i miss editing. i used to sit in after effects making elaborate cgi hallucinations like the government hired me to animate female suffering. i was famous on ig too. local celebrity to the 14 year olds with anime pfps. now i can’t even bring myself to make one good edit because the part of my brain that keyframes things has been replaced with tattoo appointments and financial dread. also my mac is dead because i pirated too much software and it took revenge. live long after effects. you ruined my posture and made me believe in art

i don’t

my artistic range begins at big boobed anime girls and ends at big boobed anime girls also why are all the moids tiny now I love Kenny dearly don’t get me wrong. i can comfort him. i can protect him emotionally. if he hears a strange noise at night i can investigate it. but if an intruder breaks in i’m pretty sure i’m getting assigned the tank role

which is crazy because i thought moids were originally designed for that Somewhere along the line they started filming tiktoks and reviewing keyboards

also enough with the cybersigilism tattoos Every time i open social media i see the same tattoo replicated 700 times like a bacterial colony Everyone wants to be unique in the exact same way social media has convinced people that downloading an aesthetic is the same thing as developing taste

let me tattoo a giant anime woman hanging from ropes with a dislocated jaw on you no one wants whimsy anymore Everyone wants to look like they got sponsored by the concept of black metal and wifi

i think my software was built around 2005 because i genuinely cannot keep up the updates are too frequent Every week there’s a new microculture with 14 rules and a uniform I miss when people just picked a weird thing and committed to it

i want to stay home with my boyfriend and sleep in the same bed in the same room in the same air for more than a handful of nights in a row I think people underestimate how much personality gets erased when you keep changing rooms. you start becoming whoever the temporary environment needs you to be

and then somehow society still expects you to feel stable and emotionally consistent while doing that I want shelves. i want permanence in objects. i want things to stop disappearing into bags every time my life “continues”

there’s also this thing where if you move enough you stop feeling like any place is actually yours and you just start borrowing reality and then you’re always slightly detached from everything and everyone is like “wow you’re so adaptable” which is just a polite way of saying you’ve been displaced too many times and then it just happens again anyway and you’re on a train or a plane like it’s muscle memory not choice