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forfawkssake

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

jonmoxleys

sometimes it just ends up being something like

onlyhereforthedrama

ITS BACK

dontleavemydreams-deactivated20

lord

uhmgilinsky

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

forfawkssake

Please stop reblogging this post

myterribletwenties

This post made my water break

myterribletwenties

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

forfawkssake

WHAT

whitakerforever

God, I love this accursed website.

myterribletwenties

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

myterriblethirties

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 7 years old today (July 2, 2024) and the gif is still funny af to me. Happy birthday to my beautiful and brilliant big girl, Marceline!!

thatacefrog

Happy birthday!!!

smallerontheoutside

happy birthday to her !!

lunarriviera

happy 9th bday marcelline! i hope you never find this post!

#only on tumblr

rednines

uququ

the parallel w/ germanic bear is interesting but it must be said that "brown one" is vastly inferior to "cutie pie"

rattlesnek

my nickname "guy who doesn't attack people" is raising a lot of questions that are already answered by the nickname

ph-cutie

bite-my-grimy-fleshy-ass

If you like a Long Island Iced Tea, wait until you try the provocatively named Adios, Motherfucker. It’s fun, boozy and blue.

Found a recipe for it that's worded like electrochemistry wrote it

bite-my-grimy-fleshy-ass

Update: this tastes like if a baha blast could kill you and annihilates any ongoing anxiety attacks

bite-my-grimy-fleshy-ass

Update update: comparing this to a long island is like comparing a pickup truck to a tank

#i love how it recommends you make your own sweet and sour mix because the store ones are 'loaded with sugar and additives'#it's mostly simple syrup that is literally just sugar water!#and are we really worrying about the healthiness of our booze bomb?#i'm hoping that line was a joke that just went over my head

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hollowboobtheory

I have to upload this as a video bc you can see her think this in real time

maraudingcaptain

OP you just can't leave out this golden comment

thesummoningdark

The last week has been so ridiculous even the satirists can’t take it any more

the-stray-liger

the fucking timestamp

garag344

German Suplex

(reference source)

#art art

teaboot

I live in the northwest coast of Canada so we walk everywhere and do stuff outside in the rain and swim in whatever lakes and rivers we find so imagine my smug sense of Canadian superiority when I met a USAmerican Midwesterner who was horrified at the very thought

And then I went to the USAmerican Midwest

And I understood

teaboot

What I mean to say is that it's very easy to delude yourself into believing you are more in tune with your environment when your environment is not actively hostile to your existence in every conceivable way

teaboot

BC, Canada:

Rains frequently, but the worst is like standing under a bathroom shower. Genuinely inhospitable rainstorms are uncommon.

Along the coast, it's pretty easy in most areas to walk to at least one store, or else there's usually a bus or shuttle available. There are sidewalks and bike lanes everywhere.

It's a temperate boreal rainforest, so while there are many freshwater lakes and rivers, they're usually pretty cold. The biggest danger is typically getting caught in a strong current, and the most dangerous animals in swimming distance are on land.

Earthquakes happen almost every day, but the vast majority go unnoticed. Buildings are designed to withstand bigger seismic activity, so unless it's a 5 or higher it just kind of feels like having low blood sugar for a second. There are no tornados

Rural Illinois, USA:

One minute it's sunny, then ten minutes later that distant smudge on the horizon has swallowed the entire sky in black clouds and the water is coming down like waterfall and you literally CANNOT SEE. Then there's a crash like cymbals and you need to get indoors because the thunder and lightening are on TOP of you

No sidewalks until you are in the smack dab center of town, which is a three hour walk or twenty minute drive from wherever you are.

There aren't many natural bodies of water other than small ponds and creeks, and because the environment is so much warmer, those are filled with snapping turtles that can grow bigger than a nine year old child and water snakes that are incredibly venomous. These are paired with leeches and mosquitos for that sweet umami flavor.

Sometimes Jupiter, Lord of the Heavens decides to jam his finger into the side of your house just to fuck with your whole shit and throws your truck a thousand yards into the nearest church

draconym

great work everyone hit the bathhouse

#but was the train ok?

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lesbianshepard

on my "don't walk to metlife" post I kept seeing people say that drivers would "bergentruck" pedestrians on the turnpike and it turns out that that's a reference to an Undertale meme where a character purposefully runs over people, but the portion of the jersey turnpike that goes to metlife is bergen county, and I had just instantly accepted that there was a term specifically referring to jersey drivers from there. I didn't even question it. Neither would you, if you had ever driven there.

lesbianshepard

posters: if you try to walk on the jersey turnpike they will bergentruck you without hesitation.

me, unfamiliar with undertale memes, but familiar with driving through north jersey: fuckin yeah they will.

bashcrandicoot

“I don’t know what my goals are, no. Thanks for asking.”

hiveswap

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

hiveswap

Don't forget to play it loud as fuck

kowai-kabuki-tanuki

please….listen to the whole thing. And imagine that you are IN SPACE in 1973 and you JUST woke up. Every time you adjust…it escalates somehow.

This song had to be designed in a lab for the sole purpose of fucking with astronauts. whoever added it to the NASA playlist was a genius.

hiveswap

It took them two tries to ban it?

omnia-mors-aequat-nstrwa

Joseph Plateau — Phenakistoscope art (1887)

#art art

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aorish-deactivated20251222

Recent discourse reminds me of that cult indoctrination trick that's often used to weed out more difficult marks early on, where they tell you all that you aren't allowed to eat rice on Tuesdays and then if you protest they go "wow SOMEBODY likes rice a little much huh" as if you're the fucking weirdo who cares too much about how much rice is consumed between Monday and Wednesday instead of them.

And this forces you to decide whether your autonomy matters to you more than the approval of the group - while they'll still act like you're on thin ice either way, if you give in at this point they know you're theirs forever, because now they've established a foothold, you've shown a moral weakness, which they will brand you with so it can be used against you in the future ("hey RICE-addict here doesn't want help break into the city records office") to force you to double-down and isolate you further.

And if instead you do decide to push back further, after your abrupt departure from the group ("You're seriously leaving us over RICE?!? Seriously?") and subsequent ostracism, you can then be used as a demonstration to the others who were more pliable, of how the outgroup is full of people like you who are obsessed with violating the No-Tuesday-Rice rule to the point where they'll abandon all their friends, who cared so much for them, so it clearly isn't an arbitrary restriction, you're the kind of monster these rules are intended to protect them from, thus all the other wise and esoteric precepts of the charismatic leader are implied to be equally justified.

doomhamster

This isn't just for cults either! Shitty partners, bosses, friends - they all do variants of this where if you kick back the first time they make an unreasonable request, it proves you weren't ever committed since you'd let such a small thing ruin everything. And of course, if it's the third or the tenth unreasonable thing they ask of you, it's SUCH A SMALL THING to be a deal-breaker at this late point in your relationship!

cerceos-deactivated20160308

Calvin and Hobbes - It’s July Already

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