New blog, still building

First Afan is pretty sure Seddhun is dead, and now being surrounded by sith he's being encouraged to use that pain and anger (and anger at Seddhun holding him back). His relationship with his siblings is something to be twisted into a suitable 'origin story' if you will, a tragic past to generate strong emotions to strengthen his connection to the Force.

(like the kid on Hutta in the BH origin, where you can kill his dad and tell him it'll be good for his career as a sith)

Finding out Seddhun is alive and living their own life is probably gonna be a shock to him. I'm not sure yet how he would react, but the people they both have become are very different from the people they remember.

Seddhun is increasingly becoming... idk. Gentler, maybe. They're family oriented and their new crew as a BH is definitely bringing that side out again. They do still have few qualms about killing for money. They definitely start out the BH class story as broken, haunted, trying to claw out a new identity, a new place in the world. (New pronouns included.) They become more confident/self assured as the story progresses. They're generally able to keep their work and personal life separate. Mako is a balm.

They're aware their brother is still out there in the galaxy. They wonder what kind of person he has become, and whether they'd even want to find out.

Idk. Yapping. I haven't been speaking much about my ocs on here in a bit but rest assured they are still being rotated at Mach speed in my head lol.

She actually met Anri pretty long before Onslaught. If my timeline isn’t wholly incorrect (and it probably is), they met shortly after Kadasha became the Wrath in 18-19 ATC. Considering how closely Raven Squad seems to work with the emperor/empress, I like to believe that the squad is something closer to an attache to them. Likely does a lot of personal missions close to the top, and Anri's been leading them since their formation.

Due to that, Kadasha’s assignments were likely closely tied to them shortly after Zakuul took power. The attack dog had to have something to do while they were languishing about under the grip of a tyrant, lest she start biting at their allies (or so Acina believed). So, she became very familiar with the Major, and in turn, developed a working relationship with her. While Kadasha typically doesn't care much for crafting connections with those outside her typical social strata, it was impossible not to with Anri. They spent so much time together in meetings and the like that they had to become close so that they could actually execute plans and have the ability to trust the other to do their job.

Now, specifically the first time they met was during a council meeting discussing recon missions on Zakuul's troopers in 18 ATC (so Kadasha was ~23. Anri was probably a little older, headcanoning her around ~26ish, if not a little older at the time being promoted to a Lieutenant. If someone has a more concrete timeline on Anri's age and career, please share it). Kadasha was assigned by Acina to lead that mission, and was given control of Raven Squad to help with the operation. A younger, greener Anri was still under the heel of Acina much to the same degree the Wrath was, so it wasn't like she could actually say anything about suddenly being moved under a different Sith lord so early on to her service as an officer. That first mission was meant to be a test, on just how useful their new Wrath would be, as well as just how skilled a person of Anri's background was. It was well within their interest to do the best that they could here, and that meant relying on each other.

I will not lie right now and say that Kadasha is some amazing paragon of progressivism in the Empire. She's just young and hasn't dug her heels in yet -- she was pretty surprised that a Twi'lek was leading the charge of the Empress's personal spec ops team. So much so that after basic introductions, it was one of the first questions out her mouth. No shame, just straight up wondering aloud like it was just something normal to say and not underhandedly insulting.

Anri seems to take these comments in stride by Onslaught, though it might've tripped her up then so early in her career. Yet another person assuming less of her simply because of what she looked like, but at the very least, Kadasha seemed more neutrally curious rather than particularly racist about it. They're about the same age, and really Anri can't blame her considering she grew up in the same Empire that spent so much time trying to keep her down. She'd just have to work that much harder to prove herself to her new overseeing lord. Still stung of course, not that she says as much right then, but they get off on a pretty shaky start just from that alone. Kadasha doesn't mention anything about her service record or the praises that Acina had for her, just wonders about why she isn't human.

Their first impressions suck with each other, especially considering that Kadasha nearly sacrifices one of Anri's people their first combat mission ever because she thinks she knows better. She learns pretty early on that Kadasha is ruthless, and cares very little for the "little people" that serve under her. Half the soldiers on Raven Squad end up calling her opening move into combat situations the "Queen's Gambit" because of just how balls off the walls it is to just send her into the heart of the fight hoping they'll take out the thickest of the hoard before she goes down.

(It is not an affectionate nickname at first, they dislike it quite a lot because it gives away their position near instantly. Anri is one of them)

It's not exactly smooth sailing for the first year or two, and there's a LOT of work they have to do to understand each other, but after some time that I may write about, they slot rather neatly into their roles. Kadasha takes the brunt of the fire they face, Anri follows up behind her to secure their objective. That's how it works, and it becomes rather comfortable over time. Enough to the point that Kadasha prefers when Raven Squad is assigned to her missions, and Anri is rather relieved when it's Kadasha leading their operations.

Personally, of course, it takes even longer to become friendly, but at some point Anri invites Kadasha out to go drinking with the squad and she actually accepts.

For reference, Anri asks after every engagement, and Kadasha always says no. And then, when Anri gets promoted to Captain some years in (22-23 atc), she actually accepts right then and there after their debriefing.

