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Mike Driver
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@vala-tori

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āeveryone is mad at me and they just wonāt tell meā ā> āno one has said anything about being mad at me and i havenāt done anything to warrant being mad at so if someone is silently fuming about me and not saying anything thatās their problem and actually quite weird of them and i can effortlessly move on with my lifeā
this took SUCH a huge deal of unlearning because, like so many of you, i came out of a home where being quietly in trouble WAS the default state, and i DID grow up not just with the assumption but borderline religious conviction that Everyone Is Mad At Me, I Am Bad, I Must Exist In A Constant State of Attempting to Pacify The Natural Rage I Inspire In Everyone. and no it actually turns out that my family are the freaks . and yours are too
āthis isnāt true because i DEFINITELY silently fume at people in the hopes theyāll figure out what they did and apologizeā thatās not good. you shouldnāt do that
āthis isnāt true because the ex-friendship that traumatized me ended explosively after they were mad at me and never told me whyā thatās not good. they shouldnāt be doing that
āi donāt think this is true because my current friend group is constantly icing me out until i figure out what ive done to upset them and properly apologized without being toldā hey thats not good. they should not be doing that
if the peacefulness of your relationship with someone (familial, romantic, friendly, anything) can be destroyed by effective communication/asking them for effective communication, you have got to get out of there. if you canāt get out of there, youāve got to throw away any ideas about what that person thinks of you because they have their own shit to figure out before they can accurately read anyone else
tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse
imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer
horse that reads Marcus Aurelius
I was wrong. they didnt rock lee him. this horse is literally Gai. and i wish he was my dad
Much as I adore hippos, this is undeniably just. (via @persian-slipper)
Relatable
Consider the following
What doesnāt kill you makes you passively suicidal 24/7

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In the extreme heat, I have found washing my face and putting on a sheet face mask helps alot. The mask has the moisture thats good for you on your skin and it cools your face and head off. Plop infront of a fan with one on and leave it until it dries out.
Especially if you got a bit of sun on your face. Forces the moisture back into the skin and doesn't sting.
I told my mom in the middle of an argument she was the only reason I even try to stay alive today...
She came back with "then just do. Get it over with and we'll all just go,"
I can't... my mom actually told me to go kill myself. She can't mean it, but she meant it enough to say it
capybara
Guinea big.
to a customer who is yelling at you about how he has to see a product that is only sold online, because how else will he know what he is buying, Apparently saying "faith, trust, and pixie dust," is not the right answer...

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Kilroy Was Here!
Heās engraved in stone in the National World War II Memorial in Washington, DC ā back in a small alcove where very few people have seen it. For the WWII generation, this will bring back memories. For younger folks, itās a bit of trivia that is an intrinsic part of American history and legend.
Anyone born between 1913 to about 1950, is very familiar with Kilroy. No one knew why he was so well knownā¦.but everybody seemed to get into it. It was the fad of its time!
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā At theĀ National World War II Memorial in Washington, DC
So who was Kilroy?
In 1946 the American Transit Association, through its radio program, āSpeak to America,ā sponsored a nationwide contest to find the real Kilroyā¦.now a larger-than-life legend of just-ended World War IIā¦.offering a prize of a real trolley car to the person who could prove himself to be the genuine article.
Almost 40 men stepped forward to make that claim, but only James Kilroy from Halifax, Massachusetts, had credible and verifiable evidence of his identity.
āKilroyā was a 46-year old shipyard worker during World War II (1941-1945) who worked as a quality assurance checker at the Fore River Shipyard in Quincy, MassachusettsĀ (a major shipbuilder for the United States Navy for a century until the 1980s). Ā
His job was to go around and check on the number of rivets completed. (Rivets held ships together before the advent of modern welding techniques.) Riveters were on piece work wagesā¦.so they got paid by the rivet. He would count a block of rivets and put a check mark in semi-waxed lumber chalk (similar to crayon), so the rivets wouldnāt be counted more than once.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā A warship hull with rivets
When Kilroy went off duty, the riveters would surreptitiously erase the mark. Later, an off-shift inspector would come through and count the rivets a second time, resulting in double pay for the riveters!
One day Kilroyās boss called him into his office. The foreman was upset about unusually high wages being āearnedā by riveters, and asked him to investigate. It was then he realized what had been going on.Ā
The tight spaces he had to crawl in to check the rivets didnāt lend themselves to lugging around a paint can and brush, so Kilroy decided to stick with the waxy chalk. He continued to put his check mark on each job he inspected, but added āKILROY WAS HERE!ā in king-sized letters next to the checkā¦.and eventually added the sketch of the guy with the long nose peering over the fenceā¦.and that became part of the Kilroy message.
Ā Ā Kilroyās original shipyard inspectionĀ ātrademarkā during World War II
Once he did that, the riveters stopped trying to wipe away his marks.
