Vey's

Jika boleh, aku tak boleh seperti ini

Jika bisa, aku ingin bisa

Pergilah jika mau.

Tak perlu lagi kembali.

Tak usah lagi bertemu.

Aku bisa sendiri.

Aku terbiasa tak ditemani.

Tak usah mengasihani.

Tak perlu mencaci maki.

Pergilah saja.

Tak usah tinggalkan duka.

Aku sedang berusaha.

Mengatasi banyak luka yang tak kunjung mereda.

Pergilah saja.

Sekarang aku sudah terbiasa.

Mengatasinya bersama bayangan senja.

a beginning, a middle, and an end.

but he came.

And sometimes, when I want it,

I said, “why?"

“Just do it.” He replied.

And I asked again, “Can you just tell me why?”

Tak dapatkah rasa ini tergambarkan oleh kata? Agar mereka mengerti, darimana tak apanya?

Aku jatuh lagi, dan lagi. Tenggelam dalam gelap diriku sendiri. Bisakah mereka lihat, darimana baik-baik sajanya?

Aku ingin hilang, jauh dari tempatku. Lalu, yang kurasa hanya ketakutan dengan pikiranku sendiri. Bisakah mereka jelaskan, bagaimana untuk mewujudkan kata "jadilah kuat" ?

Sedang terjadi lagi. Perasaan ini. Tak bisa dikatakan buruk tapi tetap tak baik-baik saja. Tak terluka tapi juga tak sehat seperti seharusnya.

Sedang dirasakan lagi. Rasa sesak yang mungkin tak akan pernah terasa biasa. Walaupun ribuan kali datang, tetap tak akan bisa seakrab langit dan hujan.

Pertanyaan ini selalu berakhir pada garis yang tak berujung. Tentang apa rasa ini? Rasa sakit yang tak terungkapkan. Luka yang tak terlihat sedalam apa.

Lagi dan lagi. Semua hal yang tak dapat dimengertipun akan kalah dengan tanya ini.

The world always make me remember all about you. I love the world like this, like Venus loving Mars. Like the beauty of Saturnus which never die. Like every moon who always beside their planets. This world never stop giving me a strengh.

When I can't understand your truly feeling, it's that true that you happy when you laugh? Or you feel sad when you cry? You just like Venus who always shining. But, always can't be understood, like a mysterious Mars.

Is that will be forever like this? The world doesn't give me a clue, exactly. But, with all of that, I can be brave to take this unpredictable story.

I don't really want someone who is perfect, like God of Neptune. I just need someone who can complete this emptiness.

He's tall, sweet and warm. Just ordinary first met. I saw him, and he saw me. But, that time is the reason for me to realize that there is something beautiful in this world.

Then, we often said hi, then smile, then laugh. And that's be like a habit. Hi, hello, he called my name and I called him.

Then one day, the time make him closer.

Hi, Venus. How's your day? There are a lot of story I want to tell you. But, you're not here. Or maybe, too late for me to realize that you don't want this story anymore.

What are you doing there? Can't you just stay by my side? Don't go. I miss you.

Venus, are you going outside now? Can you see the moon tonight? How's that? Pretty right? You know? Now I am thinking that the moon just laughing us. Venus that used to love Mars, and Mars that loving Venus now. Why we didn't loving each other at the same time? Can we just repeat this story again? I want to chance the line.

Hey, maybe I am a bad person now, who expecting you to not to be with her. I really am. But tonight, I understand, you never feel happier than with her. How can I hurt you like that? I haven't heal yet. Hurting you is just like hurting myself more.

Do you remember when I asked you to go home because I brought you ice cream that night? You just go outside with her that night. I know, I came in the wrong time. But how can I hold on?

So far that I know, I miss you, with the shining of the moon tonight. And, at least I know too, we're still under the same sky.