The whole night is pretty awkward admittedly because who wants to go out with their superior, ever? This is at least until the rest of the squad separates off from them and leaves Anri to talk to her for the night at the bar. Not that she responds with more than one word answers usually, but she listens. Watches. Drinks in the atmosphere and seems to almost relax, even if that barely looks any different to someone else who didn't know her. But she softens around Anri in a way that she doesn't around anyone else, and her Captain notices. There's so much time they spend that night far too close together for their stations, sharing stories back and forth that they'd never remember in the morning. Notably, Anri actually drinks Kadasha under the table in a contest (the latter of whom rarely ever has anything stronger than red wine), and has a very hazy memory of actually hearing the woman laugh. Seeing her smile while half a shot ends up on the bartop than in her, and actually giggles bubbling up out of her all the while.

Seeing her at her most down to earth that night, it's what sparks that attraction on her end. Anri discovers that she ... really likes this side of her. The one that begins to show herself more and more, the one who has inside jokes with her and knows her in the field better than she knows herself. The one that got her hair caught once by a battledroid and tore it's arm off, prying her coils out of it manually. The same one that starts using her surname more than her title. The one who keeps bringing her new sprouts for her garden once she learns of it. The one who bites her nails when she thinks no one is watching. The one who is so painfully human.

So, she does things to get her to show those aspects of herself.

Similarly, and this is a trait that Kadasha shares with her sister, Anri makes her feel ... different. More than who she was bred to be. Kadasha has always had the world and more given to her on a silver platter, but she also worked hard to get to where she is. It's all she's ever really known, but Anri cares. Yes, they're Imperial, and constantly fighting a war on multiple fronts, but she's a people person. She wants things to be better, she wants to push the status quo, she wants to get everyone home safe after a hard mission. She lives among her crew, becomes someone they can rely on and trust. And she's kind. Bitingly sarcastic at times, but kind to Kadasha even if she doesn't really deserve it.

Kadasha ... wants to deserve it. Briefly, at first, until it's painful enough to make her want to change for her.

I can’t quite explain why they weren’t present during the KOTFE/ET expacs but I’ll handwave that away and say they were more ceremonial than anything at the time since there wasn't much the Empire could actually do while under a blockade. When the war kicked back off, they entered the fold as a real spec ops fighting force again. Which also meant that Kadasha and Anri returned back to the frontlines, and worked very closely together again. That's where Zanya meets them again on Ossus. By Ossus, they've been working together for almost a decade, and are very friendly.

Quietly nursing crushes on one another, but Anri won't make a move until she knows it won't compromise their work. Dating a superior officer is just waiting for something to go wrong, and they butt heads enough over strategy. With the Empire fracturing again, they can't afford to be at odds with each other by bringing their personal lives into their day to day. Plus, Anri has dreams of a better Empire that she thinks Kadasha would never agree to, not completely at least. To disagree with a friend is one thing, to disagree with a direct supervisor and lover is another entirely.

Kadasha won't do anything until she's sure of ... well, everything.

Kadasha doesn't do anything halfway. Ever. By then she's ready to kick this off properly and take Anri home. Make her her wife. Make this forever. But Tadhg is already searching for suitors to set her up with to continue the Baize line, especially with Kivo gone, and he's pushing hard for her to continue going on these courtship dates. It's what her father would've wanted, and he hangs that over her head quite a lot. Vowrawn already warns her not to mingle too long among the soldiers because of how unbecoming it is. Kadasha is not stupid enough to forget what happened to Thara and Osiris. She has a responsibility to her house, and Anri threatens to upset that. She loves her so much, but is she willing to give up allying with another Sith house at their weakest for it?

So when I say they should never involve anyone in what they're doing ever, I mean that Anri is fighting a lot of structural barriers to their relationship and Kadasha is fighting the social ones. The yoyo of hearing that Dasha is going on dates but isn't enjoying them might give Anri a heart attack. Her saying it's just her family's expectations and blowing off her concerns is only comforting when it isn't bent in with Kadasha being ... terrifyingly territorial over Anri. Hypocrisy abound, she doesn't want anyone else even looking in her direction, because if she can't have her, no one should -- regardless of how Anri feels. Their power dynamics are wildly fucked as it is, and while they both answer to Vowrawn, their stations in life are incredibly different. Kadasha will always have more power over her, and Anri fears saying no to her sometimes. Others, sure. She has little issue in doing that if it means standing up for what she believes in. But she hesitates with Kadasha, knowing that she could stand between her and a return back to who she was before. That's the secondary reason she hesitates -- does she want to hand her life over to the Wrath like that when she holds so much control over her? One word to Vowrawn, and Anri's done.

You don't break up with a woman that could split your very atoms apart with her mind.

Doesn't matter how many nights they end up in Anri's apartment nudging each other with their shoulders while they're cooking dinner and talking together like nothing else matters. Doesn't matter how many lingering touches and pointed looks they share. Doesn't matter how many times Anri's offered to let her stay the night, or how often Kadasha desperately wants to. Doesn't matter how many flowers she keeps bringing her. Doesn't matter how many dates-that-aren't-dates-but-definitely-are they keep going on. Doesn't matter if, in a perfect world, they would've already been together for years. There are some things that are just too difficult to overcome.