A Vanilla LIFE with a Side of Chaos

I know you read that title and are a little perplexed. You’re probably thinking, “Doesn’t this guy work with orphans?”

I do work with orphans. I also work with children who have been completely abandoned by their parents and families. I have never been more proud of the work our organization, myLIFEspeaks, is a part of...NEVER. Recently we went through a sizable shift in our focus of the work we do. You can read all about that on the mLs Tumblr. 

One thing we have chosen to pursue is Orphan PREVENTION. Prevention seems to be on so many people’s passion radar right now. We realized that we have spent as much (or probably more) time working to keep kids in their own homes with their own families than we do bringing into our care children who have been orphaned or abandoned; and we are very proud of that.

In Haiti (as well as in many poverty stricken countries throughout the world) orphanages are popping up in many areas. The promise of taking children and giving them a better life is so appealing to parents, especially parents who struggle to simply put food in their children’s mouths. Nevermind buying their children clothes, toys, phones, laptops, or music, these parents stuggle with food as a basic need simply because food is often out of the reach of many parents. 

When a parent sees no hope they turn to someone else. Many times that (false) hope is an orphanage. In Haiti, an orphanage is not what many think it is. An orphanage is not a place where cute little adoptable children, whose parents have died or gone missing, are able to live and eventually find a home with someone else. No, in Haiti an orphanage is a place for children to live. No adoptions await them. No better life is around the corner for many of these children. An orphanage is many times (not always) full of children whose parents just couldn’t take care of them any more. They are “poverty” orphans; given away because their familes could not or would not take care of them. The dirty little secret to so many of these places is the birth parents often come and visit the children, often on a very regular basis, and they have every right to do so! 

In Haiti, for a child to be adoped they must be placed into something called a crèche (the Kreyol word for crib or cradle). Once placed there the Haitian government works to ensure that the child is truly an orphan, has truly been abaondoned by parents unable or unfit to take care of a child, and has no one to take care of them in Haiti. This is something myLIFEspeaks is not a part of but we do understand and support the beauty of adoption and the wonder of creating families for children without them.

When a child has been truly orphaned or abandoned they become a part of the government’s responsibility. Many times the government of Haiti is so underfunded and unable to help because of their own lack of resources, they simply turn to local approved orphanages. When we receive a child at myLIFEspeaks, they have been placed through the Haitian government. We have chosen to never again accept a child who has a family. 

When we take a child that has a family we are going directly against what we believe is God’s plan for a child. When a child is able to reside with his or her family, they receive the love and care that an outsider of paid orphan care provider might never be able to give them. This has led us to choose to only work with true “orphans” and only through the government.

Stop and think about it for a moment. Why do places like the United States no longer have orphanages? They have seen the benefit of foster care for children and they work to reunite children with their living family members. 

We celebrate keeping families together. We celebrate with Jezula who works in our kitchen. She came to us wanting to “get rid of these horrible children” almost 3 years ago. The reality is the children weren’t horrible and neither was she. Jezula was simply doing what so many others have done for years. Turning to someone for help and she realized a hard and angry attitude would help further her cause. When we took her children for 30 days (only during the day and only for 30 days) we saw Jezula for who she truly is...a mother who loves her children but had NO options. She now has a job, a house, another baby and one on the way, and a hope in the TRUTH that she is a good mother. 

You can help change all of this. Find your place and plug in. Sure I’m going to recommend Haiti and more specifically myLIFEspeaks. I know what we do and I have committed my LIFE to making a difference. 

Maybe Haiti or myLIFEspeaks isn’t for you. That’s FINE!!! What you HAVE to do is get involved.

Here are a few ways to GET INVOLVED in changing the LIFE of a child.

VOLUNTEER! Spend time sharing what you know. Help parents become resourceful or better yet, use your own skills to train someone to be a better parent.

GO love on children. SHOW parents how to love. Imagine if you had grown up with the only physical touch being for discipline. Would you know how to hug a child and praise them for something? PARENTS need help.

GIVE. The hard part about all of this is it truly does take quite a bit of money to make things better. More than donations of “stuff” organizations need your financial help. Your finances help provide services (JOBS), training, education, respite care, and so much more to parents who are learning to keep their children in their own homes!

