✿H I A T U S✿

“it’s just a movie,” we were assured, “and what’s wrong with being the girl next door?”

we were angry adolescents with no safe direction to lash out in. we were not allowed to be violent. those of us who turned to our playstation were embarrassed for it. many of us were bullied. many of us turned to fantasy. when we were older, we would ask, “why is there only one playable girl character in this whole game?”

“video games are art,” we were sneered at, “i’m sick of these fake gamer girls ruining our media.”

we were high school girls who were worried we weren’t being kissed fast enough, even at 15. we felt shame boil up around our ears when men leaned out of cars to sling slurs at us. we wanted to feel good about ourselves but were sent home for showing our shoulders. what were we telling people by being so in love with our bodies that we showed them off in any small way. when we were older, we would ask, “why does this advertisement for socks have a barely-18-year-old girl lying mostly-naked on a bed?” we saw our own 18-year-old self, who could barely kiss right and still trembled about sex.

“relax,” we were told, “if you don’t like it, don’t look. if you’re mad they’re selling you your clothes like this, just don’t buy from them.”

we turned into tired adults. we have our fires burnt out. we have explained and explained until our tongues turned numb why we deserve to be able to live without fear. we got sick of being teachers. any dent we made was quickly refilled. we were sick of trying to talk to people who would never change their minds about us. we were sick of it. and we still asked: “where am i? where are the people who look like me?”

i once was in a coffee shop sighing to a friend, “why don’t people get that not every girl has the same body or same metabolic system” and i was interrupted by a large man who has no idea how i eat or how much i weigh or how healthy i might be, and he loudly and briskly informed me, “Victoria’s Secret models have a more common body type than you think. If you’re so pissed about not being like the girls on tv, how about you change what you look like?” i had gone 6 days without eating. 

so we made it up. we gave barbie a cape and our spotted dog the ability to control the weather. we wrote barely-legible fanfiction about vampires who were also terribly in love with us - because we were perfect in this world, unlike the mess of what really was - we crafted entire sub-stories about how the main characters in our favorite universes were secretly girls in disguise. we made 17-year-old characters who would cut the throats of anyone who hurt them. we drew pictures of women in full, angry armor. we wrote bad poems about the girls we loved and the ones we were jealous of. we hurt ourselves often, were excellent at denying ourselves in the name of something. we only ate salad, we wouldn’t touch grease, we didn’t buy certain things, didn’t get dirty. we used things to fill the gaps. bath bombs. fussy boots. venti iced mocha half-caf.

we made it up. we flooded the market. we put up pictures of ourselves smiling, with messy hair and silly faces, with back fat, with smudged makeup. we made videos perfecting our lips. we made art of possible fashion - all with pockets. 

a few girls take selfies at a sports event. they are slandered across the news for it. 

can you imagine? can you imagine the selfishness? the audacity? the self-possession one must feel to take a picture of themselves where they control everything? 

My blog is _______

Open to all

Semi-selective (* mood dependant)

Selective

Moderately Selective

Highly selective

Exclusive

Semi-Exclusive

Only going to RP with mutuals

Mostly going to RP with mutuals

Indie

Affiliated with a group

Spoiler free

Spoilers tagged

Spoilers mostly tagged

I will RP with ______

Any fandom

Most fandoms

Only fandoms I know

Only people in my fandom 

OCS

OCS with no fandom ties

Only one version of any particular character

People who have the same muse as me

People who do not have a rules page

Multimuse blogs

People in RP groups 

Indie RPers

When RPing, I like to use _______

Paragraphs

Shorter forms of text

*Action* 

Icons

Gifs

Gif icons

Formatted text

Whatever my partner is using

My own style regardless of my partner’s reply

I will ship with _______

No one

Anyone

Chemistry

Mutuals

Select ships 

OCS

Others of my own muse

Crossovers with characters from different fandoms

Only one version of a particular character

One person in my main verse

Multiship, all ships independent of each other & main ship 

One main/canon ship within my main verse

My blog WILL contain ______ in it’s content.

Fluff

Angst

Gore 

Violence

Smut

Blood 

Torture

Shipping

Death

Dark humor

Cheating 

Assault

Triggers (i’ll tag ‘em)

I will follow ______ back

Everyone

Only some people

Most people

Only people in my fandom

Every RP blog

Only people I actively wish to RP with

People who do not post a lot of OOC

People whose posts I am comfortable with on my dashboard

To RP with me, you should _______

Follow back

Answer an open

Message me OOC

Message me IC 

Make a starter

Answer my starter

Send in a meme

Like a starter call

Other:

I practice reblog karma with memes (* TRYING)

I expect reblog karma with memes  

I expect my rules/about to be read 

I always read the rules/about before following/interacting 

If you follow me, I would like suicide and assault tagged

I expect all smut to be beneath a read-more

I expect smut to be tagged 

I am a multiverse blog

I am multi-muse

I do not wish for my OOC posts to be reblogged 

I do not wish for my threads to be reblogged by those not involved

I expect post length to be matched

I expect icons/gifs to be used in a reply if I have used them

I expect icons/gifs to be used in a reply regardless 

I don’t expect post length to be matched, but I will try to match your own.