Vampire Knight Analysis

Vampire Knight, Ch 66 - 93.

"But I can't tell if you truly love me or not."

Kaname asks for Yuki's honest feelings outright and here Yuki delivers. She has come to terms with who Kaname is to her. He is her ancestor, her brother, and her upperclassman. He is everything, all at once.

Yuki admits here that she knows Kaname is a liar, that he even has wickedness in him and the things he is capable of doing, that he always keeps so much hidden from her. And, most of all, she is conflicted over his true feelings for her. Does he truly love her? She questions it. Has questioned it multiple times. She is conflicted and tells herself that she knows he does. Maybe it's him who is conflicted. Something is holding him back from fully loving her in return.

"I want to start over again with you as if it were the very beginning."

In the end Yuki tells Kaname that what she truly wants is to start over. A new beginning. She wants the opportunity to establish who and what they would become now, from a fresh start.

"Please... don't go out today."

But there is something dark in Kaname's reply to her, something that Yuki senses. It makes her apprehensive and she begs him to please stay home with her. Spend time with her. Don't go. And when Kaname leaves anyway, she decides to chase after him.

"My head is full of white noise."

After Yuki witnesses Kaname kill Aido's father, she is in shock. She can't bear the weight of what she'd just seen and she can't wrap her head around why Kaname would ever do such a thing. Not only that, she'd just opened up to him about wanting to start fresh. She wanted them to get to know each other and strengthen their relationship. She wanted to engrave herself into Kaname. She is so distraught and desperate that her powers manifest butterfly wings for her to pursue him.

"If it really is you [Kaname], just stop!"

However, Yuki soon learns from Headmaster Kaien that the treaty between the Hunter's Guild and the vampires will soon fall into chaos after what Kaname has done and his sudden disappearance. Yuki must step up as the new leader to set things right or otherwise many lives will be in jeopardy. She accepts the responsibility. But then she breaks down when hearing news that Kaname may have been the one to kill the pureblood Ouri at the soiree. She desperately wants time to stop or for Kaname to stop because she's so overwhelmed with grief.

"He isn't wholly tainted..."

Yuki is seen struggling with her faith in Kaname during this time. We see her overwhelmed, begging Kaname to stop. Then we see her saying she trusts Kaname and is suspicious of Sara. Here, we get a deeper look into Yuki's struggles. She desperately wants to have faith and trust in Kaname. She wants to believe there has to be some explanation for what he is doing. When learning that Sara was the one who attacked Hanadagi in his coffin, it gives her hope. She was starting to question if Kaname was fully tainted—if he had gone too far—and here she clings onto hope that things can be salvaged.

"If I get to the heart of the matter, I'm sure I'll find that Kaname is doing this for me."

Until Yuki learns what Kaname did to Zero and his family. She breaks down and takes the blame entirely. She believes that at the heart of it all, Kaname is doing all of this for her. She is the reason all of this is happening.

"Then pierce my heart with your sword like you promised back then."

Yuki goes after Kaname and for the very first time—she seeks death. She wants Kaname to kill her. She knows she can't kill Kaname, that she doesn't have the heart for it. So she wants the alternative. She wants to die by his hands.

"My beloved's fingers may never slide through my hair again."

But Kaname won't kill her. He disappears and Yuki must give chase. Then, in front of him, she cuts her hair and tells him that her burden is gone and she will fight alongside Zero to capture him.

"You must impale my heart if you want to kill me!"

However, we very clearly see that Yuki still wants death. Ultimately, she is seeking for Kaname to kill her. She can't live with herself and what's happened. And she understands, deep down, that she will never be able to give her bond with Kaname up.

"The only way I can stop Kaname... is to turn him into a human."

After Yuki learns more of the reasoning behind Kaname's actions and most of the hunter weapons are destroyed, she comes to the conclusion that the only way she can stop Kaname is to make him human. She can't kill Kaname and she's come to the conclusion that she can no longer end her own life—unless it is to put a stop to Kaname's plan.

"When I woke up eleven years ago on that snowy mountain... that's when your lies began."

Yuki finally reunites with Kaname and learns that he never actually killed Aido's father. Instead, he'd used that farce as a means to drive Yuki away from him so he could move forward with his plans.

