the darkest vagina lord

wait wtf is cream soda

cause when we're creaming and popping...

we’re cropping?

we're peaming

there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach

Love it when a character is like “I can tell you’re trying to smooth talk me and I’m fully aware you’re trying to manipulate me but it’s working. Keep complimenting me.”

Ah, you’re trying to flatter me. My one weakness! Keep going.

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

everyone in the grocery store is my enemy

@i-like-reblog-maps I heard you like large maps ^⁠_⁠^

Didn't realise it was a reblog map at first,thought somebody was drawing the visual effect that accompanies casting Testicular Torsion.

this post is still good even without the glitch that’s how good this post is

PHRASE ADDED TO INVENTORY!

if i ever interacted with you and it was awkward just know im sorry and painfully aware that sometimes i come off like a person who is having the first conversation of their life

wtf are borders anyway. like yeah u were born on this beautiful earth buuuuut 😊 u cant go here. or here either

This counts as fan art

I wish insomnia at least gave you more usable hours in the day instead of just more hours where you are stupid

i think my ideal job is being paid 50$/hour to sit on the computer doing whatever i want at an empty rented office space for mysterious employers definitely running some kind of money laundering scheme and just needing me to keep up appearances of one of their shell companies but im not like, in on anything and no one can charge me for anything