The Audacity to Expect Something Back.
Who benefits from your guilt?
Men love calling women whores the second they expect something in return for giving them access to their bodies. As if their dick is some kind of currency, while a woman's body, time, energy and emotional labor is supposed to come free.
Since when did wanting to be valued become immoral? Or is it only a problem when a woman refuses to give everything while asking for something in return?
The moment you expect effort, generosity, consistency (anything) you become a gold digger. Suddenly you're "using men."
Funny how no one says a man is using a woman when he expects her body, her time, her attention, her softness, and her loyalty without offering much back.
And don't get me wrong. I'm not saying your worth is measured in money. It isn't. But we live in a world where people assign value through what they're willing to invest, whether that's time, effort, care, commitment, or yes, sometimes money. That's the reality, whether we like it or not.
And I'm not telling women to sell themselves. I'm saying this: every intimate relationship should involve reciprocity. Walk away having received something that matters to you. It could be respect, consistency, emotional safety, generosity, commitment, support, whatever you personally value. Don't let anyone shame you for expecting that.
People will use words like whore, gold digger, or materialistic because shame is a powerful way to make women settle for less. They know most people are afraid of being judged. Don't be.
At the end of the day, someone else's opinion is just that -an opinion-. It only has power if you give it power. The only thing that matters is whether you feel respected, valued, and at peace with what you accepted... or what you refused to accept
Pay close attention to the words people choose, especially after you ask for something. That's when you'll learn how they value you, how they value women, and, ultimately, how they value themselves
One word can change everything. One word can make you question yourself, make you feel guilty, make you lower your standards or stop asking altogether. That's why language is such an effective tool for manipulation. The weight carried by a single word often does the work for them. They don't have to control you if they can convince you to control yourself.
Note: Always expect something in return, especially from men. If they're comfortable expecting your body, your time, your attention, your softness, your loyalty... they can handle being expected to give something back.
-xoxo
