— aca-awesome.

CHLOE BEALE

Although Chloe had really wanted to talk about the things both she and Beca had said at the club the other week, the timing always seemed to be off. And it was okay, it wasn’t like things were exactly awkward between them; Chloe knew Beca needed time, she’d just ended a five year relationship, so she wasn’t going to push. As long as they were okay, she was fine with pushing her feelings aside to maybe bring up at a later date.

But then the awkward massage had happened, and Chloe had walked into the bathroom to see Beca doing...that. And suddenly it felt like it wasn’t something they couldn’t really put off anymore.

It was a sensitive topic, though. Feelings were sensitive, and Chloe had spent the last day trying to figure out how to bring it up in a way that wouldn’t have Beca running for the hills. Still a little lost in her head, she knew she’d been quieter than usual today, and as she laid in bed staring down at her twitching fingers where her hands rested over the top of the covers, she wondered if now might be a good time to just rip the bandaid off. They were in bed for the night, it wasn’t like Beca could really run.

“Bec…” she began quietly, not bothering to turn to look at her. She instead continued to focus on her hands. “I don’t want things to be weird with us, but I feel like they kind of are.” Despite herself, she turned her head to glance in Beca’s direction. “I wasn’t going to say anything about what happened at the club, at least not yet. But things felt off yesterday, and I feel like maybe it’s something we should talk about.”

BECA MITCHELL

In true Beca Mitchell fashion, she’d done everything in her power to force down those pesky feelings--both the very real and borderline inappropriate feelings for her best friend along with the awkward ones surfacing because she had no idea how to handle them. 

The massage was a mistake. Beca wished she would’ve realized how… intense it would feel, and she was nowhere near ready to process how that simple back rub affected her. 

She knew they needed to talk. She knew this just wouldn’t go away, much as she wished it would. Though Chloe promised they’d stay friends no matter what, Beca couldn’t shake the fear of losing her. 

So she had a feeling Chloe would bring it up eventually. It didn’t mean she felt ready to talk about it, but here they were. “Yeah,” she agreed with one word to all of the above. Things had gotten weird. Things felt off. They should talk about it. Beca remained on her back as well, eyes up on the ceiling as she blindly picked at a loose thread on the blanket. She knew Chloe was probably expecting more words from her in that moment, but the fact that she’d agreed to even talk about it was a miracle in and of itself.

CHLOE BEALE

If anything, Chloe was kind of expecting Beca to turn away, or to pretend to be asleep or something, so the one word response was more than she’d counted on. It surprised her, in fact, the realization that she was actually agreeing, and while Chloe knew she was probably going to have to do most of the talking here, she hadn’t actually prepared what exactly she was going to say. “Yeah?” she echoed, sweeping her gaze over Beca’s side profile, before turning to face the ceiling again. “Okay. Um…” her mouth twisted as she thought over what she wanted to say, but instead her words came out as a question—a big question, one she was positive Beca probably wasn’t ready to answer. “Bec, how do you actually feel?”

BECA MITCHELL

How do you feel. The worst question Beca could possibly be asked ever. But this was Chloe asking, so she couldn't deflect. She didn't want to deflect, much as this scared the shit out of her. "Um…" Puffing out a hard breath, Beca licked her lips in an effort to provide moisture there. "High key terrified." There. She'd ripped the band-aid off. (So why was she still internally freaking out?)

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe had never had to have this kind of a talk before. Outside of her high school boyfriend, she’d never really had feelings for anybody, at least nobody that mattered. So, this was new territory for her, and the same way Beca was apparently terrified, so was she. She let out a quiet chuckle, not even thinking about it as she slipped her hand from where it rested over the covers to instead gently take Beca’s hand. She was handsy in general, but maybe right now she just kind of needed the comfort. “That’s not what I meant.” Her volume lowered a little. “I meant it when I said that we would always be okay, but I don’t know how to pretend you didn’t say you...felt something.” She paused, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “You were drunk at the club, and you were really sad the next day, so if that’s all it was, just a drunk sad thing, then that’s okay… but I don’t think that’s what it is for me.”

BECA MITCHELL

With anyone else on the planet, Beca would’ve yanked her hand away. Not Chloe, though. Again--Chloe always played by her own set of rules with Beca. And finally, after… god, how many years? Beca started understanding why. 

“Wish I remembered exactly what I said and how I said it,” she mumbled, though Chloe had given her the gist of course. Keeping her eyes on the ceiling above, Beca summoned her courage. “Wasn’t just a drunk thing. Or a sad thing. Or a drunk sad thing.” 

CHLOE BEALE

Although her heart had begun to race kind of uncomfortably and Chloe didn’t really count on that slowing anytime soon, her body was able to relax at least a little bit when Beca didn’t immediately pull her hand away. Her thumb began to brush softly over Beca’s fingers. “I remember what you said,” she hummed quietly, the confessions having replayed on a seemingly continuous loop in her mind ever since. “And how you said it. In a very drunk voice, right here,” she pointed with her free hand toward her ear, “right in my ear.” Her head turned to glance toward Beca, gaze sweeping over her face. “Then what was it?”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca’s gulp was audible. Just the thought of her whispering confessions into Chloe’s ear shot a rush of warmth through her body, pinkening her skin. “Um, so.” Beca cleared her throat. “I’m not totally sure what it is? That’s what’s scary about it. It’s… different than I felt for Jesse, but definitely just as important? And more intense.” Wincing, she cut a glance to Chloe. “Shit. Sorry. I don’t mean to, like--compare you and him. I just…” She blew out a puff of air. “I don’t know how else to explain it.” And she was doing a shitty job as it was. 

