Choke Me Darth Daddy

If Darth Sidious Attempts To Interfere With My Family Once More After Having Brought My Love My Life My Children to Ruin Unending I Shall Rise His Wrinkly Grey Ass Right Into My Lava Front Lawn.

Suggestion: When In Doubt, Slice It In Half.

My Sight And Heart Were Broken By Decimated Dreams. I Sent The Whole World Reeling As They With Terror Screamed - Your Misery And Hate Will Kill Us All.

I Was Prophesied A Savior. Thought To Bring Light To The Broken And The Beaten And The Damned. The Prophecy Was Misread. I Have Been Eaten By My Demons. I Bring Only Darkness To The Non-Believer.

You Know My Name Not My Story.

I Can No Longer Taste. I Can Remember The Taste Of Chocolate. The Darkest Of Chocolate Darker Than My Heart. Bittersweet. Melting To My Mouth Like My Lost Beloved. Chocolate In A Fresh Baked Dessert So Hot It Burns. A Pain Like And Yet So Unlike The Sear Of Molten Rock That Stole From Me Taste Both Sweet And Bitter Forever.

@ My Daughter. Life Is Pain Princess. Anyone Who Tells You Differently Is A Jedi Sympathizer And Will Be Crushed Beneath My Metal Heel. That Said Would You Like Some Ice Cream I Got Your Favourite.

Dear Diary. Today I Stopped Rebel Espionage. A Rebel Was Attempting To Steal Classified Tea Bags From The Star Destroyer’s Break Room. He Was Disguised As An Imperial. Let Us Just Say That He Will Never Be A Threat To The Glory Of The Empire Again.

Suggestion: Point To Emphasize Your Authority.

Jedi Youth Pastor Voice: Just “Yeet” Your Problems Into The Force.

I No Longer Have The Capacity To Experience Humor As It Along With All Other Positive Emotion Has Been Seared From My Synapses By The Frozen Flames Of The Dark Side. However If I Still Had It I Would Think The Faces On Rebels When I Turn On My Lightsaber In A Dark Hallway Are Hilarious.