27/02/2022
So...
It's been a while.
I feel sad looking back on some of those posts but also good as sometimes I wonder if I made it up but I guess I didn't.
I don't think I've made much progress really. I still have the same thought patterns and beliefs.
I'm not sure if I need to change therapist.
I think the blame is with me really, she has given me lots of things to work on but I have just not done it.
I don't know where to go from here.
Until Megan is in a better situation financially I can't leave. Or unless I somehow magically started earning double what I'm earning now...
How can I make this work? Who can help me?
Silia has chronic pain so she isn't able to exercise.
Jessie is, but she hasn't reached out in a while, so maybe the time frames won't work.
Lauren is in the states, the time difference is just too much.
Kyle is a good friend but isn't going to fill this role.
Everyone has other things going on that are more important.
I need someone who will put me first.
Moving home might be better for me, but I don't want to miss out on BSL class. Perhaps if I can hold out till the summer, and then I could spend a month or so there?
But that's 4 months away. What can I do now?
I keep setting myself up for failure.
I need to change how my mind works in order to succeed at most things.
BLAH.


