Yuki explains here what she wished he would have done. She wishes that he would have just taken Zero's memories from her so they could live happily together for eternity. But Kaname tells her he came to realize that his love couldn't truly make her happy.

"You want to expression your love. I'll teach you, Yuki… if you will have me."

Kaname regrets not turning Yuki back into a human so she could live the rest of her life out peacefully with Zero. And now he is going to give his life to the furnace. Meanwhile, Yuki wants to sacrifice her life to give Kaname a life as a human. The two sleep together to show their love because they both feel it is the end.

"Do you want the humans to lose the only weapon they'll have to fight vampires?"

Would she really be okay with that? Kaname asks Yuki. And the answer is yes. While Yuki never directly confirms this—her actions do. What is most important to her is turning Kaname human and allowing him to live out the rest of his life in peace. If the next generation of vampire-fighting weapons becomes forfeit over that: so be it. Yuki likely assumes there is good in the vampires and the Hunters & Vampires will be able to find a way to co-exist peacefully without the need for the weapons.

"If I hadn't been born, if I hadn't existed... everything would have turned out differently for you!"

After Yuki fails to sacrifice herself and turn Kaname human, and he throws his heart into the furnace, she breaks down. Here we see that she blames herself entirely and wishes she had never been born. If she hadn't been born, then she believes Kaname wouldn't have come to this end.

"No… I can't imagine a world in which I'll never hear your voice."

Even after Kaname reassures Yuki that he didn't live an unhappy life—because of her—Yuki can't imagine having to live the rest of her pureblood eternity without him. Never being able to hear his voice again. She is completely shattered.

Vampire Knight, Ch 36 - 66.

"I've always been in love with my own brother."

And here we begin to see a shift in Yuki's emotions. Now that she has regained her memories, and believes that Kaname is her brother, she starts to struggle with the fact that she is in love with him. Yuki understands that it is the tradition of the purebloods. It's not something alarming or new to her. But, she has spent so many years as a human that it's complicated her feelings about it.

"It will be all right... brother."

We see the very first instance where Yuki initiates things with Kaname herself. After her awakening and the return of her memories, she finally is able to embrace and kiss Kaname on more equal terms. Something she has struggled with up until this point in the series. However what we also see here from Yuki is the continued pressure of her conflicted feelings about him being her brother. She reminds herself and even corrects herself on numerous occasions: "Kaname—no, my brother".

"I want only my big brother's blood. It fills my head."

Again, Yuki reinforces that during this time Kaname's blood is the only blood she craves. The thought of drinking his blood consumes her mind. Her hunger for it.

"I realized I'm different from how I was ten years ago…"

Here Yuki gives us more insight on the internal workings of her mind. She has come to realize that she's not the same Yuki Kuran she was ten years ago, before her memories were taken. She's lived ten years as human Yuki Cross and now that leaves her feeling uncomfortable. She's changed. And, in her ignorance, she lived her life so carefree never knowing all the pain and loneliness she was causing Kaname.

"What kind of world has he been forced to face all alone?"

When Kaname opens up to Yuki and admits to everything he's done and kept hidden from her, Yuki struggles with both anger and sadness. But she puts aside her own emotions to support Kaname. Because she empathizes with everything he's had to endure alone. She wants to be there for him. She feels she has committed sins in her ignorance over the past ten years living as Yuki Cross. She also feels responsible for the sins that Kaname has just admitted to—believing he's done everything for her sake. So she tells him that she is more than willing to become tainted with him. To fall to the very bottom, if that is where he will go.

"I wonder why that beast inside you craves my blood so much."

We get a scene six-months into the year at the manor and we see that the "beast" side of Yuki (her vampire side) craves Kaname's blood. Over the year, we see that Yuki does write letters back to her old friends and old life as Yuki Cross but she doesn't send any of them. When asked why she says, "I want to cherish my time with Kaname-sama now." She wants to make up for their lost time—for those 10 years.

"Is it wrong? To want him by my side because I don't want to spend eternity alone?"

Here we get more insight to what is happening internally with Yuki as she struggles to accept the vampire side of herself. Yuki is scared of what eternal life means and the unimaginable loneliness that could come with it. The "beast" side of her wants to devour Kaname's life and feelings. Yuki is scared of this side of herself and has been repressing it.