CHLOE BEALE

Despite the way her jaw clenched for half a second at the mention of Jesse, Chloe understood it. It was normal for Beca to compare them; he was her ex boyfriend, after all. Probably the last person she’d felt something for. “It’s okay,” she promised, meeting Beca’s quick gaze. No, she didn’t particularly want to think about Jesse—honestly, Chloe still felt kind of guilty—but something about Beca’s words caused a warm feeling inside of her. “I think it’s more intense because I’m your best friend.” And if something went badly between them, there’d be more to lose, but Chloe opted not to verbalize that particular thought. Instead, she just continued to watch her carefully. “You know that I’m still your best friend, right? Even if we look at each other a different way sometimes, I’m still going to be your best friend. You don’t lose that.”

BECA MITCHELL

Her jaw clenched and she managed a jerky nod, searching Chloe’s eyes. “You promise?” Her lower lip caught between her teeth for a beat. “‘Cause that’s what keeps me awake at night. My stupid feelings… fucking up everything we are because I inevitably do something dumb or make things too weird.” She’d verbalized that fear during her breakdown in the shower, but she needed to say it again. Clearly this time.

CHLOE BEALE

“Pinky promise,” Chloe nodded, twisting her hand to wrap her pinky finger around Beca’s. She understood the fear, it was something she felt herself, but there was something so calming, so strangely reassuring about just lying here and taking comfort from Beca’s eyes, it was suddenly kind of hard to feel too scared. “I mean, I think you’re kind of weird anyway,” she added quietly, pulling her lips inward to bite back her small smirk. “But I’m weird, too. And I think that’s one of the things I like best about you.” She paused to properly digest Beca’s words. “I don’t think you’d do anything stupid, because I think you care too much to do that. And I don’t think your feelings are stupid feelings like you keep calling them. I think they’re just feelings.”

BECA MITCHELL

When their pinky fingers hooked together, Beca’s shoulders relaxed into their mattress. Chloe was right. They were both weirdos, that was why they fit so well as friends. “Okay. Fine. Just feelings then.” Blinking at Chloe in the relative dimness of their makeshift “bedroom”, Beca pulled her lips inward as she surveyed her face. “So… now what?”

CHLOE BEALE

“Just feelings,” Chloe hummed, unhooking their pinkies to instead take Beca’s hand again, her fingers slotting comfortably between Beca’s. The simple question to follow was kind of a loaded one, but Chloe felt surprisingly peaceful as let her eyes quietly study Beca’s, almost a little surprised that Beca hadn’t yet torn her gaze away. “I don’t know,” she admitted, pad of her thumb brushing over the backs of her fingers again. “What do you want now?”

BECA MITCHELL

Exhaling shakily, Beca squeezed Chloe’s hand. “I guess I kinda wanna… explore stuff a little bit?” She licked her lips, scrunching her nose. “But not yet. I don’t want you to feel like some sort of rebound situation because obviously you mean more to me than that.” Relaxing her facial muscles, her expression shifted into a softer, more hopeful one. “Maybe soon though? If you still want to, I mean?”

CHLOE BEALE

The corners of Chloe’s lips twitched upward into a relaxed smile, comforted by the squeeze to her hand. “Explore it how?” she questioned, unable to shift her small smile in response to the way Beca’s expression changed. Her head nodded gently as she studied Beca’s face, gaze drifting upward to meet her eyes once more. “I’m okay with waiting. I think I’ve been waiting for you a little longer than I even realized, so a little more is okay.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca puffed out a few notes of a semi-strained chuckle, rolling her eyes. “Dude, c’mon. You know what I mean. Like--more than friends stuff.” She’d never been more grateful for the shadowy darkness so Chloe couldn’t see the color rising in her cheeks. The next part made her heart skip a beat as bats seemingly took off, flapping away in her stomach. “Dope. Thanks for understanding.” 

CHLOE BEALE

Beca’s chuckle pulled an amused grin to Chloe’s lips. This conversation could’ve definitely gone way worse; the fact that they were able to smile about it definitely spoke volumes. “Well, yeah, but I mean like how? Do I get to ask you on a date?” Although her brows lifted and fell playfully, it really wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t something she’d actually considered before, but the idea of a date with Beca Mitchell drew the good kind of butterflies to her stomach. “Of course,” she nodded. “Maybe no more massages until then, though. I couldn’t do that respectfully…” her nose scrunched. “Not even yesterday.”

BECA MITCHELL

“For real? Dates are for people to try to get to know each other, right? We already know each other.” She blinked, amusement twisting up the corners of her mouth. “You mean you wanna, like… wine and dine and romance me like the total cheeseball you are?” Another rush of heat flooded Beca’s system at the massage memory and she nodded maybe a little too eagerly. “For sure, yeah. Hard agree. I mean, you did great--” Maybe too great. “But yeah. Good call.”

CHLOE BEALE

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Chloe hummed thoughtfully. “I know best friend Beca. I don’t know trying to sell herself on a date Beca.” She’d gotten pretty good at dates herself, even if they were always only with the intention of a mindless hookup afterwards. It might be nice to have one with something more in mind. “I did mean the cheesy thing, though, yes. My parents know each other super well, they’ve been married for years and have three kids and they still go on dates. I think it’s important to romance the person you like.” At least they were on the same page about the massage—and Chloe totally had not forgotten what she’d witnessed afterwards. Releasing their hands, she rolled onto her side to face Beca. “You know, I really thought you were gonna run away when I said we should talk.” She shot her an appreciative smile. “I’m really glad you didn’t.”

