope u continue ur mononoke au, I think itās the best thing this fandom has birthed (although I totally understand if u donāt plan on continuing it). Have a great day!
sorry for the late response, thank you so much! mononoke au was just for stress relief and was never intended to be continued, but Iām glad you enjoyed it :)
canāt make up my mind about ffviir. i wasnāt really feeling it in the beginning, but i warmed up to it eventually. it was fun. still dunno if i thought it was objectively good though.
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āI donāt understand how people do NaNoWriMo,ā I foolishly said a week earlier.Ā āItās impossible. How do people write that fast,ā I questioned, and proceeded to write 30k in 6 days
Sometimes I will see other fic creators call a ficĀ āself indulgentā, orĀ āsomething no one else would want to readā. I literally say this all the time now, and now Iām like. Hmm. I didnāt used to say this before, and I donāt think my writing process has changed overly much.
Still, the feeling while Iām writing has changed? It went fromĀ āI like this idea and I will write itā toĀ āI like this idea, and maybe other people wonāt but thatās fineā to āI like this idea but WOW, I wouldnāt even want to read thisā
Anyway, calling somethingĀ āself-indulgentā may be a self-defense tactic for me to protect myself if a fic does not exceed expectations in terms of viewership. And maybe I finally understand those people who are likeĀ āthe more fics I write, the more unconfident I get about my writingā
The point of this all is, I am so unsure of my AU concept that Iām probably going to need a beta eventually. This is very stupid because I have literally written the exact AU concept before with no problems. And as someone who despises editing and hearing concrit, Iām very confused by this.
Below is just me rambling about problems:
Biggest problem right now is that since I technically invented this trope, I got a lot of comments last fic about how it was confusing or difficult to understand as I jumped into story and dialogue and stuff. The lore is also more complicated in this fic, so by attempting to fix it, I added a shit ton of exposition in the beginning, which is frankly never a good idea. And now I canāt figure out whether it flows well or not. So chapter 1 is being a problem child.
Secondary issue is that characters are intentionally OOC, and itās giving me whiplash. On one hand, I love it. On the other hand, I feel like other people are Not Going To Vibe With It, and now Iām confused as to whether I need to care about this or not, because LWJ and JC are the only reasons why I am writing this
and
are both passages that Iām just staring at like, yes, this is right. But also, this is wrong.
Final very minor issue is that this is yet another ot3 fic but Iāve betrayed myself. Itās not zhancheng and I am quaking. I want to zhancheng to happen. I want zhancheng to happen but I literally cannot make it happen without compromising my many attachments to vanilla fic tropes. Curse this! I like zhancheng better than wangxian or chengxian! Why! Am I! Even writing this!
i think i should have expected it, but the amount of people on the aro side of the spectrum who have come back to tell me that they connected to newest fic on a personal level really surprised me
like of course objectively I know that my experiences arenāt unique to myself. but while I know plenty of bi/gay/pan/ace/etc people, Iāve yet to meet anyone IRL thats confirmed to me that theyre aro. And aro representation in media exists, but itās always a side character. Iāve yet to see an aro main character who actually stays aro through the course of canon (moreover, Iāve actually yet to see an aro character that isnāt also ace in media, but thats beside the point as isnāt really applicable to me). So itās been a bit isolating on my side.
the whole point of writing wwx was to make sure that he figured his sexuality out by himself, because thereās no one around him thatās like him. he doesnāt really talk to other people about the subject either. I guess I got a bit caught up in that mindset of āhaving to figure these things out by myselfā so when I started getting comments, the staggering amount of people that came to sayĀ āI understand this! I connect with this personally! Iām like this too!ā it shooketh me in a good way
like I wrote this essentially as a writing exercise and an excuse to depict an aro character; that people actually found genuine validating content in it was very heartening and surprising
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new fic is up and ao3 is down but i said it wasnāt going to be more than 15k and that i would definitely finish it within a week and im a man of my word
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