"Should I even be here with you?"

Here we get a deeper insight of Yuki's guilt. While she desperately yearns for Kaname's blood and wants to devour him whole, she also experiences a thirst for Zero. This shakes Yuki to her core and makes her feel incredibly guilty and unworthy of Kaname. She's very angry with herself, feeling like she is putting too much burden on Kaname's shoulders, making him pamper her. She's frustrated with her inability to use her fangs and for not only craving his blood. These feelings make her question her worth; whether she is worthy to be by Kaname's side, to hold him, kiss him, and worthy of his feelings.

"I want you to drink only my blood."

Because of Yuki's turmoil and guilt, Kaname gives her a way to take responsibility. He tells her to only ever drink his blood. That is his one condition, and this helps Yuki cope. A bit later she is feeling much better, much more confident, and tells Kaname she finally sees the path she should be taking.

"Feeling lonely?"

The story has shown us that a lot of the time while Yuki is isolated in the manor, Kaname is busy elsewhere. And Yuki confirms that she is lonely and wishes that he was around more often. As she has stated prior, she really wants her time here to be about her and Kaname making up lost time.

"What happened to him?"

Yuki has commented a few times since regaining her memories that Kaname has changed from who he once was 10 years ago. He's full of sadness and despair. Here we see Yuki's deeper thoughts on it. She doesn't understand what's happened to him over the years she lived in ignorance. And she wonders if its her. If she has disappointed him so thoroughly that even her "coming back" isn't enough.

"Become his equal."

Yuki believes that Kaname giving her Artemis and sharing his memories with her was his way of telling her it was time to advance. To become his equal and graduate from being the baby pureblood. After learning the truth about his past, Kaname asks Yuki if she still considers him her brother and she decides to call him "Kaname" from now on. On equal grounds. And that is what she wants to achieve.

"The name that was given to him by that woman from the past."

Yuki has a moment of jealousy when she tries to call Kaname by his name without the honorific attached. Because the name given to him by the first woman Kaname had developed affections for.

Vampire Knight, Ch 13 - 36.

"He realizes what's happened… don't look!"

Regardless of Yuki's conviction to help Zero, the story reveals her struggles with guilt over the decision. Yuki desperately does not want Kaname to find out that she is letting Zero take her blood. She doesn't want to do anything Kaname would disapprove of, so she wants to hide it. While Yuki denies wanting to give her blood to Kaname, Zero insists that she hasn't truly sorted out her feelings on it.

"Sometimes I have my doubts... but I trust him. Even if he were to double-cross me... I'd be fine with it."

Yuki does sometimes doubt Kaname's intentions and she has also considered the thought that he may someday betray her. Regardless, she trusts him. And even if he were to betray her, she knows it wouldn't change her feelings toward him.

"I knew he was beyond my reach. I knew it, but…"

When the pureblood Sara enters the scene and interacts with Kaname, Yuki immediately runs back into the room to hide. Here we see that while Yuki believes her and Kaname live in two different worlds, she has always hoped for something more to come between them.

"Yes. I'll do anything... for Kaname-sama."

Kaname reenters the room and pushes Yuki onto the bed, scolding her for leaving. Yuki tells us here that she is unconditionally willing to do anything for him. And it is here that Yuki admits something for the first time: despite telling herself to be content with admiring/loving Kaname from afar, she has never been able to release her secret hope for them to be something more.

"This... This is my dearest wish..."

Kaname asks Yuki if she will become a vampire for him. And this is Yuki's deepest wish. If she becomes a vampire the two of them will no longer be world's apart. She would be able to be with him.

"Kaname... are you the one who took away my memories?"

Later when Yuki begins to suspect that someone has taken away her memories, we see the duality of her thoughts. On one hand she wants to believe that Kaname would never be the one behind it, but on the other hand she has her doubts. Initially, she wants to confront Kaname directly. But in the end she can't do it: she wants to believe in him (trust him) no matter what.

"Before, I tried not to think about Kaname and me."

The dynamics between Kaname and Yuki have slowly shifted. He has gotten closer to her: asked her to become a vampire for him and has told her that he loves her. Yuki begins to struggle with her want to be with him. To give in to her desires despite them being different beings.