Ordinarily the rivets and chalk marks would have been covered up with paint. With World War II on in full swing, however, ships were leaving the Quincy Yard so fast that there wasnāt time to paint them. As a result, Kilroyās inspection "trademarkā was seen by thousands of servicemen who boarded the troopships the yard produced.
His message apparently rang a bell with the servicemen, because they picked it up and spread it all over the European and the Pacific war zones.
Before warās end, āKilroyā had been here, there, and everywhere on the long hauls to Berlin and Tokyo.Ā
To the troops outbound in those ships, however, he was a complete mystery; all they knew for sure was that someone named Kilroy had ābeen there first.ā As a joke, U.S. servicemen began placing the graffiti wherever they landed, claiming it was already there when they arrived.
As World War II wore on, the legend grew. Underwater demolition teams routinely sneaked ashore on Japanese-held islands in the Pacific to map the terrain for coming invasions by U.S. troops (and thus, presumably, were the first GIās there). On one occasion, however, they reported seeing enemy troops painting over the Kilroy logo!
Kilroy became the U.S. super-GI who had always āalready beenā wherever GIs went. It became a challenge to place the logo in the most unlikely places imaginable. (It is said to now be atop Mt. Everest, the Statue of Liberty, the underside of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, and even scrawled in the dust on the moon by the American astronauts who walked there between 1969 and 1972.
In 1945, as World War II was ending, an outhouse was built for the exclusive use of Allied leadersĀ Harry Truman, Joseph Stalin, and Winston Churchill at the Potsdam Conference. Itās first occupant was Stalin, who emerged and asked his aide (in Russian), āWho is Kilroy?ā
To help prove his authenticity in 1946, James Kilroy brought along officials from the shipyard and some of the riveters. He won the trolley carā¦.which he attached to the Kilroy home and used to provide living quarters for six of the familyās nine childrenā¦.thereby solving what had become an acute housing crisis for the Kilroys.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā The new addition to the Kilroy family home.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā * Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā * Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā * Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā *
And the tradition continues into the 21st centuryā¦
In 2011 outside the now-late-Osama Bin Ladenās hideaway house in Abbottabad, Pakistanā¦.shortly after theĀ al-Qaida-terrorist was killed by U.S. Navy SEALs.Ā
>>Note: TheĀ Kilroy graffiti on the southwest wall of the Bin Laden compound pictured above was real (not digitally altered with Microsoft Paint, as postulated by some). The entire compound was leveled in 2012 for redevelopment by a Pakistani company as an amusement parkā¦.and to avoid it becoming a shrine to Bin Ladenās nefarious memory.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā * Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā * Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā * Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā *
A personal noteā¦.
My Dadās trademark signature on cards, letters and notes to my sisters and I for the first 50 or so years of our lives (until we lost him to cancer) was to add the image ofĀ āKilroy" at the end. We kids never ceased to get a thrill out of thisā¦.even as we evolved into adulthood.Ā
To this day, theĀ āKilroyā image brings back a vivid image of my awesome Dad into my headā¦.and my heart!
Dad: This oneās for you!
the human body when you use it and exist in it
(via File Photo)
WTF are those obelisks on the right?ā¦
Tasty obelisk fries..
āItās digestibleā has got to be the laziest goal Iāve ever seen achieved by a food product.
āItās digestibleā
āItās digestibleā is pertinent!! Okay, for those of you who havenāt researched Crisco for writing fic about gay sex in the mid-late 60s:
The first-edition ofĀ The Joy of Gay Sex, published in 1977, declared, āVegetable shortening may be the best lubricant, since it is not only greasy but also digestibleā[4]Ā Such a statement perhaps gives new meaning to the companies boastful declarations that āIts digestibleā and āCrisco has been making life in the kitchen more delicious for years.āĀ Similarly, in the 1978 sex manualĀ The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, Crisco even earned an entry in the bookās index.Ā Discussions of the shorteningās use as an anal lubricant indicate its popularity, with statements such as: āThe lubricant, typically the cultic Crisco, must be copious.ā[5]Ā In fact, Crisco was so synonomus with gay sex that discos and bars around the world took on the name, such as Crisco Disco in New York City, which was one of the premiere clubs during the 1970s and early 1980s.Ā Other clubs or bathhouses, such as Club Z in Seattle, even featured murals with Crisco.Ā Thus, Crisco was conversely also one of many things that led to the formation of gay identities during the 20thĀ century.
from this essay: http://www.columbia.edu/~sf2220/TT2007/web-content/Pages/drew2.html
The more you know! :D
I have learned a new thing today.
Love this post for so many reasons but most especially because this is from all the way back in 2012 and and yet not a single blog in this thread is deactivated
I enjoy that not only does this have a link to an actual source, but the link still fucking works.
but @rhea314 you didnt include a picture of the crisco disco! AND MY GOD THE DJ BOOTH WAS A GIANT CRISCO CAN!
