𝑈𝑁 / HOLY .

“I went into churches because they were built from the heart. Improbable hearts that I had never understood before. Hearts so full of longing that these old stones still cry out with their extasy.”

Do not mistake me for my mask. You see light dappling on the water and forget the deep, cold dark beneath.

“…the aching, dark delight of embracing a sin.”

“I have been in a savage, turbulent state for some time — indulging in a sort of chronic disgust at everything & everybody —”

“I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.”

“Unwholesome thirst Stains my veins.”

“When you live in the dark for so long, you begin to love it. And it loves you back, and isn’t that the point? You think, the face turns to the shadows, and just as well. It accepts, it heals, it allows. But it also devours.”

“Sometimes I find myself sitting in one spot for hours, staring at nothing, thinking of nothing, feeling nothing, and most disturbingly, caring about nothing.”

“I burn, I freeze; I am never warm. I am rigid; I forgot softness because it did not serve me.”

“He looks like anybody you see on the street. But when he grins, birds fall dead off telephone lines. When he looks at you a certain way, your prostate goes bad and your urine burns. The grass yellows up and dies where he spits. He’s always outside. He came out of time. He doesn’t know himself.”