"If I start thinking about him, he's all I think about if I'm not careful."

Here we get insight into how all-consuming her love for Kaname can be. Yuki expresses that if she were to allow herself, she could become obsessive and lose herself entirely. Kaname means the world to her and she has stated numerous times that she would do anything for him.

It's also important to note here that Yuki asks Zero to come with her the next time she confronts Kaname about the questions she needs answered. Because she knows she can lose herself.

"Even if you were the same vampire who tried to devour me back then."

Yuki admits that even if Kaname had been the vampire who tried to eat her in the snow that day, she would still give herself to him unconditionally.

And here we see that Yuki begins to lose herself and Zero steps in to remind her to stay on track. Yuki is finally able to ask Kaname: "Do you have something to do with my forgotten past?"

"Why do you care for me so deeply and try so hard to keep things from me?"

At this point in the story, Yuki begins to realize just how much Kaname hides from her, just how much he evades things. In particular, right now, with her past. The scenes show us that Yuki is fully aware he is using their bond with each other, and her feelings for him, to evade giving her the answers she's asking for.

"How do you truly feel... about me?"

As an overwhelmed Yuki passes out, we get an insight to her true state of insecurity here: Yuki doesn't entirely believe that Kaname loves her. She doesn't understand his actions and she questions here how Kaname truly feels about her. Because of these insecurities she also doesn't know if she is worthy to love him.

"I only want this man's blood."

After Kaname awakens Yuki, she desperately craves Kaname's blood. As she drinks from him she tells us that his blood is flooding through her and she feels like they are one; essentially she can no longer distinguish the boundaries separating them.

Vampire Knight, Ch 1 - 12.

Before the story of Vampire Knight begins, Yuki's earliest memory is from when she was five years old. She remembers being rescued by Kaname from a dangerous vampire. Little by little, Yuki becomes very attached to Kaname. As she grows up, she looks forward to every visit from him. He comes to see her on her birthday every year, and it becomes a special tradition she always waits for.

For five years, Yuki remained close to Kaname. But after her 10th birthday, everything changed. When she saw Kaname drinking blood from another, it brought back the trauma she had been burying. From that moment on, Yuki grew distant. Her insecurities started to grow, and she felt like she and Kaname were worlds apart.

By the start of Vampire Knight, Yuki is shown to idolize Kaname, viewing him as her hero, the person who had saved her life. And an example that not all vampires are bad. It is because of him that she truly believes and wishes that humans and vampires can live in harmony.

"Kaname is different!"

"The world he lives in… is so different from mine."

Despite her clear idolization of him, Yuki finds it difficult to truly get closer to him. She is formal with Kaname and tends to admire him from a distance. She believes Kaname's world is very different to her own.

"I'm like a stray dog or cat to Kaname."

Yuki's peers often hint or even directly say that Kaname has affection for her, and Kaname himself has told Yuki that she is his dear girl, Yuki herself struggles to accept it. She sees a very clear line between vampires and humans. In her eyes, Kaname cares for her the way someone might care for a beloved pet. She feels like their worlds are far too different. These are her insecurities.

"Ever since we've known each other, I've been a little afraid of you…"

During the scene where Yuki learns that Kaname is a pureblood vampire, Kaname asks her "Are you afraid [of me]?". Here, Yuki reveals that even though she regards Kaname as her hero and idolizes him, a part of her has always been afraid of him.

"I wonder when… you stopped telling me everything, Yuki."

When Yuki was younger she used to confide in Kaname. They used to be very close. However, after the day she saw Kaname drinking from Ruka, things between them changed. That formal distance has grown between them and Yuki began to idolize him from afar.

"Even if Kaname-sama is different, I still love him…"

However, regardless of the distance and the changes that have happened since that day, Yuki's feelings for him have remained unmoved. She loves him.

Vampire Knight, Ch 89 - 93.

"What would we have been like?"

After the masquerade, Yuki contends with the plan she has formulated in her mind. What she feels she must do, and her ending in all of this. For a moment, she confides in Zero her deeper feelings. She anguishes over the "what ifs", fantasizing of a life where they were all simply human, living out their normal lives together.

