Look, I read. A Lot. The dozen-books-a-week type. Except my bestie introduced me to free fanfic online amid highschool, which is both free and requires no rushing to the library before they close. So. Between classic-definition Epics and endless one-shots and everything in between? Yeah. I read A Lot. This is for That Sort of stuff. Prompts, ficlets, recs, headcannons, and of course Analyses Galore, of everything from fanfic to comics to novels and historic media. 99.9% reblogs, ofc.
Do not mess with the Boss, she is not a patient woman.
Finally finished this piece for my Mob AU where Tim never became Robin, Darla doesn’t die, and Bernard is a ride or die friend. They’re going to fix Gotham gang problem from the inside, whatever it takes.
@arduosjester He blackmails Batman with his secret identity so he doesn’t go after Darla once he starts getting to close to capturing them so I guess yes?? 😅
Also I love that Darla is both Boss and the only one splattered in blood, presumably because she just beat the snot out of the mook we are being shown the POV from.
No leading from behind, hands clean, for THIS Boss. XD
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QQQ: What are you talking about?! We can literally see a whole group of ghosts clinging to him with the bare eye!
WQW: I tested him with every sword, he’s not—
LQG: Well if he’s not possessed then what is this?
YQY: Don’t worry Xiao-Jiu, I’m sure we’ll figure out how to fix this….
SQQ: Do NOT call me—
MQF: Hey hey hey let’s all stay calm… please…
SQQ: I am calm.
MQF: Shen shixiong—
YQY: Xiao-Jiu—
QQQ: And what’s up with you, ah? You can barely keep your babbling mouth shut most of the time and all of a sudden you’re quiet as a mouse.
All eyes turned to Shang Qinghua. All of them carried expectant gazes like he could magically fix this bizarre situation. A very strange group of ghosts had made their way onto Cang Qiong Mountain. They were neither malicious nor resentful; actually they didn’t really do anything but stick to Shen Qingqiu. It was truly a strange sight to behold. They were almost entirely white in color, faces distorted or gone entirely, bodies far too small and dressed in the simplest of garments.
They looked like children who had died before they even understood the concepts of life and death and their identities. Well, they looked like that because that’s exactly what they were.
SQQ: You do know something don’t you? Spit it out already, you rat!
SQH: Ah— that— so I— Shen Shixiong, they’re harmless I promise!
YQY: Shang shidi, if you know how to resolve this…
SQH: Oh no. No no no. Let’s just— let’s just wait and see? They really are harmless so—
SQQ: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Just wait and see?
MQF: Shang shidi, please.
SQH: how about we don’t…
LQG, QQQ & SQQ: Shang Qinghua!
SQH: Okay, look. You won’t like what I know about them and it doesn’t really help to get rid of them anyway so how about we—
SQQ: Spit. It. Out.
SQH: Okay okay okay but you gotta promise to not kill me!
SQQ: …
SQH: Promise!
SQQ: Urgh I promise. Now talk.
SQH: Well, okay, so… I can’t— I don’t really remember what they’re called right now but… I have actually, unfortunately encountered them before. They really are harmless. These ghosts they… stem from children who died very young. Like really young. Usually in slow, brutal ways… torture, assault, those things…. All they really do is cling to each other for comfort and flow from place to place.
The room stayed quiet for a moment.
SQQ: And? Why are they sticking to me?
SQH: That— I— You really don’t want me to say it, Shixiong…
If a gaze could kill.
SQH: Allright, fine. Don’t blame me. Sometimes… they’ll consider living people one of their own and kling to them. Only difference being, the living person survived the kinds of things that killed them…
Then, with a sigh and a sudden thwack the fan flew open.
SQQ: Very funny, Shang-shidi. Extraordinarily funny.
SQH: What— no I—
An awkward chuckle sounded quietly from somewhere in the room, quickly enticing others to follow.
SQQ: Does anyone have something to say that isn’t utter inappropriate nonsense?
SQH: Hey it’s not—
QQQ: Oh please. This nonsense isn’t believable for even a second, let alone funny. With Shen Qingqiu of all people?
LQG: Pampered lordling…
YQY: Ah, yes. Yes. Shang-shidi please don’t make such jokes. It’s inappropriate…
SQH: Im not joking, that’s what they are!
SQQ: Well obviously your knowledge is incomplete or entirely wrong then. You were right with it being entirely useless for this predicament though, I’ll give you that much.
SQH: Hey!
QQQ: who knows maybe they smell all the girls you abused on you and got confused…
A fist slammed on the table, cracking the intricately carved decorations at its edge, snuffing out any murmured conversation in the room in an instant.
Unsurprisingly the meeting had immediately devolved into a screaming match until the peak lords all stormed off back to their peaks, huffing and puffing, nose turned to the sky high enough it made Shang Qinghua worry they'd catch the rain in them. The three ghosts continued to kling to Shen Qingqiu.
Unwilling to endure this humiliation even a second longer than absolutely unavoidable, he had stormed right into Qing Jing Peak's library in search of any records even so much as barely resembling his predicament.
And so, the scholar had delegated all his classes of the day to hall masters and senior disciples to teach in his stead, locking himself in the bamboo house to study the piles and piles of texts he had gathered.
Night time had long since arrived when he heard suspicious movement in the bamboo grove that doubled as his back garden.
Slamming the wooden sliding door open, he made eye contact with a rat. This particular one may have been capable of human language, although in limited capacity, but it was a rat nonetheless.
SQQ: What are you doing here and why the hell are you dressed like a thief?
SQH: Ah! Shen-shixiong! I–
Xiu Ya's cold metal against the rat's neck made it squeal like the filthy rodent it was.
SQH: You PROMISED not to kill me! It's your own fault okay?!
SQQ: That nonsense is not the reason these things are clinging to me, is that clear?
A beat.
SQH: Of course not, shixiong.
After another moment Shen Qingqiu finally lowered his blade.
SQQ: Now, why are here? And why are you dressed like that?
SQH: I figured you wouldn't want anyone to see me coming here...? Well that and... you still want to get rid of them. Right?
Back in the bamboo house two cups of tea stood on the low teable between them. Shang Qinghua on one side, Shen Qingqiu with three ghost sticking to him on the other.
SQQ: Well?
Shen Qingqiu took a slow sip from his cup, gaze unyielding as his shidi shrunk under it.
SQQ: You came to talk, so talk. I want to be rid of these things as fast as possible.
As if the atrocious posture hadn't been bad enough, the rat began to fidget with the hems of its dirty, ink stained sleeves.
SQH: Uh so... I mean... if you want as fast as possible you can always just cut them down with Xiu Ya... not like they'd even try to evade. I'm honestly surprised you haven't tried that already.....
Another glare, another squeal.