BECA MITCHELL

“Sell myself? Get out of here, nerd.” Beca narrowed her eyes in a heatless glare. She softened a few seconds later. “That’s adorable though. Sounds pretty stereotypical Beale to me.” Her own parents split when she was young. All Beca really remembered was hearing them fight. So it was kinda… refreshing, hearing another version of a long-term relationship. One that didn’t break apart. “Yeah, well. What was I gonna do… barge into Amy’s room or run outside in the freezing cold in my underwear?” Huffing a laugh, Beca turned on her side away from Chloe… then did that not-so-slick move where she shuffled back a few inches, hinting for a spoon. “Glad we talked,” she admitted. “G’night, weirdo.”

CHLOE BEALE

BECA MITCHELL

While the cold cucumber slices helped reduce the swelling beneath Beca’s eyes, her stress levels continued mounting throughout the rest of the week. 

In addition to Jesse-related guilt and fielding questions from her parents about the break-up, her shitty boss continued piling impossible projects onto Beca’s workload. 

Lil’ Pimp Lo’s “Bend Over” might be the final straw. 

Beca trudged up the stairs after what felt like a decades-long meeting with BFD’s new “artist” and his weak voice, horrendous love of special effect lasers, and clear Napoleon Complex. Her mood probably couldn’t have been more sour, and after letting herself into the apartment, she set her bag down, toed off her boots, then flopped face-down on her side of the bed. 

CHLOE BEALE

Between school, her internship, her part-time job and the kittens, it was fair to say Chloe was exhausted. She barely had the time for a social life, so when she wasn’t tending to one of her obligations, she was generally just lying around the apartment and trying to keep her eyes open until bedtime, with today being no exception.

She’d fed four of the kittens, and was just finishing up with the fifth when the door opened, Chloe’s lazy gaze flickering toward it to see a sour looking Beca entering their tiny apartment. She followed the way Beca flopped down onto the bed, face scrunching into a frown.

“Good day?” she asked sarcastically, not moving from her slumped back position against her pillows where she balanced a feeding Yellow on her chest. “I know you love Green, but please don’t grab him just yet. They’re all milk drunk, and they’ve really been putting their vocals to use today.”

BECA MITCHELL

“M’gonna rage quit this job one of these days I swear,” Beca mumbled, barely comprehensible into her pillow. Turning her head to look up at Chloe, she reached out to give Yellow a soft stroke on her back. “Don’t grab the kittens. Noted.” She squinted up at Chloe. “You look pretty tired. Wanna order pizza and pass out early tonight?” Sounded like a dream, honestly.

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe breathed out a small sigh, sending Beca a sympathetic look. “There has to be something better for you out there. What happened this time?” She glanced down toward the kitten on her chest, small smile pulling onto her lips as she watched Beca’s fingers dance over her fur. “You read my mind. You know what sounds so good right now?” Her head tipped back into the pillows as she let out a dreamy sigh. “Hawaiian.”

BECA MITCHELL

“Ugh, just got a new client I got assigned to. They keep getting progressively more shitty and obnoxious to work with. Kinda feel like my boss is punking me.” Beca sighed, eager to not think about work. “Yeah, sure. No ham on my half.” But of course Chloe knew that already. “We’ve still got half a six-pack in the fridge, too. You cool ordering? I’m gonna shower real quick.” 

CHLOE BEALE

“Maybe it’s a musician thing,” Chloe’s nose wrinkled. “Aren’t they supposed to be, like, divas and stuff?” As cool as Beca’s job sounded, Chloe didn’t really envy it; it seemed to be more stressful for her than anything else. Pulling the empty syringe from Yellow’s mouth, Chloe pushed herself upward to settle her in her bed with her brothers and sisters. “Got it,” she nodded, twisting to plant her feet on the floor. “Hey, you know before you shower, why don’t you let me give you that massage?” She glanced toward Beca. “Or I guess after, but I have massage oil so you’d have to shower again afterwards, and that seems kind of pointless.”

BECA MITCHELL

“Most of ‘em are, yeah. Or maybe my boss just has bad taste and signs shitty people.” With a shrug, she pushed to sit up, raking her hand through her hair and shaking out its stiffness. She froze when Chloe mentioned the massage, her brow shooting upward. “Oh. Um.” Beca figured Chloe might forget about that offer. Beca certainly hadn’t. “Right now? Are you sure? You said you’re tired, too.”

CHLOE BEALE

“Or your boss knows you won’t take any crap, so you’re the best person for the job,” she shrugged, always intent on putting a positive spin on any situation where she could. Making sure Yellow was comfortably settled, Chloe sat upright again, reaching over to open up her bedside drawer. “Of course I’m sure,” she nodded, retrieving the small bottle of oil—hopefully Beca wouldn’t be too weirded out by the Badd Kitty label. “I’m just tired, but you’re tired and stressed. Massages are great for stress. Besides,” she popped the cap on the oil, holding it out to Beca with a bright grin. “This smells like strawberries. See?”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca appreciated Chloe’s vote of confidence, even if she didn’t fully believe her. Leaning in, she sniffed the bottle and nodded. “Yep. That’s strawberry.” At least it smelled nice. “So, uh--” Beca shrugged off her work blazer. “How much am I supposed to take off here?”

CHLOE BEALE

“Exactly. It’s very relaxing,” Chloe hummed contentedly, pulling the bottle closer to take a sniff herself. A part of her was surprised Beca was even entertaining this, but she wasn’t going to draw attention to it; if Beca was down, Chloe was not complaining. “Umm, however much you want,” she shrugged, “I mean, you can take everything off if you wanna get super relaxed. But definitely everything on the top half. You don’t want oil on your clothes, trust me.” She frowned, turning to look away. “I won’t look.” Not that she hadn’t literally seen Beca’s bare boobs when she’d helped her with her piercings… or when she’d followed her into the shower the other day.