Go dance and get fisted. Fucking iconic.
Love the gay history, but i just wanna correct that the āitās digestibleā in the gay stuff was a reference to criscoās tagline it had been using since 1911, the actual meaning of its digestible is because itās main competition came from āenhancedā lards which were rendered pig fat mixed with non food thickeners that literally did not digest and caused people to basically just shit out pig cream, since crisco was veggie based the body digested it along with the food
And in case you were still wondering, @mudwerks.. Tuna Croquettes
This post is the opposite of net zero information. Not only did I learn several new facts about gay history but also we rounded our way back to the original question of the tag line and the mini obelisks.
Itās a net profit of information. 12/10 post
got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?
The recent hot VS cold polls have made me realise that a lot of people have no idea how to cool down.
As someone from a hot country that's regularly on fire, here's some tips:
WATER IS YOUR FRIEND! WATER! IS! YOUR! FRIEND! You can transfer SO much heat into this bad boy! You cannot cool down without water!
Wrists under the cold tap. Splash your face and the back of your neck. Fan yourself.
In some countries you can buy a little handeld fan with a water sprayer.
Damp tea towel around the neck. Stick an ice pack in there on hotter days.
Half fill a water bottle with water, stick in freezer. If you use a bottle with a straw, make sure it's lying on its side with the straw side up and out of the water. When frozen top up the rest of the way with tap water and off you go.
Desperate to cool off? Wet T-shirt. Sit in front of a fan. This will nuke it, just don't get hypothermia and don't fall asleep like this.
Cold showers are also your friend in summer. Some people get psyched up by these. Personally, I sleep like a baby, so I'm good to have them before bed. Just keep in mind that it takes a bit of time for the cool to circulate, so your body will tell you that you're colder than you actually are. I find that when I have cold showers I need to step out of the spray when I think I'm cold... I'll just wait, and thirty seconds later the temperature has evened out and I actually need to step under again. Rinse and repeat until you maintain coolness even after stepping out for a bit.
If you can't do cold showers, turn the cold shower on anyway and just stick your arms under. When they're cold, lift your arms up above your head. The sensation of cool blood draining into your body is fucking weird and kinda unpleasant but less unpleasant than being hot.
Feet in a tub of water with ice. Blood naturally flows to your extremities when hot, so take advantage of this. If you don't have a tub of ice water, sticking a wet rag on your feet in front of the fan works too, it's the less powerful version of the wet T-shirt.
Drinks lots of water but make sure that water has electrolytes as well. Stay in the shade.
Keep air circulating. Fans don't actually cool rooms down, they just help transfer heat from your body to the moisture on your skin or the air via evaporative cooling.
Block north facing windows early in the morning so the sun doesn't get in. If you're in the northern hemisphere, this is opposite for you. Keep in mind that if your home is brick, the bricks will still heat up and slowly release heat into your home even after the sun goes down so this will only do so much.
If it's hotter inside than outside, close all your windows but two, making sure they're on opposite sides of the house/unit you're in. Point a fan out of one window, making sure that the doors between the rooms with the open windows are all open. This will help create a mini pressure system in your home, pulling cooler air in and pushing the hotter air out via the fan. Bonus points if you can get that fan high up where the hot air rises; even within a single room the top is much hotter than the air by the floor. Adjust the amount of open windows based on how many fans you have, but generally you want more windows with fans open than windows without fans to keep the pressure correct.
Obviously, use your common sense for these. Not everything WILL work for you, just use the stuff that does and adjust what needs to be adjusted. Some of these will be impossible to use in the workplace but others you can still use. Others are best used at home. If humidity impacts your ability to use any of these, get a dehumidifier if that's an option, or use more ice instead of evaporation.
Also keep in mind that the skinnier you are, the faster these will work. More fat means more insulation, means more heat, so you may need to be more patient with some of these or use them in combination.
Bringing this back for my dying mutuals

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itās never a normal temperature anymore itās always some fucking bullshit
These two giant turtles have been fighting each other for more than 120 years.
According to the zoo, one turtle stole the otherās food 120 years ago, and since that day they became enemies.
There hasnāt been a single day where they donāt fight for 2ā3 minutesš
reblogging again to correct misinformation!
these are african spurred tortoises (aka sulcata tortoises.) they only live to ~54-75 years in captivity, making a 120 year old feud scientifically impossible!
this species is known to have territorial disputes during the warm season. these tortoises in particular have had a recorded history of fighting; the zookeepers at the taipei zoo have taken measures to provide enrichment/distractions to avoid fighting like what's seen in the video above
Bringing Taiwan to the World and the World to Taiwan
notice how op didn't link to the twitter post that community noted to correct the misinfo