SQH: So, uh, yeah. Just– just cut them down and they'll fall apart immediately. They can barely hold on as is. That's why they're so rare in the first place... There won't even be enough of their minds left to receive Meng Po's soup.... so you'll definitely one hundred percent be rid of them.
Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes after another sip, taking a deep, carful breath as he savored the taste of the tea, suppressing the urge to flip the table onto the rat and kick it out back into the cold where it belonged.
SQQ: Any other methods?
Now it was the rat's turn to sigh.
SQH: The way I understand it, the reason they can't move on is because they don't even fully comprehend that they're dead. All they know is that they're hurt and scared.
SQQ: So what does Shang-shidi propose this master does exactly?
SQH: Just... treat them like your kids for a while?
SQQ: Excuse me?
SQH: Just long enough for them to relax. Once they're not busy thinking about all the scary things that could happen to them anymore, they should be able to remember all the things that already did. Once they realize they're already dead they should be able to move on...eventually.
Shen Qingqiu could already feel the headache coming on. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers.
SQQ: Shang Qinghua. That is....
SQH: Cruel. I know.
SQQ: There has to be another way. Where is this information even coming from? This master was not able to find anything useful in the library. You must at least remember what they're called given how much you've managed to study about them.
SQH: That... I... I didn't study them... not really. It's mostly...personal experience.
Shen Qingqiu made no move react so Shang Qinghua continued:
I've been in the same situation as shixiong before... Many years ago.
All these long silences were seriously beginning to negatively influence Shang Qinghua's health. Please, shixiong! Do something! Anything! The suspense was truly on the verge of becoming lethal, even for a cultivator.
SQQ: So you have never encountered any written records about them?
SQH: Ah, well, no, I have. They were just like, really short. I gave the research up super fast and freestyled the whole thing… didn't really have much of a choice to be fair… The one paper that at least had a visual description called them opal something… I think.
SQQ: Opal…
At that, the peak lord suddenly rose to sift through the mountains of scrolls and books he had surrounded his work desk with. The three ghosts still clung to his robes, tiny fists grabbing had fulls of the silks as they continued to float around the man as closely as they could.
SQQ: Opal eyed— Opal eyed hauntlings.
SQH: Yeah! That's the one.
SQQ: I will not be calling them that.
SQH: Ah—
Furiously the man grabbed his brush, ink still fresh with the help of a stasis talisman, and began to copy the short scroll. Once content with his work, he stomped back to the low table Shang Qinghua still occupied and slammed the new scroll right in the middle. The old one was flung unceremoniously into the fire. He continued after he finally plopped back into his seat and swallowed the last sip of tea he had abandoned for his little outburst.
SQQ: Opal eyed children.
Shang Qinghua couldnt help but smile.
SQH: Ah, yes. Shixiong is right. That sounds much better.
(Note, this is me posting my drafts, I made this while at grad practice and I'm just finishing this now www)
Svsss SnakeCum au
(me indulging in my urge to write size difference yaoi)
An au in which Shen Yuan is a gorgon-type creature
(lower body of a snake, wings, snake hair that type. Well in my au their hair is normal hair that turns into snakes when they're feeling strong emotions.)
Anyways so he's huge and he mainly frequents the abyss except for transmigration reasons he sort of somehow ends up in the human realm. He wakes up in some sort of church and finds out that his identity is that of the child of an infamous demonic-gorgon that was banished to the abyss after terrorising humans and amassing a fuckton of followers in a cult-like manner. It was a scrapped side plot of PIDW, dropped in favor of a snake wife papapa scene.
Anyways so his mom(?) dad(?) snake parent(?) kinda gave birth and dipped, so Shen Yuan isn't really known by anyone in the abyss (which is good because his parent had quite a few enemies. I guess leaving was their way of protecting him?) so nobody really cares when he suddenly disappears. (summoned to the human realm by some ancient technique passed down the generations of worshippers.)
Luckily he looks really similar to his parent so when the people that summon him pull out the ancient paintings of SY's parent to compare it to him it matches up almost exactly—albeit the painting being obviously more mature—and they take Shen Yuan in as their little Godling. Which is weird but also a win for SY because not only is he not getting hunted down, he's sheltered, given permanent residency, and he has an unshakable status! For someone who's just transmigrated into the body of a demon-child (he's actually a demonic teen so think like 16-17) it's a definite win for him!
Anyways so his inherited cult-village just so happens to be the one that houses Luo Binghe—or well, the washerwoman that saves him. Considering the fact that nobody has heard of a Luo Binghe Shen Yuan assumes that he hasn't been born yet, and lightbulb moment, he decides that he'll raise the protagonist this time! He's a demon so he can probably help Luo Binghe embrace his demon side and spare the poor boy the suffering that Shen Qinqiu'll inflict on him.
He's just not sure how behind he is in the plot. That is until he meets THE TLJ. He looked extremely similar to all of the merchandise of Luo Binghe, except instead of the narrowed eyes filled with seductive arrogance and the bitterness of a boy wronged by the world, his eyes carried this sense of playful domesticity, a warm thing that basked in the warmth of infatuation.
Tianlang-Jun and a woman who Shen Yuan could only assume was Luo Binghe's mom judging by the resemblance of her and the illustrations of white lotus Luo Binghe that Shen Yuan recalled. The couple seemed to be just passing through, however upon entry to the village both seemed to know what Shen Yuan was and instead took it upon themselves to visit the church.
Tianlang-Jun seemed to recognize Shen Yuan—or well, at least he seemed to recognize who his parent was. He treated Shen Yuan like an old friend—what else could Shen Yuan do but return the hospitality, nevermind his internal fanboying about this man that reminded him of the stallion protagonist he'd followed throughout the years, and this refreshing side that he'd never seen Luo Binghe display made him quite friendly. (He knows they're not the same person but he sees LBH in TLJ and thus his fanboying is transferred guh)
They were... much more easy to get along with than SY had initially assumed. Tianlang-Jun was much more easygoing, much more playful than Shen Yuan expected from the father of Luo Binghe. Su Xiyan, a name he'd learned as the couple interacted with him, was much more down to earth. She still had that air of wild reckless youth, the type of feeling you had when you were doing something you knew you weren't supposed to be doing but you didn't care.
Surprisingly Shen Yuan found that rather than the parents of the protagonist, he was more interested in the half-snake child that'd tagged along with them. He was small and Shen Yuan assumed he was younger than him. Shen Yuan hadn't seen another snake demon before, and he found himself intrigued with this small child. (Imagine his surprise at finding out that not only is ZZL the same age as him, but he's slightly also older than him by a few months.)