SPREAD THE WORD. That’s right. Use your VOICE to make a difference for those around the world that need help. SPEAK UP for those who can’t SPEAK for themselves. 

I hope to hear how you’re getting involved.

On a personal note we have adopted 2 girls from Haiti and both of them have living family members. We know families chose to give their children away to a crèche and both of our daughters now have a FAMILY that loves them and protects them. I believe in adoption and orphan care. I just don’t believe in keeping people enslaved to the thought of outsiders raising their children because they have the financial means to do so. 

Football, for most of us, is not life. We may get so emotional and invested in it many times that it seems as if it is nearly as valuable to us as anything else we hold dear. Truly, when we step...

We all get to pick sides. That's the greatest thing about having the freedom to do so...and I get to do that while living in a foreign country. While I personally thank God that social media wasn't around back in the 1900's when I was in college, I still know I had to eventually pay the consequences for some stupid choices. I can only imagine me being Instagrammed in some of my better days...

The truth is a funny thing, it'll come out. Penn State found that out years later. The comparison isn't in severity here, the comparison is a cover up is a cover up and "IF" (that's the sticking point here) the Garnet and Gold Gamemeister is truly guilty, it's going to come out.

What I truly hate is when the reality of LIFE comes down to how good our football team is doing. Seriously. Yes, I know I got a satellite subscription (in French) just so I could have ESPN during football season. I LOVE FOOTBALL (or American Football as it's called here in Futbol/soccer country). I also realize that LIFE happens all around and it's so much bigger than sports...and seeing good people get crazy makes me glad I only get one or two games a week...IN FRENCH.

I have to trust that we will find out the truth in due time. I disagree with so much about this case, the way it was handled, and about this person, but again, that's one of the greatest things about freedom...I get to do that. I get to dislike him...but I have to realize God still loves him and sees him for who he truly is.

I also disagree with other people...famous and not...and I KNOW people disagree with me. Our justice system might be flawed but it's what we have. Sometimes you literally can beat the system...but somewhere down the road...that TRUTH monster comes to show its ugly head.

As a parent it seems so easy to choose how to react...but it isn't. Until you've stepped into the severity of something like this, you have no clue how you'll act.

Some people championing the rights of the accused would turn and kill him in an instant if it were their daughter accusing. Many would choose to attack those that attacked her...I know that first hand. 

How do I know? When we brought our girls home from Haiti we received some encouraging emails...and we received some of the most vile and hate filled vitriol you could imagine. I chose to go after those people. I wanted to expose them to the world. I did a pretty good job and got one FB shut down. They had no clue what they were talking about and I did. 

I also know that the macho "If that happened to my kid, I'd kill somebody," is nothing more than bravado stuffing (just look at the initials of the last 2 words). You really DON'T know how you will react...trust me.

I also know that people DO get wrongfully accused and the same justice system that punishes the guilty also spares the innocent. The blessing is that TRUTH always wins. It seems like Jesus really did know what He was talking about when He shared the TRUTH with His Disciples, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Why am I so caught up in this? It's personal in a way. I've got issues. I know that. I see this hitting too close to home.

I'll keep my opinions to myself on whether I believe Mr. Heisman is innocent or not...unless I get called for jury duty.

So, here you go:

I posted a positive article in Number 5's defense at the intro.

Here's a different take:

How do you describe what the last 5 months have been like? The simple answer is…I can’t. So much has happened that I fully expected and even MORE has happened that I could NEVER have imagined.

Today, I am sitting in the myLIFEspeaks office on the Main Campus. I have internet, a fan, water, and electricity. I really have more than I could ever truly “need,” I have internet so strong I was able to watch some American Football on Saturday…and I haven’t missed a meal.

When we got off the plane as a family of 7 on May 28, I really thought I NEEDED more. I thought I needed things that would make my day more comfortable. As much as I hated to even imagine it then…my LIFE is so much better now. I have a healthy family, a truly supportive Rock Star wife, kids that are learning to live LIFE in Haiti alongside Haitian friends, a son who is living the dream at the University of Alabama, and I work with the greatest TEAM on the planet…oh yeah, and I haven’t missed a meal.

