don't tell me to smile

Hearing the tone in Victoria’s voice, the blonde couldn’t help but form a small smile on her lips. She needed and wanted to know more about Christian’s relationship with Victoria. He was holding back and the two usually didn’t press on each other, but she made it a mental note to herself to do so. “Mmhmm” Was all lucy could say and kept her arms folded across her chest. “You sure about that?” She wasn’t a detective, but her ex boyfriend used to be so she picked up some of his tips and tricks. Taking a deep breath, she smiled softly again and nodded her head “That’s what he told me, and now you’re telling me but—” Stopping herself, Lucy nodded her head and Victoria’s next answer “Oh is the client okay i hope?”

“What does that mean?” Victoria raised an eyebrow. There was obviously something Lucy wanted to say to her. She was trying to not talk about her relationship right now. Not talking was what she did best. “If you have something you want to say just say it or rather ask? I’m a lawyer. I know the game.” She didn’t beat around the bush. “Yea, family stuff. She’s fine.” 

   Jamie had his headphones in, hands in his pockets has he made his way down the street. He had gotten his business partner to take over the restaurant and had called it a day. Jamie did not have anything planned for the next few hours and so decided to make his way downtown, he was lost in his music a bit when someone ran into him. “Are you okay?” he asked taking off one of his headphones has he looked at the other. 

Victoria pushed her hair out of her face when she heard the other person talk. “I’m fine.” She told him and fixing her skirt. “You don’t happen to know where I can get a good salad around here? This place is failing me in that aspect. Why is it so hard to find one?” Victoria was just rambling thoughts out at this point. She shook her head and pulled herself back together. 

Christian sat quietly while Victoria pulled out and scrolled through her phone.  He had no idea what she was getting at or what she was going to show him, but he knew enough to give her the space to say what she wanted and needed.  His mouth fell open when she turned the phone around and all he could see on the screen was a tiny Victoria with the exact same smile and eyes.  Christian sucked in his breath and waited for her to continue.  Christian felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.  So he could only imagine how Victoria was feeling or had felt.  He nodded along as she spoke even though there was so much to unpack in everything she was sharing.  Once she finished, Christian pushed his chair back from the table and stood up, closing the space between them.  Christian tightly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest.  “Now, I know,” he repeated back.  He couldn’t apologize for what she had gone through because he knew it would mean nothing, and he couldn’t tell her that he understood because he didn’t.  He had never been a father.  

Watching as his mouth dropped she nodded. “I know it’s scary she was my mini-me but the nice version of me. The one who would save a spider and put it outside. Cry if she stepped on an ant. Ask if she could cuddle me when she saw I was having a rough day.” Victoria had never been that way but Morgan was so gentle with everything. Watching as Christian got up she stepped back. She didn’t want to go through this right now. Knowing as soon as he would touch her she would be a goner. Yet, here he was wrapping his arms around here. Victoria buried her face into him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. At this point she was crying and just the sounds of her sniffles filled the room. 

To say that Victoria was intimidating was an understatment. Victoria gave off vibes that Lucy only wished she could give off. The professional, yet subtle. However, Lucy was a hot damn mess and for good reason. Though she liked Victoria, the woman scared her a little but Victoria was someone Lucy wanted to get to know on a work level. Taking a deep breath, she smirked and than nodded her head “Yes. Christian is actually one of my favorite people.” It was true, Christian was one of her favorite people, and one of her favorite people to work with. Raising her eyebrows at the blondes next question, Lucy couldn’t help but laugh “Nothin. Just that you’re grate and you two were really good friends in college.” She said, folding her arms across her chest now. Lucy starred at her for a moment “So, what are you here for today?” 

Victoria nodded as Lucy spoke. “Oh really?” She raised an eyebrow. Victoria didn’t get jealous she was just being Victoria about things. “That’s the only correct answer.” She smirked. “Yeah, we met in college.” It had been years from college to when they met up again though. “I’m meeting with a client, a doctor, i’ve been working with.” 

t was strange that after their hostile start Breanne found herself agreeing with the woman. She didn’t verbally express it though, not yet. She was kind of stuck on this ‘we’re not getting along’ impression. “It is. That’s why I’m doing it. I want to help the earth and this just spoke to me.”  She didn’t need to have an attitude, but it was there. Her tone landed somewhere between a strong sense of pride, egotistical, and informative.

Victoria was too much of an asshole to really dig deep into many other peoples lives. “Whatever speaks to you in the direction you should go.” That sounded way too upbeat for her. “If you ever need a lawyer for anything involving that just let me know.” That was more like her. 

“I have no idea because you never talk about anything like that,” Christian mumbled as he stared down at his dinner.  “I have never once asked you to be that same person because God knows, I’m not,” he added glancing around at her before looking down at the table.  He sighed when she mentioned the papers would be finalized in a few weeks, and she had been working to plan something for them.  It was such a likely excuse, but Christian didn’t want to argue.  “Yeah….uh….okay,” he nodded.  Maybe it was better to simply let it go at this point.  