-—
FINALLY POSTING THIS, I wanted 2 write an actual ending but I got a little tired of struggling w/ this lolol
I think Hal would actually adjust faster to being in the Batfamily (in the context of getting with Bruce) because he grew up with brothers, and did just about everything Mom Jessica Jordan did when her boys got rowdy
Dick and Tim are arguing over who messed up what during a recon mission while Hal is nearby, clearly nursing space-lag? Hal stomps over, slams a knife between them and glares at them hard, daring them to say something, and they meekly apologize to each other before stalking off
Cass whining "JASON CALLED ME A DUMBASS 😡" and instead of asking Jason to apologize, Hall tells her "Okay???? Do you want suggestions on what to call him back? Call him a motherfucker then" without even looking up from what he's doing, and it stuns both Jason and Cass that they both forget what they were fighting about
Damian whining about not being able to go out with his older siblings on a mission to a bar despite having had a few sips of bear and age restrictions are a fascist invention!!, and Hal just tells him "And why would you want to go to a cave full of stds?" and Damian actually goes "you know what? I never thought of it that way"
A few months with Hal living in the manor, the family had never been more amicable and (relatively) more behaved
Bruce has started calling Hal a divine blessing, a gift from heaven, an angel of light.
But the kids know.
They are afraid (and begrudgingly respectful) of Mom Hal Jordan.
Tim was expecting Jason to be clueless and it turns out that at least 40% of Red Hood's goons are queer and two third of them are trans, go go supportive crime lord Jason Todd!!!
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conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 49 (masterpost here)
Tim: -did not enjoy it, like at all. shitty party.
Dick: that's why i didn't go! i don't care if he lives in some mystical underwater kingdom; that doesn't mean Aquaman knows how to throw a decent rager.
Jason: what was the party even for, again?
Tim: *straining sounds* man this door will not budge-- uh, i think it was the anniversary of the first assembly of the Justice League.
Jason: oh; ugh. yeah i wouldn'a gone either.
Dick: by the way, Red, your tracker says you're not even at the shipping container you're meant to be searching. what door are you opening?
Tim, confused: what? you said it was the seventh one down, right?
Dick: no man, eleventh. you gotta keep going.
Tim: w- *exasperated huff* i've been at this one for the past fifteen minutes and you didn't say?!
Dick: i didn't realise you were trying to open it!
Tim: *groan* *annoyed scuff of boots* man you are fucking- you suck at playing Oracle. there's fucking two of you and you're still shitter than O on her own.
Jason: in my defence i take the term 'playing Oracle' very loosely. i dunno what Dick's been doing, but i haven't looked at the batcomputer once since i came down here. i'm just here to hang out and play Pokémon on Damian's switch.
Dick: yeah- isn't he gonna be super pissed that you're messing with his save file while he's on patrol?
Jason: nah, 's a fight he can't get past. told me to beat it for 'im.
Dick, fond: aww, i used to do that with Mario levels and B!
Tim: Hood, you aren't even injured. i get Wing playing Oracle, but the fuck're you staying at the manor for?
Jason: unlike you people i understand the concept of giving myself a break every now and then. it's self care to stay behind sometimes,
Tim, flat: ok you literally kill people on a weekly basis, how can you think you have the authority on mental health here?
Jason, wisely: if the only case against me you have is the simple fact that i take human life, then you have no case at all.
Tim: ...i cannot believe that that is an actual sentence you just said.
Dick: *snort*
Tim: ...ok is this the container?
Dick: uhhh- hold on let me tab back in i was on etsy-
Jason: *snicker*
Dick: yeah you good. you know i've been to a couple parties to do with the JL, and i gotta say they always disappoint.
Tim: right?! like, for a group of superheroes you guys are fucking boring. where's the magic 'n shit cause i know you have access to it.
Jason: oh yeah, being in this business is way less magical than it seems.
Tim: i was honestly so disappointed when i realised that; like i had a bucket list.
Dick, laughing lightly: you had a bucket list?
Tim: a bucket list, which i kept in my phone calendar-
Jason: *abrupt laugh* that's such a shit place to keep one!
Tim: yeah man- after i got knighted as Robin i picked a date like a year later, and I had a list of cool magic shit i wanted to experience before that date. let me tell you--didn't get to do shit.
Jason, snickering: *a drawl* yeeeeeah, Gotham in the post-golden era? that's gotta be disappointing.
Tim: closest i got to was when i got to do the cool time travel scavenger hunt after B got lost. and even then, i didn't get to do half of the cool things i wanted to do. i wanted indiana jones type shit, and all i got was fucking--criminal minds, or something. there is so much cocaine in this shipping container, by the way.
Jason, absent: shoulda' taken some of that to Aquaman's party.
Dick: *snort* yeah i remember having things like that. my favourite moment of being Robin was the first time that i got to put a bunch of pins in a map and then wind red string around them to map out a path and lead us to a final location. that shit felt like heroin.
Jason: *gasp* oh yeahhhhh! i remember when i was Robin and B didn't use paper shit any more, so the first time i got to do that was when i worked a case with you, and it made my fucking year i swear to god. wasn't even ruined by the fact that you hated me at the time, i was just so excited.
Dick: *fond hum*
Tim, audibly bitter: yeah well i'm real happy for you two. you know what i got when i became Robin? an ipad and a fucking shared google document.
Dick and Jason: *burst into laughter*
Jason, through tears: man i forgot about B's google doc phase-!
Tim, still annoyed: yeah, well there was a lot i wanted to do that i never got to do. i never got to uncover a hidden underground treasure room, i never got to flick through an ancient tomb with a thick leather cover until i find the right page and slam it open onto a table while going 'here!',
Jason: *wheeze*
Tim: -i never got to discover a secret map drawn in invisible ink,
Dick, still laughing: ok you just wanted to do a national treasure-
Tim: i wanted to find an ancient magical staff and hold it up in a beam of light. instead what do i get? shipping containers of cocaine and being kidnapped by a schizophrenic where i have to stay tied up in his basement for a week and a half while i wait for Batman and Robin to track me down like a lost dog.
Jason: *still wheezing* aw man, did the- *another wheeze*
Dick: Jason's crying,
Jason: *high pitched* did the schizophrenic at least have a staff?
Tim, indignant: well he had a staff infection,
Jason and Dick: *collapse into more loud laughter*
i like a Jason Todd whose reaction upon seeing that the little Drake kid he used to look out for during high-society events has taken up his mantle and is doing a surprisingly good job at it is to just go ‘i’m feeling an intense and confusing mix of cuteness aggression and indignant rage, which is confusing for me, but luckily my body’s reaction to both those emotions is to start throwing hands, so that kid better square up’. and a Tim Drake whose reaction to Jason revealing his identity to him and attempting to end his life at Titans Tower is to just go ‘ah, wrestling. i’ve seen this in sitcoms before. this is a common brotherly bonding activity. he has accepted me into his family, my mission has succeeded’. and then proceeds to start following the Red Hood around like a lost duckling, completely ignorant to Bruce and Dick’s genuine fear for his life.
the only reason Jason lets Tim hang around is because it’s like when you put a blanket over a dog’s head and they’re so confused as to where the light’s gone that they just freeze. Jason’s so confused he’s just letting Tim do his thing. in his mind he got the restless energy out the first time he beat Tim up, he’s kinda moved past it and doesn’t care. but now the kid keeps following him down the street whenever he goes out for a walk and he’s so fucking baffled as to the possible reasons for such actions that he’s just. incapable of stopping it. he’s just stuck side-eyeing Tim like when you’re eating a sandwich outside and a seagull starts walking suspiciously near you. you don’t quite know what to do about it yet because it’s not really doing anything, so you just keep an eye on it and try to get on with your meal, Alert but Stationary.