BECA MITCHELL

Perhaps it was sort of inevitable living in such tight quarters with someone so open as Chloe, but even Beca grew somewhat desensitized to having Chloe seeing her in various states of undress. (Only under duress and only for a few seconds at a time.) “Right, got it.” Once Chloe turned, Beca undressed fully up top and pulled on a pair of mesh shorts. Then she swept her hair up into a messy bun atop her head, settling on her side of the bed and looking back at Chloe over her tattooed shoulder. “All set.” 

CHLOE BEALE

While Beca got to work on undressing, Chloe jumped up to grab a towel. The same way they didn’t want oil on their clothes, they didn’t want it on their bed either. She returned with a hand over her eyes, plopping back down onto the bed, and only turning with Beca’s say so. “Awes,” she hummed, shuffling closer to drape the towel across the bed, then settled on her knees beside it. “Lay on your front over the towel. Should I light candles? That would be super relaxing… Or, uh, that’s what I normally do anyway.” So maybe Chloe had never given or received a massage that wasn’t in the build up to sex, but whatever.

BECA MITCHELL

Keeping one hand draped over her chest out of habit, Beca shifted to lie down along the towel. She pillowed her head on her folded arms, shrugging. “Whatever you think? The bright lights kinda suck, so that might be better.” 

CHLOE BEALE

“Candles coming right up,” Chloe nodded dutifully, quickly shuffling from the bed to get to work. “Do you have, like, a relaxing playlist or something?” she suggested as she began to rummage for a lighter. “You could put that on.” It was fortunate that Chloe insisted on decorative candles dotted around the apartment already, so all she had to do was light them while Beca did whatever she needed to do to get comfortable.

BECA MITCHELL

“Oh, uh--yeah, sure.” Beca reached for her phone on the bedside table and thumb scrolled through her vast musical library. She eventually chose a playlist and hit shuffle, setting her phone back as King Princess streamed through the bluetooth speaker. 

CHLOE BEALE

“Perfect,” Chloe smiled, quickly lighting all of the available candles, before bouncing over to flick the light switch. “We probably should’ve done this for our spa night before, it feels way more relaxing already.” As she headed back toward the bed, Chloe crossed her arms over her middle to peel off her sweater, under which she wore a strappy sleeved black cami. She wasn’t trying to get oil on her stuff, either. The top and pajama shorts were fine, though, and Chloe reached for a hair tie as she climbed back onto the bed. “Is it okay if I sit on you?” she hummed, though she’d already begun to climb until she could position her knees on the bed either side of Beca’s thighs as she tied her hair back securely.

BECA MITCHELL

“Sit on me? Um… go for it.” Beca had never received a massage, so she assumed all of this--the lighting, the music, the positioning--was standard. “Just a heads up, the sides of my rib cage are super fucking ticklish and if you tickle me I can’t be held responsible for murder because you’re forewarned.”

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe giggled at the mental image. “Noted,” she nodded, stretching across the bed to grab the bottle of strawberry oil. “Murder would really ruin the whole relaxation thing, so I would really appreciate if you refrained.” Beca was a baby, she’d whined about how cold the cucumber was the other day, so Chloe thought better of squeezing the oil directly onto her back. Instead, she squeezed a bit onto her palm, setting the bottle aside and rubbing her hands together. Her gaze dropped to Beca’s bare back, and the idea that this...might not be the best idea entered her mind. It would be weird to stop now, though, right? Chloe cleared her throat, leaning down to press her hands to Beca’s shoulders. “Where do you feel the most tense?”

BECA MITCHELL

The faint smell of strawberry wafted under her nose after Chloe squeezed the bottle. “Uh… everywhere? I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t tense.” Realizing that wasn’t likely helpful to Chloe, Beca hummed. “Probably my neck and shoulders?” From all the hunching over her laptop and schlepping her laptop and equipment all the time.

CHLOE BEALE

“That’s kind of sad,” Chloe frowned, forcing herself to focus on her hands instead of what she could see of Beca’s naked upper half. The last thing she was supposed to be doing was checking her out, after all. “Lucky for you, though, we’re gonna fix that right now.” Her volume lowered as she ran her fingers gently over the curve of her shoulder and toward her neck—this was supposed to be relaxing, after all. “Here?” Her fingers pressed down, beginning to massage over that exact spot.

BECA MITCHELL

Beca sucked in a sharp breath at first contact, willing herself to relax. Okay so maybe letting Chloe touch her bare skin like this wasn’t the brightest idea, but she’d committed to this so she needed to give it a fair shot. “Yeah,” Beca croaked, clearing her throat. “That’s not bad.” 

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe nodded despite the fact that Beca couldn’t see her. She focused on that same spot, gaze drifting toward the tattoo on Beca’s shoulder while her hands worked. “Pretty,” she hummed, eyes following the outline. She’d never really allowed herself to study Beca’s tattoos before, never really had the opportunity from this angle. It felt better than letting herself look down her body, though. “Your tattoo.” Her hand instinctively slid across Beca’s shoulder until her fingers could begin to trace the outline, though she stopped herself quickly, instead pushing down her palm to gently massage.

BECA MITCHELL

Plenty of people had commented on Beca’s tattoos before in both positive and negative ways (lookin’ at you, grandma). But nobody had ever studied them. Nobody had ever traced one with fingertips, and the simple act rendered Beca speechless for a few solid seconds before she managed to husk out a raspy “Thanks.” The added pressure only pulled a soft groan which… Beca realized a beat too late probably sounded, like… inappropriate for a massage. She tried ignoring it though. Maybe Chloe didn’t notice. 

