you always smell like vanilla dipped donuts

Let’s face it- Waverly Earp did not, under any circumstances, have a normal upbringing. The things that Waverly experienced before the age of 6 are enough to give any person PTSD for life. Beyond non-demon circumstances, like her abusive alcoholic father, absent mother, and cruel eldest sister, Waverly also had to cope with the idea of demons, or as she was convinced through her teen years, the lack thereof. Today, we discuss Waverly’s traumatic childhood, outside of her family drama. For the sake of this series, we are going to be skipping around a little, between Waverly’s birth and her 20’s.

Right out the gate, we know Waverly was born under abnormal circumstances. Her father, an angel, was absent from the moment she was born. She was taken from her place of birth by Bobo, a demon, then given to Ward under threat. Although Waverly doesn’t find out about this encounter until season 3, it’s worth mentioning to add to the lore of her childhood.

Waverly’s mom gets sent to a psych ward before she turns 2. Michelle burns down the homestead barn during a failed exorcism attempt. Waves doesn't remember the burning of the homestead barn, or the night Mama goes away, but again, it’s worth including.

What Waverly does remember, however, was her father's behavior and talk about demons. We know that Ward was nonsensical, he would tell his daughters (before Waverly was even 6 years old) about the threat of demons. He would terrify his daughters from a young age with the constant stories and looming danger above their heads. Each of them coped differently. Waverly, however, was too young to understand the reality of demons, and how dangerous they truly were. Ward dies when Waverly is 6, but anything before that, she hardly remembers.

The night that Ward dies is something Waverly DOES remember. Vividly. It would be hard to forget watching your older sister kill your own father, then watch a group of bad men drag away your eldest sister. Waverly was probably too young to understand what it all meant, but one thing is for certain: she remembers those moments for the rest of her life.

But the demons? Waverly, as she grows older, can’t distinguish whether or not the demons were ever real. She’s haunted by nightmares as a child, vivid images of glowing eyes and sharp teeth, things that she had actually seen. Gus blows it off. She starts to tell Waverly that demons never existed.

When Wynonna gets sent to St. Victoria’s (the psych ward), that’s when it solidifies in young Waverly’s mind that demons weren’t even real, to begin with. That’s also when the inner turmoil begins; if demons were never real, why the vivid nightmares? Why did she wake up screaming in the middle of the night, seeing men with demonic shadows take away her sister?

As Waverly becomes a teen, the nightmares die down, but the underlying fear doesn’t go away. When Wynonna leaves, Waverly begins to worry. Without an older sister around, she worries about the past, she worries about being a target, defenseless. She starts to drive herself crazy with the idea of it- even when Gus tells her that demons aren’t real.

So what does she do? She digs her nose into books. She starts learning about ancient civilizations and dead languages. She learns every little detail about the history of Purgatory. She learns about the history of the Earps, about Wyatt, about his kills. Why? It makes her feel safe. She feels safe in knowing what’s around her. She feels safe in knowledge because what you’re educated about can’t hurt you. And that- THAT is her coping mechanism until Wynonna comes back to town and crashes her reality again.

Because suddenly, demons are real again. She’s been doing this research to make herself feel safe, even if she’s been told her whole life demons weren’t real. When Wynonna comes back, she can’t deny their existence any longer, and all the memories from her childhood come tumbling back. The nightmares start again. The feeling of unease starts again. Everything starts again, gets brought up to the surface. What she thought she had buried under years of research and reality comes bubbling back up, leaving her vulnerable at the start of season 1.

CONCLUSION?