Tim just thinks he and Jason are bros now. Jason is genuinely starting to think this guy’s special needs and he doesn’t know what to do.
AU where Adrien doesn't have the cat miraculous, but DOES discover that Gabriel is hawkmoth literally day one, during Stoneheart. Gabe manages to convince Adrian not to turn him in, mainly by explaining why he's doing this, but also that if things go to plan no one will be permanently harmed, because miracle Cure undoes the damage his Akuma might cause. Adrien is skeptical, but basically agrees not to expose his dad, at least not immediately.
This is all pretty typical for an "Adrien knows from the start" au, but this is where I add my own brand of lunacy:
Gabriel clocks immediately that these heroes are children, and considering how quickly they responded to his Akumatization of Ivan, are likely enrolled in Francois DuPont. This, combined with his guilt at having to ask his literal child to carry the secret that he's a supervillain, Gabriel finally grants Adrien's request to go to school.
This leads to several major changes in the story from then on. Starting with how present Gabriel is in Adrien's life. With Adrien potentially going to school with his enemies and gathering info for him, he obviously needs to get reports from him about his classmates and what's going on at school. And it's best if said reports are made as soon as possible so they're fresh in Adrien's mind when they get relayed to Gabe. Logically, this makes the best time to hear about Adrien's school day at Dinner time, since, even busy as he is, Gabriel still eats dinner, so it works out.
And if it reminds him of before, when Emily would have them eat and talk together, when things were good? Well, what's the harm in that?
So Gabriel, partially by gaslighting himself into thinking it's "for the mission", is now actively invested and interested in Adrien's life. Which does wonders for their relationship. Especially because Gabriel gets extremely invested in every little thing Adrien says, and even takes notes to keep track.
Yeah, sure, it's for the mission. But why'd he right down, circle, highlight, and then remind Adrien of, Ninos birthday? And Jake sure he had a gift picked out? For the mission, sure...
Akuma's also start avoiding the school, or even akumatizing a student, like the plague. This starts basically the moment after the first and only time an Akuma puts Adrien in danger.
I could also see Adrien complaining about Akuma's late at night messing with his sleep, especially during exam periods, and Gabriel just, subtly beggining to avoid the really late or really early Akuma's, partially for his boy, and partially because some part of his brain is now keenly aware that these heroes are children, like Adrien, and he can't quite shake it anymore. His boy is miserable without sleep. All the doctors say it's integral for a growing kids health, and being still a pretty helicopter dad, I'd imagine he starts putting himself, intentionally or not, in the shoes of the heroes parents, at least mentally.
This also causes Gabriel to care a lot more about Adrien's friends. After all, two of them could be the Heroes. He has to watch them closely. So that means if Adrien wants to have them over, well, of course he says yes! Better data!
And if, perhaps, his supernatural senses pick up say, the depression clinging to the bright fashion designer who spends time with Adrien, or the stress that seems to be slowly building up in young Nino, well... It's just part of the mission to check on them, isn't it? To point out the struggling to Adrien and offer him some advice on how to help.
Yep. Just for the mission.
Even when he starts imagining if the Hero he just tried to squish with a car was Adrien's best friend, or that girl he likes but won't admit it. Even if the idea of what his hurting them would do to his son and their slowly healing relationship starts to burn almost as much as his initial grief at Emily's death.
while I don’t agree with that referring to men in their 30s-early 40s as “old man yaoi”, I UNDERSTAND why many people who primarily consume honest-to-goodness BL manga are quicker to call it that, because there is just such poor representation for men that aren’t hairless dehydrated 20-something twunks. They’re wrong, but I get why it happens.
I also understand that “middle-aged yaoi” isn’t as fun to say as “old man yaoi”, even when it’s more technically accurate.
So I would like to propose new vocabulary: Grown Ass Yaoi. yaoi that’s grown ass men. they’re not old but they’re not young adults either. you get me? Grown Ass Yaoi
The canon Silver Age re-introduction of the Justice Society to the Justice League will never not be funny to me. Like.
JSA: Wow! Who knew that we could access other universes so easily and could potentially help this new League!
Jay “I go to Earth-1 for monthly barbecues with my wife to visit my Protégé and his Fiancée and didn’t think it was important to say anything” Garrick: Weird, right?
JLA: I can’t believe the JSA was real all this time and that we could have been interacting with them with relative ease!
Barry “I go on long weekend camping trips with my predecessor whenever I can get away and didn’t think it was important to say anything” Allen: Yeah that’s crazy…
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I really like the idea of spider-man in DC. Why? Because I just imagine if he was really flung into DC and had his life and backstory there, became a hero. His personality would not change in the slightest. The difference is the arguments in the Justice League over “Adopting” him.
Batman already has adoption papers and is ready to get him in the bat family immediately.
“He uses gadgets, his costume is inspired by the creature that gave him trauma. And his parents are gone, this is my jurisdiction.”
Superman jumps in
“He is a ray of sunshine and carries the heavy weight of responsibility to use his powers. Not to mention he has super strength and inspires others. This falls into my camp Bruce.”
That’s when WonderWoman steps in
“He ties up criminals and does what is best for others, he also has incredible senses. If honed he would be an amazing warrior.”
Superman and Batman point out that he is a guy.
“Warriors come in all genders, I am allowed one”
What gets unexpected is when OTHER members of the justice league reveal their interest.
Flash shows interest.
“Science experiment gone wrong, lost someone close to him, AND he is fast. We add some speed force and he fits right in with the flash family. Plus our rogues galleries are much more fitting”
Hal Jordan and the lanterns even chime in
“His will power is impressive, he should be part of the lantern corps, he already has the responsibility aspect baked in.”
Zatanna even pops in pointing out how he has “Magic” inside him so therefore that falls into HER area.
It’s a full on argument.
Meanwhile Spider-man is chilling with the teen titans
The sirens were blaring. The situation was quickly escalating into an all-hands-on-deck emergency, and Batman was doing his best to give every superhero who came through the zeta-tube a position that would maximize their chances of surviving this.
Which wasn't easy when the threat was a complete unknown, one with apparently limitless power. Somehow, they hadn't suffered any catastrophic injuries so far, and the Flashes had managed to evacuate most civilians within the first twenty minutes.