CHLOE BEALE

Beca’s audible reaction had Chloe’s teeth sinking into her bottom lip. Her other hand slid to Beca’s opposite shoulder, paying the same attention to both. She sucked in a steadying breath, thumb brushing over the tattoo. “Bec, is this…” she trailed off, about to ask if this was weird, but if it wasn’t already, that was probably a good way to make it weird. She settled instead on licking her lips and continuing quietly with, “is this okay?” She wasn’t necessarily asking how the massage felt, at least not physically.

BECA MITCHELL

“Mhm,” Beca managed, her tone pitchy through pursed lips, afraid what sound might escape if she opened her mouth in that moment. Inhaling deeply through her nose, she finally let out her exhale through her mouth, willing herself to relax. That was the point of this, wasn’t it? “You good?” she croaked after another minute or so, glancing at Chloe over her shoulder.

CHLOE BEALE

Of the two, Chloe was the least likely to ever find anything awkward, but apparently the same could not be said for right now. Maybe it was just because of their confessions, the ones they had yet to revisit—Chloe wasn’t sure if they ever even would, in fact—but she couldn’t help but feel...really, really weird. In spite of herself, she bit back an honest response, and instead just shot Beca a forced smile. “Mhm,” she echoed, bringing her gaze back to her slowly moving hands. “If you’re good, I’m good.”

BECA MITCHELL

When Beca agreed to this massage, she definitely hadn’t anticipated the weird cascade of sensations coursing through her body. Uncomfortable heat pooling low in her belly and tingling throughout her limbs, causing her breathing to shallow significantly. 

Of course, Beca chalked that up to her discomfort and anxiety with people touching her in general and not what it actually was. 

Surging arousal. The sort she’d never really experienced before. 

After another few minutes of enjoying Chloe’s hands on her a little too much, she gave in. “Actually…” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. “I’m hungrier than I thought. Mind ordering dinner now? I’ll hop in the shower and run out to pick it up so we don’t have to pay the delivery fee.” Beca honestly craved fresh air, hoping the frigid winter air might help cool her body temperature and chill her brain.

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe always wanted to help Beca to feel better, so it wasn’t like she didn’t want to do this. The problem was that she was kind of enjoying touching Beca a little too much, so although she tried to preoccupy her mind by humming along quietly with the music, when Beca spoke up again, Chloe silently cheered.

She instantly paused the movement of her hands, sinking back to sit on Beca’s thighs with her hands falling into her lap. “Mm, yeah, food sounds good,” she agreed, gaze unintentionally sweeping over her back, before Chloe quickly lifted it again. “The delivery fee is fine, I can get it.” She shuffled to climb off of her, instead kneeling on the mattress beside her. “I bet if I order right now, it’ll probably be here when you’re done with your shower, right?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Cool. Thanks. I’ll Venmo you half.” Keeping her back to Chloe, Beca ducked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She’d intended on taking a quick one, except… the hot water felt a little too good pelting down on her new piercings. Combined with the incessant, pulsating throb pounding between her legs in time with her heartbeat, Beca couldn’t resist bracing her right hand flat against the wall to steady herself as she yanked the shower head off its hinge and directed the spray where she needed it most. Biting down so hard on her lip she nearly drew blood, Beca mostly managed to keep her mewls and moans quiet enough to not be heard over the water as she worked herself over the edge in a shuddering finale. 

CHLOE BEALE

“No, it’s fine. I’ve got it,” Chloe shrugged, hopping from the bed and heading directly for the kitchen sink to clean off her oily hands before ordering their food. She forced herself to keep her eyes directed away even as she heard Beca standing, thoughts entirely consumed by the mental image of her hands on Beca’s bare body—and that damn noise Beca had made. Maybe she should shower soon…

The last thing Chloe had wanted was anything between them to be weird, but suddenly it felt like it was, and she really could not handle the thought of things only worsening the way she was sure they would if they didn’t talk soon.

Her worries began to consume her as she shuffled back toward the bed to order their food, and she decided she really needed to initiate a conversation. It was probably something that could wait until after Beca’s shower, but Chloe had never really cared for privacy, so she didn’t really think about it as she headed for the bathroom, pausing only briefly, before pushing open the door.

Although she opened her mouth to announce her presence, she was instantly cut off by the quiet sounds coming from the shower, and Chloe’s eyes widened as she glanced toward the curtain to see… No, she totally wasn’t seeing what she thought she was seeing. Was she? Teeth sinking into her bottom lip, she slowly backed out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

BECA MITCHELL

Beca hadn’t intended on taking a half-day. But she’d been planning on finally sitting Jesse down to have the conversation she’d been dreading for weeks now after work. She wasn’t able to focus on her projects that morning, so she decided she better leave work early and get on with it. 

As predicted, breaking up with her boyfriend of almost five years was… awful. Heartbreaking. The most difficult emotional conversation she’d ever had, hands down. She wished she’d dropped hints, told him she’d been feeling disconnected for a long time. She wished she didn’t completely blindside him AFTER he’d surprised her by moving across the entire country. 

At first he lashed out, then his anger morphed into unbearable sadness. 

Beca said all the wrong things, of course. Lines she promised herself she wouldn’t use spewed out anyway because they felt like the truth. 

“It’s not you, it’s me. I’m the problem.”

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you the way I should be. You deserve better--someone who can love you the way you should be loved.” 

“You’re still my best friend, Jesse. I understand if you need some space but I hope we can still be friends eventually.”