Victoria sighed. It wasn’t fair to Christian that she kept herself locked up. He wasn’t Lydia, he wasn’t some random person she was just getting to know. Victoria knew him she knew how great he was and always had been. “Fine you want to know? You want to know what changed me?” She took a deep breathe. Pulling out her phone she unlocked it and paused. Her hand started to shake a bit but she ignored it. She looked through her phone and found a picture of Morgan with her blonde hair and bright blue eyes. A mini me of Victoria. Turning the phone to show Christian she paused before talking her stomach in complete knots. Victoria didn’t talk about Morgan to anyone. “She changed me....” She looked down. “That’s my baby. My beautiful baby. Morgan...” She paused and tried to compose herself from crying. “She died when she was 5. Just a few weeks before her sixth birthday.” Victoria felt the tears coming down her face. “Morgan had cancer. She fought until the very end. She died in my arms. My entire world died in my arms.” Victoria wiped her eyes. “So yeah. I changed.....I’ve never been the same. It broke my marriage and we never recovered from it.” The pain of that day still haunts her. “I never really wanted kids. Never really considered myself to be the mother type but Morgan changed all of that. I became one of those moms who was at every single recital, practice, everything. Losing her... it changed me. So....now you know.”

Hearing how she wasn’t a fan of hospitals, Lucy nodded towards the blonde. The surgeon didn’t know Victoria well enough to press her, though maybe she could get some information out of Christian. Smiling softly to herself now, Lucy took a deep breath and than shook her head “Christian’s a very good friend of mine. Mentioned you in passing.”

Victoria watched Lucy she was a great observer. Over the years she watched as people crumbled in front of her. Seeing how people reacted was part of her job. “Did he now?” She raised an eyebrow. More of a rhetorical question then anything. “What did he say about me?” 

“I couldn’t agree more with you.” Lucy said while smiling, and the blonde took a deep breath. Now she knew that Christian and Victoria knew each other from college, the thirty-three year old wondered if she should bring it up. “Oh?” She questioned as Victoria said she wish she wasn’t here at all. “I did know that. So, you know Christian?”

“I’m not exactly a fan of hospitals.” She told the other women. Hoping she would leave it at that. Although, Victoria was great at dodging the question as to why. “Yeah...” She tilted her head. “Why do you ask?” 

Christian rolled his eyes as she spoke.  He was annoyed.  More than annoyed honestly the more she spoke about their current situation.  “Does anything matter to you?” he snapped as he pulled out his chair and sat down at the table.  “Oh wait, pissing off your assistants for sure and being difficult.  We are grown ups.  I want an adult relationship,” he insisted before taking a breath.  Christian reached to pick up his fork.  He had no idea where this wave of emotion had come from.  Maybe because he didn’t want a repeat of past history?  He wasn’t sure.  “And why is it that you two haven’t managed to do that yet?” Christian asked.  “If it isn’t that complicated.”

Watching as he rolled his eyes she shook her head at him. “What?” She raised an eyebrow. “That is not fair. Yes, there are things that matter to me. You matter to me. You have no idea what i’ve been through these last few years. I’m not that same girl you met in college. I’m just... not. And if you can’t handle that then that’s on you.” Victoria didn’t change herself for anyone. She definitely built up a wall around herself. It wasn’t always this bad though not until more recently. It was really to protect herself from having to let people in and get hurt again. “I want an adult relationship. That’s all i’ve ever wanted with you.” Victoria sighed and took a big sip of her wine. “Because you idiot. I wanted to surprise you. But you ruined it. We sit down in two weeks to sign the papers. I was going to surprise you with a trip away just the two of us.” 

Being here a year now, Lucy knew almost everyone who came in and out of the hospital. It was one of the perks of being a trauma surgeon. She got to know the faces and names pretty quick. Victoria’s was one of them. She smiled softly at the older woman and shook her head “Good coffee. Roberta’s is better than the Cafeteria coffee. I promise.” She reassured Victoria and than sighed ‘No, not unfortunate. I don’t.. I don’t know if I ever introduced myself. I mean, you probably know me as Dr.Baker but you can call me Lucy.“

“Okay, fine. Anything is better than the cafeteria coffee.” Victoria could not believe she was saying that because there was coffee that still did not deserve to be called that. “It’s definitely unfortunate. I wish I wasn’t here at all.” If it wasn’t for Christian she wouldn’t be there. “I’m Victoria but you already know that.” 

“Then make her an offer she can’t refuse so she will come to Salem and support you,” Christian shrugged as he grabbed silverware and then poured them each a glass of wine.  The solution seemed simple to him, and he wasn’t sure why Victoria wasn’t seeing it that way.  Christian shook his head as Victoria spoke about her current marriage and divorces.  “I’m not worried about your divorce count,” he told her as he sat down at the table.  “I was never worried about that.  Who cares?  It’s just a number.  I’m talking about how I have to avoid the subject of you around town because I have no idea what to say,” he admitted.  

