Ru

Their usually stone cold, tense face was now squished against the pillow, their ever pristine hair messy across their skin. For once, they looked so… relaxed, so peaceful.

Zaros carefully stood from his desk and walked over, being as quiet as he possibly could to not wake them, and carefully pulled the blankets up over their shoulder, tucking them in.

The Earis always looked older than they actually were, despite often acting like a petulant child while at Astron, their eyes and shoulders always held the weight of Serulla upon them, no matter how hard the Earis tried to pretend they didn’t,

but now, looking at them in sleep? they looked like a kid again, they looked weightless.

Zaros felt something in his chest soften as he gazed upon them. Time felt almost frozen around him. That softness bloomed into something, something warm filling his entire chest before permeating outward.

He tucked a stray strand of hair behind their ear before retreating back to his desk. He had never seen them look like this, but to him, it was an honor that they felt safe enough to sleep around him, and he wouldn’t take that lightly.

Flash forward to Iva’s day, they once again fell asleep in his bed, but this time, he got the privilege of holding them as they slept.

That same warmth spread through his chest as he looked at the sleeping noble that was squished against his shirt, their grip on him tightening even subconsciously every time he even dared move in a way that might take him away from them.

They’d grown up, yes, their face matured, a few more scars adorning their skin, and their features more pronounced, but looking at them now, they still looked like the kid he’d fallen in love with all those years ago at Astron.

they still got that same peaceful look in their sleep as they did back then. Their hair still went all messy. Zaros carefully shifted a hand through their hair, and he couldn’t fight the smile pulling at his lips.

He pulled them impossibly closer, tucking them into his chest. He wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted to hold them and shield the both of them from whatever was to come after the trials.

He wouldn’t let himself think of that right now, how could he think of anything other than the fact he had his favorite person in his arms.

that he had the person he loved sleeping against his chest.

pulling the blankets over the two of them, Zaros finally allowed himself to drift off with the Earis, falling asleep alongside them.

their entire life, they’d been small, weak, sickly; they had always been a target. even the country they went to fight for used and betrayed them, just to throw them away after, just like every other god forsaken person they’d ever trusted.

in that moment, they vowed that never again would that happen. They’d get big and scary, they’d use this new strength to make sure nothing ever got close enough to hurt them again.

they’d be safe, even if they were a monster.

“my earis, can you please-

back

“come sit down, you’re-“

and forth

“going to pace a hole into-,”

and back

“your floor at this point.”

and forth

okay.

that’s it

Zaros stood, grabbing their hands before pulling them over to the bed, sitting them down. He kept their hands in his as both a soothing gesture, but also to make sure they didn’t stand and start their pacing again.

“Zaros, i’m fine. Just thinking through things.”

“you’ve been pacing all morning, i hardly think that’s fine. you’re going to think yourself into the ground if you keep going,” he deadpanned. “you need to relax,” he squeezed their hand reassuringly. he hated seeing them so anxious, and anxious they were.

they felt like their stomach was in knots, a restless energy coursed through their legs, hence the pacing, and their mind was moving faster than a racing stallion.

it had been weeks since the last trial, two weeks since Iva’s Day, and the not knowing had been taking its toll on them both. the earis pulled their hands free, running one through their hair.

they weren’t used to letting people see them like this.

“i just hate sitting here,” they buried their face into their hands, the weight of their thoughts finally becoming too much. “i hate the unknowns, i hate all of it,”

Zaros frowned worriedly as they finally lamented. they always acted to unbothered, though he’d know it was usually a lie, so it was hard to see them like this, hard to see them so visibly worried. their body looked rigid with tension, and be could see their breathing starting to speed up slightly.

shifting closer, he hesitated.

“can i… touch?”

they looked up for a moment before nodding, and Zaros didn’t need to be told twice. he pulled them into a hug, squeezing to apply pressure so that hopefully, their body would see that it’s safe, despite all the unknowns.

“follow my breathing, my earis.. you’re doing good,” he took slow breaths in, holding them, before exhaling slowly.

“everything is going to be okay.. no matter what happens, we’ll figure it out,”

deep breath in.

“and no matter what happens, you have me.”

deep breath out

their grip on him tightened, but slowly, slowly, he felt them begin to relax, he felt their breathing slow to match his,

“that’s it… keep breathing with me,” He moved a hand to trail through their hair, he’d done their hair enough times to know they secretly enjoyed the feeling.

***

after a while of sitting there in his arms, they calmed down. Zaros was about to pull back when their grip on him tightened.

“wait- can we… stay like this a little longer?” they looked up at him, and how could he say no to those eyes he loved so much.

pulling them back against his chest, he adjusted so they both would be comfortable. leaning down, he pressed a kiss to their head.

the world was too much this morning, the weight of their responsibilities, the weight of masking, all of it, it was just too much for them.

so, they felt paralyzed, unwilling to leave the one safe place they had in their palace: their bed.. well, more aptly, his arms.

Zaros gathered them in his arms carefully, slowly sitting up, soothing them softly as they protested.

“we don’t have to get up completely yet, but let’s go half way, alright, my earis?” small steps, if everything was too much, he’d make the transition easier, break it down so it didn’t overwhelm them.

they didn’t give a verbal reply, instead opting to bury this head against his shoulder, seemingly hiding their face.

“we can stay here as long as you need,” he pressed a kiss to the top of their head, he knew they loved when he did that. shifting his hands from around them, he ran them over their back and shoulders, finding where they were most tense before carefully massaging them.

A small smile pulled at his lips as he felt them finally begin to loosen up, and after a while longer of massaging, with some encouraging words and kisses, they peeked out from against his shoulder, it took everything in him not to giggle at how messy their hair was.

“there you are,” he pressed a kiss to their forehead, “are you ready now?”

they nodded, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. to which he happily reciprocated, bringing a hand to cup their cheek.

they eventually pulled back, though it was clearly reluctant.

“i love you…” the words were almost shy still, as if they still weren’t used to saying them aloud, it made Zaros’s heart almost burst.