happy sometimes you just want something so hard you have to lie about it so you can hold it in your mouth for a minute monday

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

Here's my real tip for anyone moving out on their own for the first time; when you buy a set of measuring cups or spoons buy ones that have the measurement engraved into the cup/spoon and do NOT buy ones where it's just printed on. Because that ink/paint/ect. can rub off and then you'll have a bunch of useless little spoons and cups you have to get rid of bcs they no longer say what size they are. Don't ask me how I know, just trust me that you wanna buy engraved ones.

I’m afraid some of ya’ll just don’t have the freak gene that lets you enjoy ACTUAL enemies to lovers. Ya’ll think that trope is just like coworkers fighting over a promotion or smth like no give me people that have tried to maim and kill one another or give me nothing

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

“I would eat his heart in the marketplace” is legit the most savage line I have ever heard, I’d like to personally thank Shakespeare for putting into words that feeling of rage and protectiveness women get when some fuckboy hurts another woman

Okay first off, I will always reblog this post, but secondly, I went to Shakespeare in the Park tonight to see this and all the women cheered *so loudly* when Beatrice said this line, and the guy in front of me looked around all shocked and a little scared and said “… oh wow” and it was ICONIQUE

ive noticed u made the common mistake of stoppijg petting me so i will whine and paw ur paw until u realize this mistake its ok its a common mistake here let me lay on u to makr it easier

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

Whenever I see the phrase "foul magic" in fantasy media I have to try very hard not to think about how one definition of "foul" is "having an unpleasant smell", because it's challenging to take a character seriously when their title is Master of the Stinky Arts.

Alternatively: birds

guy working on an artwork they knew would push them technically: what the hell why do i keep doing this wrong. am i haunted by malevolent spirits and such

they should make a frowny face with three hearts emoji for when you want to convey that even through a very bad mood or tough situation you still feel a wave of affection for the person you are texting

Everyone says that reading fanfiction is a useless pastime, but let’s not forget that I learned how to cook grilled cheese from a kiribaku fic 

A touching reunion