Beca cringed as some of those awful phrases repeated in her head on loop during her brisk walk home. She only hoped he heard the sincerity in her tone and chose to focus on that rather than the words themselves. 

By the time she trudged up the stairs and let herself in, she knew she looked pretty damn worn out. Bone-weary exhaustion made her movements sluggish. She was dehydrated from crying, her eyes red-rimmed and cheeks blotchy with dried tears. Beca dropped her bag by the door and struggled with the laces of her boots, sniffling as she felt another tearful wave coming on.

Ugh, not again.

CHLOE BEALE

It was perhaps a little unfair that Chloe found herself so on edge today. It wasn’t like she was breaking up with anybody. It was always difficult for her not to feel Beca’s pain, though, so with the knowledge that Beca was headed to break up with her long-term boyfriend, Chloe was...well, kind of on edge.

Maybe that was why she’d lashed out at Aubrey a little bit—well, that and the fact that Aubrey had apparently known Chloe’s mind before she’d even known it herself, but still, that was really no excuse. Deep down, she was just really worried about Beca, even going so far as to offer to go with her to Jesse’s place, despite knowing what a terrible idea that was and that it likely wouldn’t help at all.

So, after Aubrey left, all Chloe could really do was sit around and wait impatiently to be there for her best friend. Because that’s what Beca was above everything else, despite whatever they may have spoken about over the weekend, she was her best friend, and Chloe figured that was what Beca needed right now.

She also didn’t want to overcrowd her, though, so as she heard the door opening, seated on her side of the bed with her legs tucked beneath her and scrolling through her phone, Chloe didn’t immediately jump up. She simply glanced toward a downtrodden looking Beca, heart aching in response to the sad sounding sniffle. “Hey,” she greeted gently, immediately setting down her phone and beginning to push herself from the bed. “Um, how did it go?” Chloe asked, cautiously making her way across the small stretch of floor and toward the doorway. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she stretched out a hand to rest against Beca’s shoulder. “Actually, first… Bec, are you okay?”

BECA MITCHELL

Ever since Beca’s emotional breakdown on Sunday, things between her and Chloe… felt pretty normal? Which Beca appreciated more than she could say. Though they definitely needed to pull their confessions out of that locked box to poke at it at some point, right now… Beca just needed normalcy. She craved it more than anything in the moment. “It was awful, but I didn’t expect it to be good or anything.” Puffing out a sigh, she ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. “I just kinda feel like the shittiest human on the planet right now. I guess that’ll pass eventually.” Her shoulders lifted in a slight shrug. “I know I did the right thing though. He deserves… someone who can love him the right away, you know? The romantic kinda way.”

CHLOE BEALE

Cautiously pulling back her hand when it became clear that Beca wasn’t about to have a whole breakdown right there and then, Chloe quietly watched her as she began to explain, dutifully nodding along in understanding. She had never actually had a serious relationship of her own, she’d never had to break up with anybody, so she didn’t totally get it, but she could still be there for Beca. “You did do the right thing,” she promised with another short nod of her head, arms folding comfortably across her middle. “And I know you feel like a shitty person, but you’re not. People fall out of love, Bec. It just...happens,” Chloe frowned, taking a step back out of Beca’s space. “He didn’t see it coming? Like, at all?” Chloe had seen it coming, apparently Aubrey had, too. Surely Jesse had to have some idea, right?

BECA MITCHELL

She knew she did the right thing, but Chloe’s reassurance definitely helped. “Yeah. It still sucks.” Beca shuffled over to the kitten box to scoop up her Green Goblin, carrying him over to her side of the bed before settling in comfortably. He snuggled atop her chest and she stroked his fur. “You know Jesse. He thinks his life’s a freakin’ movie. If he saw it, he probably ignored it, you know?” Beca frowned. “I should’ve realized it sooner. I kinda wish he gave me a heads up before he moved across the country but… that’s not my fault, right?”

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe watched as Beca scooped up the kitten she’d just gotten fed and settled, though chose not to say anything. If she wanted that comfort right now, who was Chloe to stop her? Green always seemed the happiest when he was with his Beca anyway, so Chloe simply shuffled toward the bed too, neatly seating herself on the foot at Beca’s side. “True,” she shrugged, almost feeling guilty for weighing in on anything Jesse related, as strange as that may have seemed. She knew she hadn’t been the cause of their breakup, that it had likely been a long time coming, but Aubrey had kind of put the idea in her head that she’d played some part in it, so she couldn’t help the way that began to nag.

“Of course it’s not your fault. I don’t really have much experience when it comes to relationships, but I’m pretty sure people are supposed to discuss the big things with each other. And moving across the country is definitely a big thing,” Chloe said with a wrinkle of her nose. She paused then, chewing on the inside of her cheek in thought. “I knew you weren’t super happy about that. I guess I didn’t know you were this unhappy about it, but I mean…” she trailed off with a small shrug. “He should’ve told you. Do you think he would’ve still moved here? You know, if you’d broken up before?”

BECA MITCHELL

“I doubt it. Pretty sure he just assumed I was gonna move in with him as soon as I could, which isn’t cool to you guys too, y’know? But I should’ve definitely figured out my own shit sooner. I honestly didn’t realize I was as unhappy as I’d been until I felt super pressured to change my life around for him.” Beca glanced up at Chloe. “Kinda relieved I don’t need to move out now. Bad news is you’re stuck with me for a while longer.” She managed a weak smile. 

