“The Office” Season 9 Sentence Starters
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“Just give me another chance.”
“How are you not murdered every hour?”
“Go buy the whole world a pie.”
“Why are you such a jerk?”
“You stupid, dumb, doo-doo face.”
“I wish my dad could see me now. Of course, he caused this whole mess, so. Fuck him.”
“You wouldn’t fart on a butterfly.”
“You were supposed to be my friend!”
“You’re not stupid. Jazz is stupid.”
“We hired someone to break your kneecaps.”
“Where are gay men’s vaginas?”
“When two gay men have sex, how will they know whose penis will open up to accept the other person’s penis?”
“You haven’t seen Die Hard?”
“You have never been cooler.”
“I wash my hands six times a day.”
“He’s a real catch, and you should take him back.”
“What would you say to you and me hitting the town? ‘Cause I’m free literally forever.”
“You’re waterboarding me!”
“Let’s give it a shot. Let’s make it work…I believe in us.”
“I’m gonna take that freak to Bone Town before the night is over.”
“You could make it in 30 minutes if you drove 240 miles per hour.”
“It was…like making love with a wild animal.”
“I usually take a siesta about now.”
“If that’s what you think, then this is a really sad night.”
“Hey, it’s just a tough situation, all right?”
“Thanks for being a good friend.”
“Imagine there are consequences to your actions.”
“All your friends are weirdos and freaks.”
“I belive in you. I believe in your art. And I am bored.”
“Who won the hugging contest? Let me guess, everyone tied for first.”
“If you ever need me, you just call me, and I’ll be there for you.”
“I don’t love you anymore.”
“I was worried that you were dead. You were gone for three months.”
“We have wasted too much of our lives ignoring the fact that we belong together.”
“I made a vow. I gave my word.”
“Stand by your man. It’s what I would want if you were mine.”
“I don’t need pity, and I don’t need charity.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve just waited for this moment my entire life.”
“You’re not going to live in a tent. Come stay with me.”
“I’m afraid that I’m not enough for you.”
“I will raise 100 children with 100 of your lovers if it means I can be with you!”
“One thing we do know: nothing will ever be the same.”
“Let’s get a drink in you, huh?”
“It’s like a long book that you never want to end.”
“I can’t be there for you. I’m sorry.”
“I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other.”
“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”
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