However, considering the amount of power the being had displayed so far, and the complete lack of damage they had been able to inflict, it didn't feel as though their endurance up to this point was the result of their own efforts. Instead, it felt like the being was deliberately holding back.
Batman hated the sensation that it was merely toying with them before delivering a final, devastating blow, like a cat entertaining itself with prey before finally killing it.
He leapt out of the path of another stray attack. The fact that he was able to evade it at all, despite having witnessed other attacks move far faster, was just another piece of evidence supporting Batman's theory that the being was holding back.
They hadn't even been able to communicate with it. They had no motive, no known objective, no understanding of what it wanted, not even a clear description of what it looked like, since they only caught a shadow of an anthropomorphic figure between the onslaught of attacks.
The relentless battle had now dragged on for nearly two hours.
“We need something else to try! Nothing we do is affecting him!” Batman heard Wonder Woman shout through the comms.
“Do we have any news from the Dark members? I may not know what this being is, but it clearly has magical properties,” Shazam exclaimed as he launched yet another attack at the being, only for the man to be thrown back. Starfire was quick to soften his landing.
The closest zeta-tube, positioned a thousand miles north, sent another activation notification to Batman's wrist computer, and he was already thinking about where the weakest points in their formation were before he even knew who the new arrival was.
He couldn’t stop the resigned sigh that escaped his lips when the zeta-tube announced B-25. It was Phantom. So far, other than Shazam, there hadn't been any other young heroes arriving, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he started seeing more of them soon. Phantom was most likely just the start.
Phantom, despite claiming to have lived for almost half a millenia, had also accepted that by his own species' standards he was quite young, and Bruce had estimated that mentally the boy wasn't older than sixteen in human developmental years.
Usually, Bruce tried to keep the younger heroes out of world-ending threats, but he had to make an exception when no alternative was working. Phantom had powerful abilities, and while Batman had no reason to believe his powers would have any more impact than those of the other heavy hitters so far, he also had no reason to stop the boy from acting.
He really wished they could have wrapped up this battle before he had to start positioning young teens on the front lines.
“Hey Bats, heard things are looking pretty bad here. Where do you need me?” Phantom’s voice came through his comm. They had never been able to completely get rid of the staticky effect the ghost inflicted on the device, but it was still worlds better than the first time the ghost used them.
“We haven’t been able to inflict any damage so far, but we’re trying different attacks. Most of our electricity-based heroes are working southwest, so position yourself northeast for the time being to avoid interfering with each other. Try some attacks, and we’ll adjust from there.” Batman tried to keep certain powers working in the same area for cases like these, where incompatibilities between allies could become an issue.
“So we really are at the 'throwing everything we have and hoping something works' phase, huh?” Phantom commented just as he appeared in Batman's right field of view, allowing him to see the exact moment the ghost froze in place.
He frowned. “Phantom, have you found an incompatibility with the being? If so, I request that you retire.” Batman spoke sharply.
Sure, they needed more heavy hitters, but it wouldn't really help if one of them had some fundamental weakness against the being. Superman was barely being any help with his weakness to magic, but other heroes trusted Superman’s experience enough to rely on the man in the field even when weakened.
It would not be the same with a young hero.
Heroes would get distracted trying to protect the kid. Young heroes might hate it and see it as demeaning, but in the end, adults couldn't ignore it when children appeared to be in danger, and Batman had to account for that bias when strategizing against threats.
“N-no, um, I know that guy.” Phantom stammered, but Batman didn't hear any fear in his voice. It sounded more like he had been caught off guard. He also noted that the being was a he. Not that knowing his gender really made any difference here, but after two hours of nothing, it was refreshing to have any information about him at all. “Hey, Batman? Could you get everyone to back away? I think I can get him to stop… at least for a moment.”
Batman turned his attention back to the battlefield. Nothing had changed since this whole thing started. Their attacks were serving more to deflect the being's assaults than to actually hurt him. To a certain extent, stopping wouldn't really change anything, but it could still place them all at a disadvantage if the being decided to stop holding back the moment they gave him space.
“Are you sure you can do that? It could put everyone in danger if you are unable to.”
“Yeah… as long as he doesn’t decide to be an asshole about it.” Phantom murmured the last phrase.
It didn’t give Batman much confidence. The being had been attacking for a long time, and sure, he was holding back, but any of Bruce’s sons would agree that this behavior firmly placed him in the asshole category. Then again, no one else even knew what he was, and nothing they had tried so far had worked. Whatever Phantom had planned here might be their only chance.
He sighed. “Okay, but you have to be quick. If the being doesn’t stop within ten minutes after we cease our attacks, we’re returning to the current positions. Understood?”
“As clear as day.” Phantom chirped.
“I need everyone to step back for ten minutes. We’re trying something else,” Batman announced through the comms.
The heroes reunited around the being hadn't even finished complying when Phantom darted closer and screamed, “Half-time! Half-time! I demand a review!” And to everyone's utter confusion, the being stopped.
“Phantom? What are you doing here?” a deep, raspy voice asked. Batman couldn't believe the being was capable of talking. They had tried to communicate with him multiple times.
Without the constant barrage of attacks, he slowly began to make out the man's actual appearance. His eyes were red, his frame was massive, and he shared a certain resemblance to Phantom that Batman did not like noticing.
“What else would I be doing here? This is my home, dipshit.” Phantom snarled exasperatedly, planting his hands on his hips. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, save us the unnecessary questions. You know I only go where the clock sends me,” the being snarled back.
“Right, because you never enjoy doing this. This place is mine, Poltergeist,” Phantom growled.
“Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time.” The newly named Poltergeist scoffed. “Let's see.”
He reached into his own arm and pulled out a notebook, flipping through the pages. Batman could only add this action, the name, the resemblance to Phantom, and the fact that the teen knew him to his growing list of evidence that this man was a ghost.
He knew from Phantom that ghosts were powerful, but he hadn't thought they could be this powerful. He would need to prioritize contingencies against ghosts once this was dealt with. At least whatever conversation Phantom and this Poltergeist were having seemed to be going well.
That is, there hadn't been any new attacks, and he hoped it stayed that way. He could see some of his allies taking advantage of the possibly temporary ceasefire to collect themselves and get injured teammates treated as best as possible without fully immobilizing them, in case things went south and they had to resume the fight.
Poltergeist finally found the page he had been looking for. “So, is this not AU18DC86DP08062026?” he asked, reading aloud.
Phantom looked clearly displeased by the alphanumeric string that apparently described “here.” Batman still didn't know what level of magnitude “here” referred to. These exact coordinates? This city? This planet? This solar system? It could mean anything. He was going to have so many questions for Phantom later.
“Yes. Yes, it is.” Phantom growled, now clearly annoyed. “Let me see that.” He swooped forward and snatched the notebook away.
“Hey! Careful, you jerk. Whisp made that for me!” Poltergeist protested.
