Vanessa Rosseto's diary

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Como é que pode, cara? Eu não sou mais nenhuma adolescente - apesar de agir como uma de vez em quando - pra ficar passando por paixonite platônica. Quer dizer! Então você fica com o cara alguns meses e de repente tudo não passou de fantasia da sua cabeça? Como lidar? Alguém? hey! Help! Help que tá tenso! Eu realmente não consigo processar a informação de que eu fui tão louca a este ponto. Tá certo que sempre me apelidaram de louca, mas daí a imaginar coisas eu estaria em outro nível. Alucinações! Com certeza eu tive muitas! Porque não faz a porcaria do sentido! Quedêeeee Quedê sentido Brasil!?!?! Se eu tive alucinações sou o tipo de louca perigosa, né? OK. Vou parar de brincar com coisa séria. Mas é isso que passa pela minha cabeça. Que a culpa é minha, que eu vi coisa onde não tinha, que eu fui a errada. Meu Deus. †á certo não. Aliás, tem nada certo mesmo! Tudo que eu imaginei era mentira e parece que a grande questão nunca será realmente respondida. Você aí que tá lendo já passou por isso? Então me diz, o que você fez? Fez a superior e cagou? Tá, isso todo mundo diz pra fazer mas... E quando chega a madruga e vc tá morrendo de saudade, faz o q? Fica escutando os audios antigos como se isso fosse algum tipo de entorpecente que te deixa anestesiada por uns segundos? Ou vendo as fotos e lembrando de tudo lindo que vocês passaram? Vídeo então, vishhh... Não. Não dá pra continuar assim. Fingindo estar feliz durante o dia e chorando no travesseiro com saudade de alguém que NEM LEMBRA QUE VOCÊ EXISTE! Não pode! Não tá certo! E isso tem q parar já! Acho que a pessoa podia pelo menos ter a decência de chegar na minha cara e dizer a verdade direta. Nada de querer me poupar. Esse negócio de ficar poupando o outro me irrita e muito! Pq é mentira. Custa dizer: “Fía, nunca senti nada por você e nem vou sentir.” Acho que se eu escutasse isso seria muitoooo melhor pra tomar vergonha na cara e seguir em frente. Apesar de que eu continuaria sem entender o maldito porquê. Talvez ele até seja óbvio e eu só não enxergo por medo de doer, ainda mais. Não quero que doa mais não. Passa logo isso, passa. Dizem q passa, então passa POR#$!

Hey, how are you doing little diary? Are you fine? i know its been a long time now... but im here. Are u mad that i disappeared for so long? Pls, dont be. I always come back when i need you and im sure you only need me when i need you. The thing is, you are not a person, thats why you understand me, and thats why i love to write for you. i came back for a reason. Such a beautiful and amazing reason...  hahaha You know what im talking about.. yeah.. thats true. Seems like im falling in love again. And this time... seriously, i cant believe. its been so perfect, every moment, that i can’t even describe! C’mon, look at me, such a writer! hahaha usually i dont have any trouble in describing thoughts and feelings... but... this time... this time is different! The thing is, we all think the same fucking thing when we are in love with someone.. “ now its the love of my life!” but hey, thats not what im saying... actually, its too early to say it. But he’s too damn perfect to be true. I wish i could have this type of love for the rest of my life, and im not even saying with this person, but... this type of love. Im almost 30 years old and i never felt this way. A feeling that is so good that i cant describe, a smile that i cant take off my face, a dream to live living a dream. Theres only good energy, good care, good moments... I know... one day, something will happen and i will wake up, but right now, im so happy, right now im so full of joy, right now my only wish is to live this peace forever.... I wish he could be the one... he could feel the same way, he could be... <3

Fries #wow

:)

U better work b*tch (at Contemporâneo Hostel)

Gong hey fat choy! 恭禧發財 ! #happychinesenewyear to all my Chinese friends! #gongheyfatchoy

Primas tipo irmãs #casamento #fabianoelorena #bridesmaid #wedding #family #aboutlastnight #aboutlastparty #party #red #dress #smile #girls #happy

Weird feelings. Why do i still have it? My heart beats an inconstantly move thats complex, out of rhythm. When i look to the person i used to be in love, and i see what i see, seems like something is so wrong to me. Seems like i will always be a little broke. I gave so much, and he didnt feel the same way. He is so in love with his girlfriend, they seem to be such a happy and complete couple, they might marry one day. And i truly wish all the best. And no, i don't envy them. I don't wish anything bad to him. He was so special to me, to my life. Thats the point. He was. He is not anymore. But he was important! I wish i could still count on him. I wish we could be friends. I wish i have the same lucky to find a guy like him to me one day. But the point is...  I would like to have his friendship, i would like to meet her, to be friends. I know im needy and i dont know if its normal or not, but, i just feel like what we had was just an illusion. i was not important for him, i was just the brazilian, random girl, one more person that passes by and no need to stay, like i have nothing to add, nothing to feel, nothing at all. 

Cause every time i see your figure my heartbeat goes faster, its already been years but you still complete my mind. I dont understand, what you made, its a disaster, but its here, its live. Seems like this is true love, that you are the one and only, I know it has been so long, you are not mine any longer. You say you are ok, you dont talk to me, you must be in love with someone else. It makes me feel so dumb, such a fool, but im sure she doesn't love you the way i do. I hope you give me at least the last bit of your attention, its the only thing i can wait from you, from love. 

Yeah I'm living. You too. I'm not sure who's living best. I'm just, living. The thing is, i will always feel a little empty, a little sick. I'll always cry a bit, miss a bit. I'm not sure when this emptiness will ever go away from my heart. But the beauty of my love, is so strong, is so powerful. I believe in art, and, in some kind of way, this sense of waves will appear one day for a random human think ad appreciate.

Não faz parte, não é arte! Um pedido calado e gritante de socorro uivante quieto no desespero.  Ninguém liga, ninguém ouve, ninguém se importa. Só com a continuidade da infinita mentira de uma vida sem glória. 

Ice ring with my BFF MI #langkawi #malaysia #bdbnomundo #vanessarosseto #trip #beach #awesome #instafriends #girls #fun #smile #instatravel #instaasia #asia

#ligação #lastcall #adios #adeus #goodbye #end #oneofakind #fim