“Smart, I just don’t know if the firm can afford that kind of offer. I’ll figure something out.” In New York the assistants got a lot more money then they would here but she could try to figure something out. Listening to him she nodded. “Good.” Victoria was worried about that. She was thankful that he didn’t push about why her and Andrew got divorced. She knew one day she would have to explain everything but it hurt and she wasn’t wanting to do that right now. “You don’t have to avoid the subject of me. Just tell them we are dating if it’s that complicated. I’m getting divorced so it doesn’t exactly matter if we are dating or not. Lydia and I don’t have children, don’t have a house. We just need to both sit down and sign the divorce papers.” 

“i can certainly try.” harper had always been a trier - but that didn’t always mean that it had paid off. the need to be an overachiever had given her that much. “kennedy abrams - do you know what she looks like?” there was only so much she could do with just a name. “i’m sorry, i’m new here so i’ve not quite got my head around who everyone is and what they do yet. but i can at least help you look? save you wandering around alone in a place you’re not comfortable.”

Victoria thought the chief of staff would know all of the doctors but apparently not. “I haven’t met her yet. I was told she’s brunette, short and wearing a lab coat.” That wasn’t exactly a great description but it was the one she was given. “That would be great. Don’t want to be here any longer than I need to be.” 

Closed starter  for @victoriaquinn​

 Nick had known Victoria. He had known Victoria for quite some time now. Sure being in Salem for two years helped, but he knew Victoria and became friendly with her. She was a piece of work, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. They had been through similar situations. They didn’t talk about it, but when they did Nick felt for her. He knew the pain she was going through. He was meeting her at the hospital on a coffee brake. Handing her the cup he had ordered, Nick looked at the woman and smiled softly “Hope it’s just how you like it. I tried." 

Victoria had met Nick a while ago. Prior to being in Salem and they connected over something terrible. The thing Victoria did not talk about but it connected them in a strange way. When he handed her the coffee she looked at it. “It better be right.” She raised an eyebrow at him and took a sip. “Okay, you pass this time.” She set the cup down. “How do people work here. I just don’t get it. I have three clients in this hospital and I just want to leave.” 

Harlow should have paid better attention to what she was doing. She would have not gotten a door to her face otherwise. “ Yea, I am fine. “ Harlow spoke as she took a step back from the door to look at the woman who had hit her. “Just a little bump, nothing to major. “ Harlow added getting footing back. “It was my own fault, I was not paying attention. “

Victoria was thankful the girl was okay. At least now she wouldn’t be faced getting sued. The sad fact that, that was the first thing that came to her mind in this situation. “Next time you should pay attention. Maybe, a door won’t hit you in the face.” She suggested. 

child loss tw, cancer tw, death tw

Frannie narrowed her eyes but she looked wryly amused. “Head cheerleader,” she answered, tilting her chin up. She actually scoffed at Victoria’s next comment. “I don’t want to analyze you much, I’d rather find out things because you tell me about them. But you don’t seem to be able to do it. Do you?” She said, raising an eyebrow. “Alright then, I’ll see what I can do, but it won’t hurt if you do the interviews yourself. As I said, it’ll save us time and money.”

“Head cheerleader, my bad.” Victoria smirked. She was absolutely assumed by this conversation. “I guess to each their own.” It was entertaining her in some weird way. “Oh, good luck with that. I don’t share much with people. I have no problem sharing with people I just don’t think people need to know certain things about me.” What she meant was she didn’t want people bringing it up to her. “Fine, I will do the interviews myself.” 

“If you are cruel to them, they won’t want to work for you or with you.  And they certainly won’t do anything extra,” he pointed out to her even though her mind was already made up.  He sighed and focused on the food as she repeated the same lines she had been feeding him.  Maybe he was getting frustrated.  Maybe it was because Victoria had always made him step out of his comfort zone, but maybe this wasn’t and couldn’t be enough.  “What do you want?” he challenged as he set their plates at the table.  

“I miss my assistant from New York. Just need someone like her here.” Victoria knew what he was saying but really it was going in one ear and out the other. When he asked what she wanted she was taken back for a minute. Not expecting him to say that to her. She paused for a minute and looked at him. “I want to be with you.” She knew that, that much she knew. “I’m not afraid of commitment if that’s what you’re asking. Just because I cheated on Lydia doesn’t mean anything. I was married to Andrew for nine years. I should’ve never married Lydia we both knew it wasn’t go work.” She reassured him. Victoria sighed and walked over to him. “Listen, I know it seems like a lot. It is a lot... two divorces. It’s a lot.” She didn’t like it either. “I never exactly planned on leaving Andrew. If we hadn’t....” Victoria paused. Thoughts of Morgan crossed her mind and she tried to block them out. “It just didn’t work out. It’s complicated.”