“I'm not going to break it...” Phantom whipped his head around to stare at Poltergeist and exclaimed, all traces of anger vanishing and pure awe filling his voice, “Wait, she made it for you?”
“Yes. I told you we've gotten closer.” Poltergeist crossed his arms and looked positively smug.
“I'm glad,” Phantom said softly, a warmth entering his eyes that Batman had only seen when the ghost looked at people he had adopted as family.
Batman had... so many questions, and he could see many of the heroes observing the scene dumbfounded. Martian Manhunter, one of the first adults the teen had dubbed “his,” looked the most baffled, and Batman wondered if there was another psychic layer to this conversation that he was missing.
Anyhow, the strange domesticity the conversation had taken on had allowed the heroes to relax even further. Batman was starting to consider organizing an evacuation for those with the worst injuries.
Poltergeist cleared his throat, now looking away as though embarrassed. “Were you not about to check the code?”
“Ah, right.” Phantom looked back down at the notebook and pursed his lips. “I don't get where you get your terrible handwriting from. Both me and Vlad have decent enough handwriting.”
“Oh, spare me the lecture.” Poltergeist waved a hand dismissively.
“I'll spare it when it isn't affecting me! Can you really confidently tell me any of these are actually sixes, fives, or eights? They all look almost the same!” Phantom complained, waving the notebook accusingly.
“Of course I... well, I think so?” Poltergeist admitted with a grimace.
“Ancients. You need to find a more reliable way to do this.”
“Alright, alright, I get it. My numbers suck. Blame the clock. You know how many codes he has me writing in one sitting?” Poltergeist threw his hands up.
“Ugh, the bastard has all the time in the world and yet...” Phantom muttered.
“Right!? Like, use your time-outs for this supposedly incredibly important information!” Poltergeist huffed.
Phantom sighed. “So...”
“Yes, yes, I'll honor your review request and go confirm this with Clockwork.” Poltergeist rolled his eyes, though his tone lacked any real irritation. “I'll let you know how it goes.”
Phantom huffed and held out the notebook. “Here. And seriously, work on your numbers.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Poltergeist took the notebook back carefully, tucking it away into his arm again. “I'll think about it.”
“Hope it goes well,” Phantom said. Then, after a moment of silence, he added almost timidly, “Hey, and if it turns out null, could you stay and visit for a few days? Feels like it's been decades.”
Poltergeist looked at Phantom for a long moment, his expression softening. “Sure, lil me.” And then the man was engulfed in shadows and disappeared.
Phantom pouted as he floated back toward Batman. “I've told him not to call me that,” he mumbled under his breath.
“Phantom. If you don’t mind, I would like some explanations. Starting with who that man was, how you know him, and why he was attacking.” Batman demanded.
“Ugh, straight back to business as always.” Phantom groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. “Shouldn’t we be looking after the injured or something?”
“I trust the rest of the team is able to do that now that there isn’t an imminent threat in the field,” Batman replied.
“... Right.” Phantom shifted nervously in the air. “Um, so that was Poltergeist.”
“I gathered.”
“And he’s my older brother.”
Fantastic. Phantom has an older brother with unlimited power. Batman massaged his temple. At least this confirmed that Poltergeist was a ghost.
“And why was your brother attacking us?”
“Right, so, that’s a pretty long explanation. A lot of context is needed...” Phantom said, hovering nervously in the air. “Can’t we, like, go back to the Watchtower and talk there?”
Batman raised an eyebrow and looked around. There weren’t any civilians left, and the only people able to hear them would be other Justice League allies, but Batman could understand not wanting to discuss personal matters in front of every hero present. Even if said personal matters had caused an all-hands-on-deck level threat. He sighed.
“All right.” He pressed his comm. “Nightwing, I’m going back to the Watchtower to discuss what has happened with Phantom. Could you...”
“Don’t worry, B, we have everything covered here,” Nightwing's voice came, sounding a little strained from the other side.
Batman pursed his lips. He hadn’t received any notice of his eldest getting hurt. He glanced around the battlefield. Nightwing was too far away for him to see clearly from his position, but hopefully his son was occupied with something and wasn’t actually hiding a major injury. He sighed. He would have to trust his son's judgment. Turning back toward Phantom, he nodded.
“All right, let’s get to the Watchtower.”
—
Phantom hovered around the room, searching for the right words, while Batman checked the logs that had been entered into the system during the attack. He was trying to be patient here. Phantom was a nervous young boy, and he didn’t want the teen to shut down.
“Alright,” Phantom finally began, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know how I mentioned once that I was a protective spirit?”
“Mm,” Batman acknowledged, not looking up from the screen.
“Right, so, my brother is also a protector but… in a different way.”
“Which means?” Batman asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Um, he gets rid of the universes that are a threat to the Infinite Realms? You know, the place that I told you is connected to all existing universes?” Phantom explained in a meek voice.
“He destroys universes,” Batman concluded, barely keeping the panic out of his voice. They had had a universe destroyer attacking them.
“Well, yes. But to protect all the other universes!” Phantom exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “You know, like when you cut off a leaf that shows signs of fungus so the rest of the plant won't die as well?”
“So he’s decided our universe is a threat.” Batman growled lowly, narrowing his eyes at Phantom.
“He hasn’t.” Phantom immediately raised his arms in a calming motion. “Um, the Ancient of Time told him, but Da... uh, Poltergeist may be mistaken. Like, the code was not clear at all. He could definitely be in the wrong universe!” Phantom hurried to explain.
“Universes that have become a threat to the Infinite Realms rarely have sentient life. More often than not, they're a threat because of the way they sink ectoplasm, like a black hole pulls in light. The few that have had sentient life in them had that sentient life actively working to damage the Infinite Realms, and to my knowledge, that is not what is happening here!” Phantom rushed through his explanation in an effort to appease Batman.
“To your knowledge. There's still a chance.” Batman crossed his arms, thinking through what Phantom had said. From what Phantom had explained in the past, Ancient meant the personification of something, so the personification of time itself was sending Poltergeist to destroy universes.
His jaw tensed. From what they had seen so far, if the ghost wasn’t mistaken, they would be in great trouble. “If he was here believing he was getting rid of a threatening universe, why was he... holding back against us?”
“Believe it or not, this is not the first time my brother has gone to the wrong universe.” Phantom rolled his eyes in fond annoyance.
“So he usually fools around a little to see if Clockwork, or someone else, will intervene. Besides, there isn’t always a need for the universe to be completely destroyed. Sometimes it's enough to cause a scene for the universe to be redirected onto the right path.
Not that Clockwork would specify which universes are which,” Phantom scoffed, “so Poltergeist just takes things slowly until there's no chance the sentence wasn't destruction.”
“What would a scene entail?” Batman asked, leaning forward slightly. “Would what he has done so far count as a scene?”
