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I think that you need to have a certain amount of rule breaking attitude to be the first to do something.
I think that my grandmother didn’t become the first woman race car driver because she’s the sort of person who thinks that every time you eat at a dining table you need a full table placement. You can’t just bring a plate and fork to the table you’ve gotta have like tablecloth, placemats, two kinds of knives, the works. Her mind cannot comprehend a universe where you could just eat a sandwich off of a napkin at the table.
So in the same vein she couldn’t conceive of a woman race car driver because there weren’t women race car drivers when she was a kid. She was like “oh it just wasn’t done back then” so she didn’t even try even though that was her dream job.
Anyways I do often wonder how much talent and passion has been lost over the years because there’s a lot of people out there like my grandmother who can’t conceive of things outside of the established norms. If there had been even one person who pushed her to follow her dreams, she probably would’ve been a damn good race car driver but nobody did and she wasn’t.
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attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.
There is a certain kind of guilt you feel when you struggle with a mental illness like depression, anxiety, panic disorders, PTSD, OCD that happens to be treatment resistant.
I went through a terrible flareup with my ulcerative colitis where I had to try numerous types of treatments to get it under control and every time one did not work, I would feel disappointed and sad but I would think “It just didn’t work for my body, it just wasn’t what was right for me. Maybe the next one will work.”
I have tried everything from talk therapy to neurofeedback to ketamine to treat my mental health and every time a new treatment fails I think “Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Maybe I secretly don’t want to get better. Maybe I’m meant to feel like this forever.” and there is this profound sense of disappointment and hopelessness and guilt and it is enough to make me stop trying for a while and focus on just surviving instead of healing and living. But I always get back in the saddle and try again eventually. It’s been 12 years. In the words of the Log Lady from Twin Peaks, the sadness cannot last forever.
Imagine your F/O cleaning up your bedroom for you while you're out of the house. Like, you left in such a hurry so your clothes were scattered all over the place, and you were dreading returning home to a bed you wouldn't even be able to lay on. But now you get home to find everything perfectly tidy and your F/O is waiting for you in your bed. Maybe they even bought you a new set of pajamas to get changed into. Just being taken care of like that and not having to worry about menial tasks is so yummy.
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Imagine you're having a bad depression day and F/O just sits with you. They don't try to fix it. They don't try to tell you that you have too much good in your life to be happy about. No.
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Black ppl deserve to feel safe and welcomed on the internet, on fandoms on whatever community or hobbies they want without having to deal with antiblack racist attacks, microaggressions or enablers of antiblackness . And if u genuinely consider urself to be left leaning or an ally or woke you should do and try to unlearn the colorism, texturism , eurocentrism and antiblackness
