my city now @unintentionaloracle - Tumblr Blog

guerrillatech

heartseeker

i do im celebrating my dogs birthday

shes turning 2

heartseeker

eda is 5 this year :)

heartseeker

eda is 6!!!!

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pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated

Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event

bpdcassidy-archived-deactivated

Come on, now, op. We all know squidward doesn’t go to the club.

He’s one of those “I’m not like other gays” gays who goes home to a bottle of wine and his obscure 50s vaudeville records, and then mopes because he can never find a boyfriend.

calamaricarlo

I love this website so much

cinnamonghost

cozy2000

time to post my favorite far side comic of all time

thomrainierskies

i am still in absolute disbelief that i managed to capture this moment

whats-a-bear

thememedaddy

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biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

cultures that do an afternoon nap are OBJECTIVELY CORRECT and the world should be learning from them

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

you've heard of the spanish siesta now get ready for places like Vietnam where it's commonplace to see workers pull out a mattress & take an afternoon nap on the office/store floor. very powerful way to roll. give kindergarten-style naptime BACK to the people ✊

normal-horoscopes

When I was in middle school we would do these weekly things called "Flag Salutes" where the entire school came out to the quad to stand in big ranks and sing patriotic songs. I lived in one of the most conservative counties in America and the teachers took the Flag Salutes very seriously.

We hated them. We didn't really clock the nationalist nature of the thing but we we hated being asked to stand in a big group and sing songs for nobody. It was boring and goofy. Thinking about it now, it really was just our teachers using us as fodder for a Mass Ritual to Prevent 9/11 from Happening Again.

Eventually, some kids developed a sort of game. The ceremony had all these little dramatic pauses between sections of a speech or in-between songs. Kids would wait for those little pauses and, right before the song started, just shout "NINE ELEVEN!" There was a voice for it to. You had to sound kinda like a Patrick Star or a similar exaggerated dunderhead type character.

It made the teachers incredibly mad but nobody ever got in trouble. The trick was to drop the Nine Eleven the moment before the song started so they couldn't stop to focus on who was yelling. Once they start the ritual they couldn't stop it or the spell would backfire and the Taliban Would Get You or whatever.

contaiinedarmageddon2

tarantula-bones-deactivated2026

captain-price-returns

Oh wow the 250th Fourth of July parade has been cancelled lol

captain-price-returns

Fun fact: the DC area will be hotter than 99% of the earth tomorrow!

captain-price-returns

Also I get the sense that very few people in DC are aware that federal officials wrote detailed analyses warning of the air quality health risks of the enormous 850K fireworks set to go off — and that the admin did not release those findings to the public

captain-price-returns

Fox News has done irreversible damage to some people.

flootzavut

It's not global climate change, it's someone who just really hates Trump so much they changed the earth's entire climate. Christ.

amrv-5

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

nightonblogmountain

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sceptixfakemon

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

sceptixfakemon

im never leaving this hellsite

sceptixfakemon

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

sceptixfakemon

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

seraphrain

googledocsdyke

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

mostlybats-partiallyrats

How fucking old are you people?

googledocsdyke

normal amount

bakwaaas

love is stored in the cow

amygdalae

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

amygdalae

your average cat hater: I don't like how they r bitchy and ignore me/ won't let me manhandle them

your average dog hater: I have been mortally endangered by an ill-trained dog

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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honeybeeofficial

wishing all outdoor workers, delivery drivers, people who have to walk to work, bus riders, etc a very Don't die in this heat

vivid-sector

doomscrolling thru the weather app

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