“Uh...” Phantom winced. “I’m not sure.”
Batman sighed, pulling up the battle logs once more. This conversation was doing nothing to calm his nerves. He had been grateful when Phantom was able to easily stop Poltergeist's attack, but everything he heard only made his worries grow.
They had no real way to defend themselves if the Ancient of Time confirmed that this universe had been sentenced to destruction. He understood the cosmic logic behind Poltergeist's work, but that didn’t mean he was willing to let his dimension be destroyed for the greater good.
His children lived here, his friends lived here, and there were billions of lives he had worked day and night to protect. He wouldn’t let it all end just because a higher being had decided they were too much of a threat to continue existing.
The “scene” option wasn’t a good alternative either, not when they didn’t even have a definition for what a “scene” was. What would they do if, for it to be effective, Poltergeist had to destroy the Earth? He needed to discuss this with the JLD and see if there was any chance they had a way to combat this.
He should have found a more reliable way to counter ghosts when Phantom first arrived. Sure, every attempt had ended in failure, but he had let himself get distracted by other matters too easily.
Batman slowly raised his eyes to Phantom again. The ghost was hovering nervously from side to side, biting his lip as though he were trying to find words that would reassure Batman. Batman doubted those words existed.
“Phantom. What is your plan if Poltergeist returns with the objective of destroying this universe?” he finally voiced the question he had been dreading.
Phantom was a close friend of Tim's. The boy had stayed over at the Manor more times than Bruce could count, he got along with all of the other teen heroes, and more than a few heroes had an unspoken agreement of shared custody over the kid.
Bruce was excluded only because of his children's efforts to keep Phantom firmly in the family friend category, but Bruce had always found the boy somewhat nephew-like. If Phantom sided with Poltergeist, if they had to fight against Phantom in their attempt to save their home dimension... Bruce didn’t know if they would be able to emotionally survive that.
Phantom furrowed his brows. “Batman, I’m a protector spirit. You heard what I told Poltergeist, didn’t you? This place is mine. I don’t care what Clockwork says about this universe, it is mine. Poltergeist will have to trap me in my core before he can put a real dent in it.” Phantom’s eyes grew brighter as he spoke, his voice taking on more of the ghostly reverberance they heard whenever the ghost got angry.
Batman kept his eyes on the ghost, relieved to hear they would not have to fight against him, but feeling bad for the position the kid would be put in if the worst outcome did come to pass. Phantom's warm look toward his brother when they had spoken about this Whisp person getting along with him came to mind.
“Would you really be able to fight against your brother?” he asked quietly.
Phantom let out a humorless chuckle. “And win too. I have done it multiple times.” The ghost finally took a seat, or rather a table, as he perched beside Batman’s monitor, pulling his legs up to his chest and looking down.
“The truth is, Batman, a universe under my protection would never be able to be destroyed. Even if I lose and am forced into my core, Poltergeist would be too injured or exhausted to finish the job. It doesn’t mean it would go unscathed from Poltergeist's attacks but... it’ll be fine.”
“Then if Poltergeist is asked to destroy this universe, this Ancient of Time is actually just asking for a 'scene'?” Batman asked, not liking the implications that Phantom had had to fight with his brother multiple times because of this Ancient's orders, but deciding not to touch that issue at the moment.
Phantom shook his head. “If Clockwork is sending Poltergeist here, it most likely means he wants us both to be out of commission for some time, out of the way of some other great event that will be happening soon and that we, as balance missionaries, won’t like, but that Time considers necessary.”
“Balance missionaries?” Batman repeated, his brows furrowing at the unfamiliar title.
It occurred to him that they were lacking a great deal of knowledge about the Infinite Realms. Phantom had adapted exceptionally well to human society. Everything from his "Danny's" disguise to his mannerisms fit in remarkably well, and the teen also spoke casually about ghosts and the Infinite Realms.
Batman had assumed, in the comfort of easy answers and because of the teen's protective personality, that aside from the paranormal factor, they shared similar social structures.
Or perhaps it had been his dislike for the paranormal that had allowed him to remain comfortable with how little he knew. After all, the JLD was there to handle that side of things. That assumption sat poorly with him now. He had accepted too many unknowns simply because they had been convenient, and the realization left an unpleasant weight in his chest.
Phantom groaned and flopped backward dramatically onto the table. “That one is actually too long, and I refuse to explain it. Long story short, it’s a title me, Poltergeist, and our little sister Whisp got around our hundredth death year. It just so happens that Balance and Time don’t always agree.”
Bruce frowned. “If you’re aware this is only a way for him to get you both out of the way, why don’t you refuse from the start?”
Phantom grimaced. “It isn’t that simple...” He sat back up from where he had flopped onto the table and rubbed his arms uneasily. “I’m sure Constantine has told you before that paranormal beings tend not to have all the same liberties as mortals do. Poltergeists have a need to destroy what has been classified as a danger, and I have to protect what’s mine to protect. We can't not do it.
Besides, it doesn’t always work in Clocky's favor even when we go along with it.” Phantom sighed and hugged his knees tighter. “Look, even if Poltergeist does return with a destruction sentence, I’ll ask him to take it to an uninhabited place. That much we can afford to do. So it’ll be fine.”
Batman frowns. “I don’t think anyone would like for you to go fight far away on your own in a battle that, from what you’ve told me, will leave you terribly injured.”
Phantom made a wet laugh. “Then let’s hope Poltergeist returns for a brother's hang out instead, because I can’t stay here if we do have to fight” Phantom hides his face in his knees. “Fuck, I really liked my existance here, I don’t want to leave yet.”
Bruce's brow knit with concern, somewhat confused by Phantom's assumption that he would have to leave after the attack. Did the ghost believe he would be blamed for the possible destruction of their surroundings?
“You don’t have to leave, Phantom. Regardless of how things develop, no one would blame you or want you gone. This is not a decision you are taking.”
Phantom shook his head, his voice muffled by his knees. “I can’t stay in a universe where we’ve fought.” He raised his head slightly, his wet eyes peeking up from where they had been hidden behind his knees.
“Beings like us emit a lot of energy. After a fight like that? There’s no way this universe will have the structural strength to put up with me.”
“Are you certain there’s no other option?”
Phantom nodded. “Not one we’ve found in the last five hundred years.”
Batman placed a hand on Phantom's shoulder, gently rubbing his thumb in circles against it. “You haven’t searched in this universe yet. Let’s not give up until we have at the very least tried.”
Phantom’s resulting laugh was so resigned that it was heartbreaking to hear. “I’m sorry, Batsy, but I’d rather spend my possible last moments in this universe doing something other than falling into a research spiral.”
He sniffed, a hand coming up to rub at his eye, and after looking away, he started speaking again, his words almost a mumble. “I know there’s a huge cleanup going on, but do you think J'onn will be free soon? I want to stay with him for a while.”