Some days I notice I get frustrated at things that normally would never have bothered me before we moved. Some days I’m amazed that things that would have driven me straight to crazy town, don’t really bother me. Today is a great example…I have seen the best and the worst of people. I saw an elderly woman in our office who just wants to provide for her family. I also saw friends of mine cover up something they did. I see God truly moving and shaping me and my family daily. He is providing for our needs…even when we were focused on our wants…oh yeah, and we haven’t missed a meal.

The weather. What can I say about the weather? It’s hot…no big surprise. It’s humid…or tropical as we like to call it. We have plenty of sunshine and no cold weather…unless you count the days when the temperature dips below 80 (or days spent traveling in US airports when the temperature is subarctic)…and I haven’t missed a meal.

I have seen grace and cynicism mix. In the midst of my heart going out to a young mother in labor the cynicism creeps in because she walks from her house to the myLIFEspeaks Campus to let her contractions be seen by everyone. Did she come here because this was a safe place or did she come here because the clinic told her she needed to go to the hospital to deliver the baby and she knows we have a vehicle? Yeah, those thoughts intermingle all the time. I see a child that is smiling, playing, laughing, and having the best time…then his or her mom tells me that she doesn’t have enough food to feed them. How can my heart not go out to them? Then I see mom buying the kids bon bons (snacks) with money she got somewhere. Am I seen as a target or a help? I have to answer these questions daily in my mind…and I haven’t missed a meal.

I ride to Port au Prince and I see kids on the street that I have started to recognize. I see the same ones at the same place. I see the system at work. They each have a corner, a territory, a neighborhood that they work. Some are washing windshields, some are begging, and some are trying to learn the hustle game. Meeting some of these kids made me realize LIFE in Haiti is difficult all over, not just in Neply. That realization is hard for a guy who spends his days trying to shine the light of truth and justice on this community. I see the plight of the people God has placed me with…and I haven’t missed a meal.

I have a house that I truly don’t deserve. I have bedrooms for our family and for others. The record so far is 18 people sleeping in our house one night. We now have electricity at night, something that I am reminded of each evening at dusk when someone screams, “we need electricity,” and I have to go turn on the generator. I have lights and fans for everyone. Sure, I wish I didn’t have to be concerned with the finances of running an operation in Haiti, 1500 miles away from what used to be home, but God continues to show up every month, RIGHT ON TIME…and I haven’t missed a meal.

Today is a day that ALWAYS humbles me. I mean one that TRULY makes me realize just how crazy this LIFE is that I am allowed to live.

This morning at 2:50 we celebrate 17 years of Lane's LIFE. That's about 16 years, 364 days, 23 hours, and 55 minutes more than he was supposed to live. Lane wasn't supposed to live to be this old and he wasn't supposed to be here now.

The "HERE" is what blows my mind. Here is home. Here is Haiti. Here is Neply. Here is in a place where Lane has been the catalyst for a new LIFE for so many people...our family, our friends, and an entire village here in Haiti.

Lane, I really do wish you would wake up today and read this blog...I don't know if I have ever expressed anything like that before out loud. I've thought it, but I've definitely never said it. 

I wish you could know how much you have changed so many people's lives...like mine. You have made me a better person Lane Wilson. You forced me to slow down, to speed up, and to hit my knees and have a faith that is SO MUCH BIGGER than anything I could have ever created on my own.

I believe I owe so much to you. I believe your LIFE has spoken to so many people that might never meet you in person but know all about you. 

If things were "normal" we would be talking about cars, your junior year of high school, and I'm sure you would complain that you need a new computer because your hand me down isn't working any more.

But, thankfully, things aren't "normal." Things with you are BEYOND Normal. With you, LIFE is both simple and complex. Your greatest desire is to be loved and to love others, and your iPod is a close second. 

*On a complete side note, can ANYONE explain why Apple has stopped making the "click wheel" iPod Classic? Lane can't use a touch screen!!! I wonder if they have a stash of old ones somewhere that I could invest in?

I know I have said this to you before and I don't know if you truly understand it or not, but I would never have chosen for your LIFE to be this way; and I hope you understand what I mean when I say, "I wouldn't change it if I could." You have been a God-send to me son and I love you even more for it.

So, as we used to say every October 4, 10-4 Good Buddy! Thanks for letting your LIFE speak to so many people and thanks for letting me be a part of it!

I LOVE YOU LANE!