misguided

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

watching people on tiktok consume borax is uh. something.

having to say “don’t eat borax” was not on my 2023 bingo

Absolutely love when I Google something I've never heard of and find the reason I've never heard of it is because it's been banned in the EU for safety concerns

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

this summer i will learn italian and french and russian and run a marathon everyday and work for three months and get fifty new ear piercings and read every work of high literature ever created and watch every movie. but most importantly just chill and relax

if you're not obsessed with anything weird and niche please try harder. stop going outside for a while. consider getting weirder about the things you already like

anyone else sick to death of that fucking elephant

Don’t worry babe. I’ll make it fit.

Me talking to my stomach when the food is too good but im already full

my thought process behind every purchase is “what princess wants princess gets”

girls only want one thing

rough sex in a soft relationship