siriusly.

lesbians wear stuff your dad would wear but in a really hip way. that’s our contribution to popular culture.

every time i see this post i think abt the time when i listened to a bunch of muslim and jewish students spent their entire 10 minute break arguing abt whether god actually cares you eat gummy bears (made with gelatin derived from pork) or not, standing by the vending machine and eating gummy bears the whole time

everytime you text me my heart goes ’!!!’ and my brain wishes you were here with me

Y’all John Mulaney didn’t die in Infinity War J.J. Bittenbinder taught him better than that

john mulaney when thanos arrives: you want this stone? go get it!

STREET SMARTS

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this

Same