Yuki exposes to Zero the desires she holds for them: being given the chance to naturally form her love and attachment to him, as a regular high school student. This moment also clearly conveys to the reader Yuki's wish. A life free of this oppression, free of species differences, and one where all of them—Kaname included—could all live happily and in peace.

"Zero... Zero... Zero..."

Knowing what she is about to do, what she is about to take from Zero, she reaches for him, touching him all over in a poignant moment of true agony.

"I can't go on unless I do this."

Yuki forcefully erases Zero's memories of her, believing that it will truly set him free. Free of his bloodlust and give him an ability to live his life, to the fullest he is able, if he has no recollection of her in his memories.

She knows that she cannot leave Zero in perpetual hunger for her just as equally as she knows that she must save Kaname by sacrificing herself to turn him human. This is the fate she must take.

Tears stream down her face in the aftermath, showcasing how difficult a burden taking Zero's memories of her away it is for her to bear.

"He's here..."

Yuki, now back with Kaname, sits curled up in the bed, turmoil in her heart as she senses Zero now in the vicinity. She doesn't want to have to face him again. It's difficult for her to face the reality of what she's done.

"We... aren't worthy of his company."

When Kaname forcefully brings Yuki to see Zero, Yuki admits that she believes neither she nor Kaname are worthy of Zero anymore. She feels they have hurt him beyond repair and sees them both as corrupt, responsible for Zero's pain and suffering.

"We can never go back..."

As Kaname continues to test the limits of Yuki's erasure of Zero's memories, Yuki grows angry and upset with Kaname's blatant disregard for Zero. She tells Kaname the truth she has already accepted—that things can never return to how they were. The peaceful past of just a few years ago is now shattered beyond repair.

"Have you... remembered?"

For a moment, Yuki looks on in complete horror at the possibility of Zero remembering her and all her plans falling apart. When Kaname was about to turn her human and erase her memories of him, she reveals in that crucial moment how guilty she feels in all of this and that the last thing she wants to do is run away. Not after everything she's done, not after everything that has happened. She can no longer live with herself.

"If... I hadn't been born... if I hadn't existed... everything would have turned out differently for you!"

Just as Yuki believes that all of Zero's suffering and pain are her fault, she also feels responsible for Kaname's tragedy. She feels hopeless, believing she has completely destroyed the two people who mean the most to her.

"Only before this thirst turns me to dust... tell me you will."

Sometime after Kaname gives his heart to the furnace, Zero comes to Yuki to tell her to consider Kaname's words. To forgive herself and allow herself to be in a relationship with him.

However, Yuki is far too broken. She is completely shattered in the aftermath of everything that has happened to her and losing Kaname.

Vampire Knight, Ch 73 - 88.

"You don't need Zero, do you?"

When Maria asks Yuki about her feelings for Zero and if she still needs him, Yuki can only respond one way. It’s not that she no longer needs Zero, but that they have become enemies. More specifically, she believes Zero sees her—a pureblood—as his enemy.

"I can't even use my fangs to take what I want."

Yuki comes to an impasse with herself as her thoughts reveal that she wants to drink from Zero. However, her promise to Kaname means a lot to her and she wants to take it seriously. Yuki believes her place is beside Kaname and she wants to pull herself together.

"Zero... I want us to talk like we did before."

However, Yuki soon caves underneath her own wants. Soon after, she confesses to Zero that she wants things to return to how they were before. She misses their previous bond, those memories, and time.

"Why is it... we must always hurt each other... to move forward."

Zero, noticing Yuki's obvious bloodlust, offers her his blood and threatens to shut down the school if she refuses. Yuki reflects that, just like her, Zero is now forcing something on her against her will. Their dynamic has completely reversed, and Yuki now finds herself needing Zero's blood.

"l just wanted to take a good look at the person whose blood I'm going to drink..."

Yuki changes her resolve, deciding to accept part of her new reality. She doesn't take Zero's blood out of weakness but makes it clear to both of them that she is fully in control of her choice. She wants to drink from him and is ready to do so, now that she is coming to terms with the fact that things will never go back to how they were before.

"The moment I sank my fangs into Zero's neck... my head suddenly cooled."