CHLOE BEALE

“He was expecting a lot of you,” Chloe nodded—she knew how (not) well Beca coped with change… Jesse should’ve known it too, in fact, but Chloe wasn’t going to comment on that. “Well, I didn’t want you to go. And Green would’ve been super sad, too,” she mirrored Beca’s weak smile, motioning to the kitten curled up on her chest. “That wasn’t the only reason you broke up with him, right? Because he wanted you to move in with him?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Yeah. He always had me cast as his leading lady love interest but life isn’t a damn movie.” Beca sighed, brushing a kiss to Green’s head. She blinked up at Chloe at the question. “It was more of the fact that, like… I should’ve been really excited to move in with him but I didn’t want to. That was kind of the biggest red flag that my feelings weren’t as… intense as they should’ve been for being with someone for that long.” She paused, glancing down to the kitten. “I guess I just started figuring out that the way I love Jesse isn’t that romantic kind he expected. I thought it was for a while, but…” Beca trailed off. “It’s just not.”

CHLOE BEALE

It was difficult not to join in and to tell Beca exactly what she thought, that Jesse really did want too much of her, that maybe he hadn’t even deserved her. He had clearly wanted something that Beca wasn’t, but again, Chloe was not going to say so aloud. Instead, she just continued to quietly nod along. “Well, I’m proud of you, Bec. I know you might not feel good about yourself right now, but you did what you had to do, and I’m proud of you.” She offered her another small smile, though paused as her gaze fell from Beca’s face to instead focus on the kitten. It probably wasn’t the right time to ask, especially because what Beca needed right now was a friend, but Chloe couldn’t stop the nagging in her mind, and her lips pulled inward as she thought over how to word her question. “I know you’ve probably been feeling like this for a while,” she began kind of slowly, “but it didn’t have anything to do with the weekend, right?” Her bottom lip sucked in between her teeth. “What we talked about?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Thanks.” She didn’t feel like she deserved anyone’s pride, but Chloe always had a habit of lifting her spirits even when she didn’t think it possible. Chloe’s question and subtle shift in demeanor sent Beca’s brow crawling toward her hairline. She shook her head. “What? No. I mean--not directly, at least.” She exhaled in a strained sort of chuckle. Beca wished she’d been able to remember Saturday night’s events, but she’d need to take Chloe’s word on what happened. “Me and Jesse breaking up has probably been a long time coming. I feel like shit that I hurt him but I’m also pretty relieved.”

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe responded with an encouraging smile. She knew Beca, she knew she definitely didn’t want praise, but if Chloe thought something, she was going to say it, and she knew that Beca knew that, too. Once she’d asked her question, she brought her gaze back up to Beca’s face, an unfair amount of relief washing over her at the response. “Okay,” she nodded. “Good. I mean, not good... I don’t know, Aubrey just kind of put it in my head.” She paused then, before adding, “I didn’t say anything to her, by the way. I guess she’s just been thinking some things.” Her nose wrinkled. “Maybe they all have.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca’s head tilted to the side while she continued running her fingertips through Green’s soft fur. “She put what in your head?” Beca frowned. “What did she say to you?” Despite she and Aubrey declaring a truce after their first ICCA victory, Beca’s protective instinct when it came to Aubrey’s controlling nature in her friendship with Chloe remained wholly intact. 

CHLOE BEALE

“Blame, I guess?” Chloe shrugged halfheartedly, shuffling over to position herself at her own side of the bed to settle in beside Beca and the kitten with her pillows propped up beside her. “She said…” she paused, mouth twisting as she thought back over their earlier conversation. Admittedly, a lot of it had been kind of blurry. “Something like after what she saw at Output, she doesn’t want me to think I’m to blame. I don’t know what she saw,” she shrugged again, reaching over to gently run her fingers over the top of Green’s head. “But I guess she thinks she saw something.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca couldn’t help it--her eyes rolled hard. “She needs to mind her own damn business.” Softening a beat later, Beca’s fingers sort of accidentally-on-purpose brushed Chloe’s while she stroked Green Goblin’s head. “Hey. It’s not your fault, okay? I promise. It’s my own fault for… not figuring my own shit out sooner, you know?” Beca’s shoulders lifted slightly and she cast another tight-lipped grin her way. “But it is what it is. And right now…” She blinked. “Holy shit, now I’m like… single?” Beca grimaced as she spoke her new status aloud. “Weird. Okay. Cool. Weird but cool.” 

CHLOE BEALE

“I think she means well,” Chloe chuckled softly, eyes down on the way their hands moved over the kitten’s fur. A small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips as Beca’s fingers brushed against her own, with Chloe allowing herself a brief glance upward, before dropping her gaze back to the kitten. “I don’t think you’re at fault either, Bec. You figured things out when you figured them out, you couldn’t have forced yourself to do it sooner,” she shrugged. Her nose wrinkled at the sound of Beca Mitchell and single together… After five years, it was super weird. “You are,” she nodded, letting out another soft chuckle as she glanced toward Beca’s face again. “That’s kind of exciting, right?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Uh. If by exciting you mean low-key terrifying, sure.” She scrunched up her nose in return. “Dating randos sounds torturous and honestly, and I feel like I’m supposed to work on bettering myself or some shit. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do after an intense breakup?” 

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe’s heart had no right to tug in the way it did at the idea of Beca dating. Just because they’d drunkenly confessed some things to each other didn’t necessarily mean anything, so Chloe bit back her disappointment. “Something like that,” she agreed, twisting to lean back against her pillows. “I could help you set up Tinder, if you want. Most people on there are super creepy, but it’s fine for if you just want a little fun.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca pulled another disgusted face. “Definitely not. Appreciate the offer, but I’m good.” Why would she willingly subject herself to creepers? Hard pass. “Anyway, I didn’t mean dating. I meant like--maybe taking some time to figure out my shitty situation at work so I’m less miserable and stressed all the time. Maybe I’ll drink a smoothie with a piece of lettuce in it once in a while. Stuff like that.” 

