fed up

WAUGH I'm more than a little late for this, but holy shit it's been . Checks ask box . Over 4 years, now, that I've known you,,, you never have been Just xue yang to me, obviously, because all of us are our own separate people now in addition to kinning who we do, but I'm so so SO happy you're still like an older brother to me ( if only in a less tumultuous way, haha ! ) . I'm so happy that we found each other, and that we both took the jump to reach out to one another back when that happened ; even though life has happened and we've both only gotten busier over these last couple years, which means we've had less time to talk, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't in my life at this point—you mean so much to me, yanno . I'm really in awe of your strength sometimes ; how you always seem to find the drive to move forward, to keep going . Maybe that seems a little silly to say or something, but I really do mean it ! Though I don't mean to try and scare you with high expectations or anything, either ; even when times are tough and things have us both down, I still look up to you . I don't think that'll ever change

I kinda needed that last confession, too. I, uh. Obviously don't wanna be how I used to be, but in some ways I definitely still am. I'm trying not to let that define me, and most of the time it's been working, but now? I'm so, so tired. And even though I'm not, I feel lonely. And sometimes it feels like that's all there is.

WAAAAH I FEEL LIKE I'M LATE BECAUSE I SEND THIS IN SO MUCH EARLIER USUALLY but god . Over three years now we've known each other, that you've been one of my best friends and my brother,, it's such a treat to know you, and I wouldn't trade it for anything . It genuinely makes me happy that we found each other, really, and knowing that we'll continue makes me even happier ! Though maybe don't count on getting your candy back,,,,