Batman thinned his lips for a moment. It wasn’t surprising that Phantom would resign himself if he had gone through this multiple times before, but he still hated seeing such hopelessness in young eyes. He hated magic and the supernatural.
He knew some of the hero community saw him as a man who looked for children to turn into heroes, but giving those kids capes and training had always been the result of trying to keep extremely capable children with a hunger for violence and justice alive.
He would be delighted if any of his children decided to quit one morning, though at this point he was convinced it was more likely for Alfred the cat to learn to fly than for any of them to do so. But magic never seemed to give anyone an option. Not Billy with the wisdom of Solomon, and not Phantom now.
“We have more than enough people helping down there.” Batman gave the teen's shoulder a final squeeze before withdrawing his hand. “I can call him up if you want.”
Phantom only nodded, not looking at Batman again.
“Before that,” Batman continued, “do you perhaps know how long it’ll take for Poltergeist to get his answer?”
Phantom shrugged and pushed himself off the table. “You never know with Clockwork. It could be an hour, it could be a couple months.” He floated toward the door before pausing. “Could you tell J’onn I’ll be in my Watchtower bedroom?”
“Of course.” Batman hesitated for a moment. “And Phantom, if we have a question...”
“Sure, I’ll answer what I can.” Phantom offered him a small, tired smile. “Still don’t think you’ll find anything, but well, you are one of Hope's favorites after all.” With that, Phantom left the room.
Batman blinked. One of Hope's favorites? He looked at his own reflection on the monitor's screen. Something like that didn’t fit him. He shook his head, pushing the strange comment out of his mind. He needed to get the JLD to the Watchtower yesterday.
Even if Phantom didn’t have to leave the universe if a battle did happen, sending the teen to fight against Poltergeist was not a plan. They couldn’t rely on a single teenager to save them all. They needed options, and for that, he needed information.
My most recent word document is creatively titled “NYY gaslight girlboss gatekeep” and the ever increasing word count is all about Ning Yingying deciding that if the shixiongs on Qing Jing Peak aren’t going be punished for bullying Luo Binghe she’s going to get them punished for other things.
NYY laying down on the ground and screaming, and when someone else rushes in she says that shixiong shoved her.
NYY copying someone’s assignment and accusing them of copying her, and the teacher taking her side because she’s such a nice girl who wouldn’t lie about that.
NYY hides some of her hair ribbons under one of their pillows and then raises the alarm that she thinks someone broke into her room.
Anyway, things escalate to the point that the other Peak Lords go to get SQQ out of seclusion early because his disciples started stabbing each other and this happens at just the right time to save LQG from his qi deviation.
It's once again time for a list of my unsolicited head canons
What jobs would SVSSS characters have in the modern world?
Alright let's do this.
- Shen Qingqiu (Yuan) is a beloved university professor who randomly goes on sabbatical for like 3 years to honeymoon with his husband, to everyone's sadness.
- Shen Jiu runs a lesbian bar/strip club
- Luo Bingmei runs the sketchiest mob front restaurant you've ever seen in your life. It's built out of an abandoned gas station that got built over by a strip mall and barely even exists anymore. He is both the head of the crime syndicate who runs it and the chef. It serves the best Xiaolongbao you've ever had.
- Luo Bingge is an oil exec with a suspicious number of girlfriends and an offshore bank account.
-Liu Qingge runs an MMA gym, but only nominally. Most of the actual teaching is done by his weirdly persistent and weirdly young student, Yang Yixuan, and his sister does the paperwork in exchange for free membership for her and her girlfriends.
- Yue Qingyuan is a government official who keeps being sighted getting kicked out of a lesbian bar.
- Liu Mingyan does extremely performative and scripted wrestling, and is in a lesbian situationship with her assigned villain, Sha Hauling, as well as dating Bartender Ning Yingying. She also takes fanfic commissions on the side.
- Ning Yingying is a bartender at her dad's lesbian bar/strip club. She's also going to college for early childhood education, and is in Shen Yuans classes.
- Mu Qingfang is a geneticist doing vaguely unethical research on human stem cell cloning. He is sworn enemies with Hwang Woo Suk.
- Mobei Jun is an extremely wealthy heir to a fortune 500 company. Sorry to be basic here but that's just who he is.
- Shang Qinghua is a bedraggled paper pushing bureaucrat in the realm of Public Works. He gets paid almost nothing and is a porn author to make ends meet.
- Qi Qingqi is a domestic violence lawyer with strange and specific beef with the male owner of a lesbian bar/strip club that she is CERTAIN is up to no good but she cannot seem to find dirt on, and for some reason a government official keeps blocking her research??? Suspicious.
- Wei Qingwei posts thirst traps on XiaoHongShu. I cannot explain this one he just does.
-Tianlang-Jun is a guy who came from money and now just commissions a LOT of smut from his mansion.
-Zhuzhi-lang technically doesn't have to work, but he finds satisfaction archival work. He also runs a YouTube channel about snakes on the side.
- Gongyi Xiao is a kindly and misguided young social media coordinator for an EXTREMELY evil corporation.
-Ming Fan is a bouncer at Shen Jiu's lesbian bar. He is studying business and is greatly looking forward to a future working an office job with terrible pay and worse hours.
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POV: You're Luo Bingge and you showed up at the new Qing Jing Peak to see the nice Shizun. (Otherwise known as I really like @fangirlingpuggle 's AU post in which SY adopts a bunch of kids ((including reborn peak lords)) and starts a new QJ)
[ID: A Scum Villain Drawing. Shen Yuan in a Shen Qingqiu-esque form with glasses smiles with closed eyes. An unnamed little girl with demon ears and reds eyes, therefore being one of Luo Bingge's, grips onto SY's robes nervously. SY has a hand rested on her head for comfort. A Kid!Shen Jiu stands with his arms trying to block SY from the "intruder" with an angered expression. Kid!Qi Qingqi sticks her tongue out while gripping SY's sleeve. The little girl and Qi Qingqi have green over robes but their under robes are pink and purple respectively. End ID]
POV: You're Luo Bingge and you showed up at the new Qing Jing Peak to see the nice Shizun. (Otherwise known as I really like @fangirlingpuggle 's AU post in which SY adopts a bunch of kids ((including reborn peak lords)) and starts a new QJ)
[ID: A Scum Villain Drawing. Shen Yuan in a Shen Qingqiu-esque form with glasses smiles with closed eyes. An unnamed little girl with demon ears and reds eyes, therefore being one of Luo Bingge's, grips onto SY's robes nervously. SY has a hand rested on her head for comfort. A Kid!Shen Jiu stands with his arms trying to block SY from the "intruder" with an angered expression. Kid!Qi Qingqi sticks her tongue out while gripping SY's sleeve. The little girl and Qi Qingqi have green over robes but their under robes are pink and purple respectively. End ID]
