unlikeable-me

It's clearer to me now that we were living in different chapters of life. I guess that makes it easier to accept our ending, because even if we had made it through, we still weren't meant to end up together.

I looked for you everywhere, but I couldn't find you. Now, I settle for every trace left of you.

I still get turned on, thinking about the times we made love.

There are no seconds you left my mind.

I still love you so much. I still wanted us so much. But I was so physically and mentally drained from everything life demanded of me that I didn’t have the strength left to fight for us. I never stopped loving you. I was just too exhausted from life that I couldn’t fight for us the way you deserved.

I’m letting you go now, but that doesn’t erase how deeply I loved you, more than I ever thought I was capable of. I just hope you know I’ll never forget the love and the memories we shared.

You know what hits me hard, that I won't be able to see you anymore.

I don't want to give myself easily. I don't want to accommodate anyone or adjust myself for them. I should think for myself first. I've lost all of my confidence

No matter how much I try, my eyes feels so heavy.

I feel so disgusting like a creepy stalker fighting to keep our relationship going. I'm so stupid not to realize until now that you don't want me anymore and that I wished I shouldn't have done these things to reach you. I'm so pathetic, and yes, I asked for this break up.

We're supposed to be happy with each other's arms right now but I said what I shouldn't have said and now we're broken.

I've tried multiple times, I have tried so hard but I realize now it didn't happen because it's not for me. No matter how much effort I do if it wasn't for me it would never happen. I've seen it in my own eyes, how destiny works. If things are for you everything will fall in the right place for you. And now I think I'm not in the right direction in my life or I guess my destiny and choices in life doesn't align.

I have so many priorities and i couldn't focus to one. Because of that I felt like I haven't finished anything.

I'm so burnout. I'm so pressured with everyone, I always have tasks that I have to follow instructions from everyone. Whether it's work or personal, the list never ends. I feel exhausted and in debt. 😖