usually generous hottub

Well shit.

it’s been so long since I used this website properly. but it’s nice to see you guys. even if I did only have two followers.

so much has happened since i started this blog, apparently i deleted all previous entries. but now i want to use this properly again and actually use it as my diary. it’s not that interesting but we can try, i guess.

so maybe i should use this as a starting point, or i could just let you try to learn about me as i write more. yeah, ill go with that, it makes it more of a game, more of something that seems like a character instead of a real person.

maybe i am just a character, maybe this is just a story which someone is writing from the darkness of their room, trying to trick people into thinking that they’re actually a sixteen year old enby. 

well actually, that’s why im here. i don’t know if im actually enby. i haven’t been sure about fully being cis for years, but i always just assumed it was something that i was using to try to be special, whilst just disliking basic gender roles, but then i really started to think about it, due to the help of my boyfriend,,, hmm what do i call him ? can i just call him by the first letter of his name ? wait, i have an idea. im going to call him mark due to a little joke that i was making last night. no that sucks. ah i know. ill call him noir, for reasons. oh my god, if any of my friends find this, they’re instantly going to know who i am. 

well its not like im going to be writing much here that they wouldn’t know about anyway.

ahh, as i was saying, noir really helped me start outwardly talking about this crisis and now my friends all use they/them pronouns on me. :)) 

anyway. 

its nice to be back. see you guys soon.