Yuki confirms that, for the very first time, she has been completely satiated as soon as she had taken Zero's blood. Her mind was instantly cooled, her thirst quenched. Having that moment of peace leaves her shaken and wondering: "Zero, how do you... control your thirst...?" Signifying the sheer internal agony she herself had experienced all of this time.

"It will be okay. I just need to start over from scratch."

Yuki desperately wants to start anew with Zero. She wants a seconds chance with him, an ability for the two of them to forge another connection much like the one they'd had before. But this time with her being her true self, as a Pureblood.

"You're one of the kindest people I've ever met."

Despite Zero's adamance on him wanting to rid the world of every last Pureblood vampire, Yuki reaches a point where she realizes the feelings hidden behind Zero's lies. She realizes that Zero doesn't want them to die. He doesn't want her to die. He's too soft, too kind, and that makes her worried for his well-being in all of this.

"l've always known... that Zero has wished... for my happiness."

During the time they shared over a year ago and how close she had gotten to him, Yuki feels as though she knows Zero inside and out. Yet, she doesn't fully know or understand Kaname at all.

"l'm sure that Kaname is doing this for me."

When Yuki learns of what Kaname has done to Zero, she turns the blame on herself. She comes to believe that all of this is her fault and that Kaname must have taken these actions for her own benefit.

"I can't... spend my life with you. I belong to Kaname..."

Yuki takes the time to speak in depth with Zero about her feelings and where she stands with him in their relationship. She is forthright in explaining to him that they do not have a future together—she belongs to Kaname.

After drinking from Zero, Yuki is still showing no further signs of bloodlust. Even though she has been recently drained of blood herself, the manga demonstrates that drinking Zero's blood has completely satisfied her and that this effect lasts for a long time. Even when her blood supply is low and she needs to drink, she still shows no signs of bloodlust.

Once again, Yuki showcases her depth of knowledge when it comes to experiencing the hunger. She sympathizes deeply with Zero over his hunger for her blood.

"That's why..."

Yuki feels that both she and Zero have put up masks over their hearts, hiding their true emotions from each other to cope with what they have to face. She struggles with this reality and feels like she doesn't belong in Zero's world, even though she desperately wants to start over with him.

"A boy I cherish... and love."

During their time together at the dance, Yuki laminates over her feelings. Her desire for things to be different, and her deep remorse toward the way things have turned out. Here, for the first time, she admits to herself that she loves Zero as well.

Vampire Knight, Ch 47 - 72.

"I know that... half your heart is still connected to him."

Kaname vocally confirms what the manga has already shown us up until this point: Zero holds a deep place in Yuki's heart and has become incredibly important to her.

"I wonder what... you're thinking about right now..."

A year passes by and we see right away that Zero is still on Yuki's mind and in her heart.

"It's like he said. A part of my heart is still..."

Yuki has been struggling with her bloodlust for the past year. Her vampire side's dark desires have made it hard for her to use her fangs. Despite this, Kaname continues to feed her his blood, noting that she seems to have an insatiable craving for it. It’s revealed that her craving is tied to her desire for Zero’s blood as well.

"Vampires can only quench their thirst with the blood of the one they love..."

Yuki admits that she knows half of her heart belongs to Zero. Kaname explains that this is because Yuki loves Zero, and Yuki tearfully confirms it. She feels like she is betraying Kaname and that she is unworthy of him.

The manga shows that Yuki loves both Kaname and Zero. Kaname tells her that, no matter who she chose to be with, she would have struggled because part of her love also belongs to Kaname.

"I want you to drink only my blood. That is how you take responsibility."

At this point, Yuki agrees to only drink Kaname's blood, from now until forever, as a way to take responsibility for having love for Zero in her heart.

And Yuki finds solace in that punishment and responsibility. It helps to lift her spirits and take away the edge of the guilt.

When attending her first outing, the first person Yuki's gaze seeks out in a crowded room is none other than Zero. And, at the first opportunity, she reaches out to touch him. Yuki's craving for Zero's companionship is unquestionable.

"A scent that... recalls memories..."

When injured, Yuki is allured by the scent of Zero's blood. In a trance like state, she almost bites him. At the last minute, she pulls away to look at him, coming back to her senses.

"I'm still bungling up things, aren't I?"

Yuki's guilt and her obligation to only drink from Kaname stop her. She flees, trapped in her own failings and inadequacies, begging for Kaname to take her home and punish her for what she had nearly given into.

