MDNI | Call me Ves | 20 | he/they | Fanfic Author, Artist, K-Pop Stan | only partially sane | Gatekeeper of Kang Yeosang (he lives in my pocket :>) | Delulu is the Solulu (in modest amounts)
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…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
Update: got her back on Friday after she got a second brand new transmission put in, this one pre tested by the manufacturer. On Wednesday I drove her and the transmission fault sensor came on. So my car is still cursed. However, a sensor actually came on this time, so this is progress. This time I won't go to the mechanic like "she's driving slightly wrong and I have a bad feeling" and look completely insane
i actually just... hate Bad and i think it's barely a song. some of the b-sides have okay parts, even good, but overall i feel so let down. this is nothing like the atxxz i fell in love with. I've tried to stay positive throughout goldxn hour but it's just so incredibly uninteresting to me, almost every song. only a small handful of exceptions. i miss the emotionally intense, passionate and wild feelings in inception, answer, halazia, treasure... most of their old stuff. im tired of having to try really hard to get even a little bit into their music, and i wish goldxn hour would be over already. even though im also scared I wont like what comes after.
I feel this EXACT way. I think pt 1 and 2 are good albums and iyf was really good. But every other installment has just been forgettable. We almost came back with pt 4 but pt 5 is just a let down. Im really not enjoying the shorter albums and I wish we would get something longer. I hate that I listen to it in ~20 minutes and then just forget about it because most of the songs aren't memorable. I honestly couldn't tell you a single song from pt 5 that I'm going to listen to again
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Update: got her back on Friday after she got a second brand new transmission put in, this one pre tested by the manufacturer. On Wednesday I drove her and the transmission fault sensor came on. So my car is still cursed. However, a sensor actually came on this time, so this is progress. This time I won't go to the mechanic like "she's driving slightly wrong and I have a bad feeling" and look completely insane
Update: got her back on Friday after she got a second brand new transmission put in, this one pre tested by the manufacturer. On Wednesday I drove her and the transmission fault sensor came on. So my car is still cursed. However, a sensor actually came on this time, so this is progress. This time I won't go to the mechanic like "she's driving slightly wrong and I have a bad feeling" and look completely insane
because i have been barely capable of doing intentional acts of kindness for the last few weeks, i found a new way to bring some kindness into the world. by minimising cruelty. no killing bugs anymore. unless it's a mosquito who is directly causing harm to me by drinking my blood, i will not take a little fella's life. if a bug lands on me outside, i gently blow air at it to make it fly away. if a bug flew or crawled in our apartment through cracks under the window net, i will carefully cup it in my hands and let it out back outside. since i started doing this, this kind of thinking has destroyed the fear of bugs i used to have too. because hey. you are just a tiny little guy. who contains life. who probably really really wants to live. who is an important part of the ecosystem. i will not harm you because there is no need for it and i don't want to add unnecessary cruelty to the world
so anyway how do i style myself if i want to give off the "only hit on me if you are a dominant dyke into armpits or a guy who would eagerly want to crossdress and wear sharp acrylic nails to scratch my hips until they bleed while fucking me doggystyle" vibe? croptops? no?
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seonghwa looked down at her phone as your name flashed across the top, her husband laid next to her. unconscious. snoring like the old man he was. she’d brought that on herself.
quickly she slipped out of the room, wrapping herself in a robe, slippers on her feet. she had barely reached the living room when she answered on what had to be the last ring.
your voice rang out into the air, slurred and raspy, “oh you picked up.”
seonghwa didn’t say anything. simply stared down at the phone in her hand.
you laughed at her silence, “sorry i shouldn’t call. yunho’s gonna be so pissed if he finds me out her.” you put words together remarkably well for how drunk she assumed you had to be to actually call her.
“hi…” seonghwa, for once in her life, didn’t know what to do with this.
“i miss you,” you answered for her.
“oh honey,” the sting of guilt shot through her, “you know this is—“
“oh fuck off, seonghwa.”
she was taken aback. she couldn’t recall any time you had ever tried to stand against her.
“you don’t get to do this,” she could hear the tearful waver in your voice, “fucking make me fall in love with you, and then pretend nothing ever happened. god i shouldn’t have called you. yunho was right.”
the words caught up in her throat. she couldn’t tell you anything. not how she thought about you every night. not how she tried to imagine you in the moments of intimacy she had with her husband. not how she had started buying the same shampoo you used to use.
she couldn’t tell you any of that.
“did you ever love me, seonghwa? be honest.”
yes. god yes. every second she spent with you. she liked to fantasize about a future with you. one where she was out. one where she got to hold your in her arms and no one even cared. one where the body sleeping next to her every night was you.
but that fantasy was a lie. you were young. beautiful. you had everything you needed to find a beautiful woman who would be everything she could’ve been to you an more.
it would hurt now. but one day you would realize.
“no. no i didn’t. i’m sorry.”
she hung up for you. not letting herself think about your reaction on the other line. she blocked your number before she could even second guess it. looking at your beautiful face one last time before she deleted your contact from her phone.
alternative ending: she tells you that she can never see herself getting married so you break things off because that's something you really want. and then she's engaged to him six months later 🔫
and the other thing about rpf is that it's like sure maybe their inner worlds are not as rich as we're making them out to be and they're not fucking with their eyes every time they look at each other. but you can't deny that sometimes those celebrities are acting exactly like You would act when you really really want to be friends with someone or you have a debilitating crush and you desperately need to be close to them. and that is beautiful. the human experience truly is universal
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the games are real, the stakes are real, the players themselves are unknowable except for what they carefully want you to know. the narratives are real, but the league knows you care about them, so they amplify them. the graphics next to the player's heads to tell you this is how their season is going, the camera lingering on them as they lean down to tie their shoes or their skates, looking solemn, the commentators tell you this is important, the marketing tells you this is important, in case you didnt know. the stories are already there but theyre also well-crafted. you care about these players. you care about how they perform. not just because you want to see your team win but because you want to see the conclusion of the narrative being built around them.
not everyone is doing sports rpf the way you might be familiar with it in fandom spaces, but sports is always, on some level, rpf. the people are real, but the reason you care about them is because a story is being told about them, through numbers, satistics, win/loss ratios, championships. there is an interest in amplifying the drama and centering the narrative so you care more about what you're seeing while watching the game. and is that not simply rpf...........
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