23

lately I can’t talk without it catching in my throat

I have lost all my childhood wonder and I don’t want to stay here,

I don’t want to be like this but I just don’t know to change it

Why do you just fucking ignore it, make one comment during a big ass conversation and you say YOU UNDERSTAND, FUCKING DO SOMETHINF BITCH

I have no idea how I feel about this morning, I cried so much

I need to learn to form long term plans, and fucking stick to them!

I want so badly not to just write about sad mistakes, i want to imagine a future. But it’s hard when I’m so tired, and I can’t write like it used to, I’m too worried about hating what it says

I want to invest in nice photos, they helped romanticise life even if I never used to notice it

Mm morning disassociation

It is time to start reaching out again, we need more than just us it is going to start suffocating us soon. I miss speaking to my friends, most of them tried, but I was never one to reach out, the ones that have survived are because they didn’t let it.

I wish I was braver, less insecure

I need to keep writing the thoughts down wether I’ll read them back or not, but I keep forgetting every thought I have

I could stay here waving forever, staring at your smile, waving for one minute longer. I don’t want to stop looking at you, the dark brown hair, the crooked teeth, the love in your eyes. They are all you and I want to stare at you forever.