"Zero is falling to Level E."

Yuki becomes aware of Zero's condition and the fact that he is falling to Level E. Although she suspects it is because he is craving her blood, she initially denies it, telling herself that Zero must have let go of those previous feelings for her when he learned she was a Pureblood.

While now having to remain in the same vicinity as Zero, Yuki begins to struggle with her thirst for blood.

Vampire Knight, Ch 30 - 47.

"Make sure I don't run away, Zero."

Still determined to uncover her lost memories, Yuki realizes she doesn’t have the courage to confront Kaname and demand the answers she needs. Instead, she turns to Zero again, confiding in him and asking for his help when she faces Kaname. She starts to rely on him more and more, a change from how she used to keep everything bottled up inside.

"But I wonder why... I don't feel scared."

Yuki slowly begins to come to the realization that her closeness with Zero has given her a sense of security. Even though Zero is a vampire and drinks from her, she has stopped being afraid of him. However, she still fears Kaname as a vampire because he has always held himself away at a distance.

"I'm the one... you can't escape from."

As Yuki gets closer to uncovering her past, she has a vulnerable moment with Zero. She confides in him, revealing that by making herself essential to him—by making him need and rely on her—she feels she can finally find a sense of purpose. She admits that being by Zero's side wasn't about selflessness but about her own need to feel invaluable.

"It sounds... as if... you're desperately telling me that you need me."

It is Zero's speech here that reveals the truth behind Yuki's words. Yuki is in fact telling Zero that she has come to desperately rely on him for her own sanity and happiness. Because of how unreachable Kaname has always been, he hasn't been able to be the solid foundation of support she's desperately needed all of this time, and Zero has filled that role in her heart.

"Zero, I'm really sorry... for what I did."

But, it is Zero's denial of Yuki's feelings here that causes her to withdraw and bottle everything up once more, dealing with everything alone.

"Then... what about that time?"

As Yuki stands on the brink of embracing her true self, she reflects on the changes in her heart. For years, she had been deeply driven by her desire to be seen favorably by Kaname. But now, Zero has also become a significant part of her heart. Somewhere along the way, she had become okay with upsetting or angering Kaname and disappointing him because she is desperate to keep Zero alive and close to her. She needs Zero, and wants to be needed by him. Yet, she feels trapped in the selfishness of her own actions and the suffering she has brought to Zero.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry."

Upon Yuki's full transformation back into a pureblood, she fills with distraught and guilt over her betrayal to Zero.

"I have no right... to worry about him anymore."

Despite these feelings, Yuki finds herself at his door, seeking out Zero with hope in her heart.

But that hope is instantly shattered when she hears Zero's response to her presence on the other side of the door. His hatred for her and for purebloods breaks her heart, and she leaves with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Is the Yuki I know... still part of you?"

After the battle, when Zero pulls Yuki into his arms and shows his inner conflict about her "human" side, Yuki becomes emotional and breaks down. She opens up to him, sharing the truth about her transformation and the struggles she has faced. Even in this moment, Yuki finds comfort in confiding in Zero.

"If having an enemy... gives you a reason to live."

At their farewell, Yuki still holds onto her care for Zero to keep on living. Her current situation severely limits her and she grabs onto the idea that she will be Zero's enemy and elude him if that is what keeps him living on.

But, it isn't something she wants. It isn't how she wanted things to turn out between her and Zero.

"Always... he was... always."

It is in this moment that Yuki realizes Zero's feelings for her. However, like Romeo and Juliet, their fates keep them apart. Yuki is torn apart by the guilt of being a vampire and causing Zero such suffering in her ignorance.

In the end, she leaves with Kaname and quietly bids Zero a final farewell.

Vampire Knight, Ch 1 - 29.

"I was so desperate to help."

Prior to the start of Vampire Knight, Yuki repeatedly suffered through night terrors over the vampire attack. It wasn't until Zero came to live with her that the night terrors stopped. Yuki found purpose in helping someone else. She felt a compelling drive to be there for Zero, desperate to help the suffering she could see before her eyes.

"You're like... a younger brother who needs looking after."

At the start of Vampire Knight, Yuki feels a brotherly affection for Zero. She wants to be there for him, offering comfort and companionship, because she believes he doesn't take care of himself.

"I can feel... the pain that you are hiding."

Yuki and Zero's relationship starts to change when Yuki learns how deeply Zero has been suffering. She discovers that he has been in pain for four years, that he is a vampire—which he despises—and that he wants to die.

"Drink my blood, Zero. You'll feel better... if only for a little while."

Overwhelmed by this, Yuki throws herself into trying to become his salvation and save him. Even knowing how much Zero will hate himself for it, she pleads with him to drink her blood. She refuses to let him end his life.

"That's because... I want you to smile too."

During this time, Yuki focuses entirely on Zero, often urging him to drink her blood. She tells him she is trying to stay cheerful for his sake, hoping to make him happier and help him smile again.

Her empathy and selflessness seem limitless. She even offers herself to Maria/Shizuka in exchange for information on how to save Zero. Determined to save him, she stands in his way when he tries to take revenge on Shizuka, using her bracelet to try to subdue him, wanting to force him to drink Shizuka's pureblood.

A conversation with Shizuka reveals to us that Yuki is self-aware that her efforts to save Zero have also caused him pain and suffering. She understands that her actions have been more about what she wants than what Zero wants.

"This is what I've always feared."

Ever since realizing the depths of Zero's pain and self-hatred, Yuki has become terrified of him ending his own life, and has gone to great lengths to prevent him from going down the route of suicide. This leads to a moment where Zero, confused by her desperation and concern, embraces her. But it’s her genuine care that makes him promise to stay alive and come back to her, even after killing Shizuka.

"If you bit me and drank my blood, wouldn't you get better right away?"

Even after the death of Shizuka, Yuki remains adamant on being Zero's permanent food source, gifting him her blood for the rest of her life in hopes of it preventing him from falling to Level E.

She takes time to talk with Zero, telling him she's glad he's still with her and that she'll always stand by his side. Yuki admits that she was so desperate to keep him alive and felt so helpless that she would have forced him, against his will, to drink Shizuka's blood if it meant saving him.

It is this deep care and desperation to keep him alive that leads Zero to ask her:

"What am I... to you?"

This is the first time Yuki has considered what her feelings for Zero are or what they mean. Until now, she never gave it much thought, leaving her confused and unsure of how to respond.

She begins to sort through her emotions. She is scared of what could happen to Zero (becoming a Level E vampire or dying). She wants to see him happy and at peace. And now, she also begins to wonder...

"What am I... to Zero?"

Their relationship grows deeper. In a vulnerable moment, after dreaming about Yuki's death, Zero nearly kisses her, driven by his longing for her. Yuki becomes fully aware that he was just about to kiss her.

"I wonder how he felt... about my reaction."

Yuki becomes embarrassed and fixated on the kiss, constantly thinking about it whenever she sees Zero. Clearly flustered, she wonders how Zero felt about her reaction to the almost-kiss, but she’s confused. They’ve always been like siblings—friends, even best friends…

Yuki keeps replaying Zero’s words in her mind, telling herself the almost-kiss meant nothing and that he wasn’t in his right mind. She watches him closely, comparing his calm demeanor to her own flustered state, and uses his composure to reassure herself that it really didn’t mean anything.

In the end, Yuki realizes that Zero is precious to her. That’s who he is to her.

"I don't want my problems to get in the way."

After Yuki agrees to Kaname's request to turn her into a vampire, she shares her thoughts with Zero, wondering if she should go through with it and what good might come of it.

Upon Zero's angered response, she soon realizes her mistake and feels upset for bringing up something so sensitive, especially knowing how much Zero has suffered. Feeling desperate and guilty for not being more focused on him, Yuki decides to remember her past to try to be more helpful to Zero.

"...Zero, I'm so scared."

The dynamics of their relationship begin to shift once more, now with Zero coming in to put more of a focus on Yuki's well being and emotional state. He suggests and supports her in discovering her past.

When Yuki continues to keep her feelings locked away tightly, afraid of being a burden, Zero insists on the fact that she is his victim in all of this and that she has every right to burden him. Yuki breaks down and, for the first time, finally opens up about her own dilemmas. She becomes vulnerable and admits to him how scared she is about her past.