CHLOE BEALE

“You said dating randos,” Chloe pointed out. “Tinder is rando central.” Her brow quirked as Beca continued, and Chloe couldn’t quite bite back her amused smile. “A smoothie with lettuce will definitely solve all of your problems,” she teased, leaning over the side of the bed to check on the kittens where they slept in their box. “Speaking of lettuce, do we have cucumber? Your eyes are super puffy. They look sore, we could cut up cucumber slices and have our own little spa right here.”

BECA MITCHELL

“I said dating randos sounds torturous as in--I have no interest in doing that ever.” When Chloe mentioned her puffy eyes, Beca sighed. “Yeah, romaine calm. There’s a cucumber in the fridge.” She leaned over to set Green back in his box.  “Lettuce have a little spa day. Auntie Beca filled her cry quota for the next five years.”

CHLOE BEALE

Satisfied that the kittens were all sleeping comfortably, Chloe began to push herself from the bed. She winced at Beca’s terrible pun—both of them. “Oh, that was painful,” she giggled, rolling up the long sleeves of her sweater as she shuffled toward the fridge. “You’re Mama Beca, by the way. Not Auntie. Do you want anything to drink?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Shhh… you gotta deal with my dad jokes, I’m in relationship mourning.” That was a thing, right? It definitely felt like someone died. “Water would be clutch.” God knew she cried too damn much and needed more hydration. She blinked after a beat, processing Chloe’s words. “What do you mean, Mama Beca?”

CHLOE BEALE

“Fine, you get a free pass just for the rest of today, then I get to complain again,” Chloe teased, grabbing both the water pitcher and the wrapped cucumber half from the fridge. She’d assumed she’d probably have to take care of a defeated Beca today—not that she minded; Chloe always liked to be doing something—but she hadn’t anticipated an at home spa night. She was kind of into it, though, and got to work on slicing up the cucumber. “To the kittens,” she shrugged, setting four slices onto a small plate, before starting on the water. “We’re their foster moms, remember? Not their foster aunts. You’re Mama Beca and I’m Mama Chloe.”

BECA MITCHELL

A weird flutter batted in her stomach when Chloe reminded her of their official cat foster mom titles. “Right, right. Yeah. Cool.” She drummed her fingers on her stomach before noting her bitten down nails, most of the polish chipped off. “What else do we do for spa day? Guess I could repaint my nails…” 

CHLOE BEALE

Water poured into two glasses, Chloe balanced the plate on top of one of them as she carried them toward the bed. “I really think I missed my calling as a waitress,” she hummed, handing the other glass over to Beca, before shuffling back to her own side of the bed. “We could paint each other’s nails,” she suggested with brightened eyes. “I also think I have some face masks in the bathroom. But you need the cucumber first,” she frowned, plopping down into her spot again, this time with her legs crossed and her body facing Beca as she held out the plate.

BECA MITCHELL

“I’m not the best at painting nails but I’ll try if you want.” Beca accepted the water with a tight-lipped grin, chugging down a few gulps before setting it on her bedside table. Then she snagged two cucumbers from the plate. “This is gross. Is it gonna feel slimy?” Without waiting for a response, she lay back and rested the slices over her eyes. “Dude that’s cold!” But that was the point, right? To reduce the swelling.

CHLOE BEALE

“That’s okay,” Chloe shrugged, lifting her own glass up to her mouth to take a slow sip. “I’m not really supposed to wear nail polish at work anyway. I’ll be taking it right back off, so you can do your worst. I can paint yours, though.” She leaned over the side of the bed to set her glass down on the floor, then straightened as she watched Beca relaxing back into her pillows. “It’s supposed to be cold,” she giggled, reaching toward the plate to pick up a cucumber slice. “You know, my eyes are fine.” Rather than lean back like Beca had, Chloe instead popped the cucumber into her mouth. “Want me to paint your nails while you lay there?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Oh, uh--sure. If you want to.” Beca motioned to her bedside table. “Mine’s in the drawer there.” A shade of purple nail polish dark enough that it looked black, of course. She’d hardly ever worn any other color. Also inside Beca’s bedside table drawer, Chloe would spot two spare pairs of earbuds, hair ties, and a pile of greeting cards from Chloe and the other Bellas that Beca received over the years for birthdays, holidays, or random occasions. 

CHLOE BEALE

“Awes,” Chloe grinned excitedly, pushing the plate and its one lone slice of cucumber aside, then stretched her body to lean across Beca’s middle in pursuit of her bedside drawer. “Do you ever think about wearing a different color?” Chloe hummed as she scrambled through Beca’s belongings to retrieve the small bottle of dark purple nail polish. Her gaze swept over the collection of saved cards, lips tugging upward at the sight. “It’s really sweet that you kept all of these. Oh, this one’s from me!” She sat back again with the nail polish in one hand and a familiar card held in the other, small smile settled on her lips as she scanned over the front. “The grumpy cat on the front is you.”

BECA MITCHELL

“Nope. Gotta match my dark soul,” she muttered, her other senses suddenly heightened now that she couldn’t see thanks to the veggie slices. She made sure to keep extra still when Chloe stretched across her, not wanting to like… accidentally brush anything. Beca forgot she kept all those cards, a soft blush rising in her cheeks. “Don’t tell the girls I kept them.” She had a badass reputation to uphold, after all. 

CHLOE BEALE

“Right,” Chloe agreed with a playful roll of her eyes. Beca’s ‘dark soul’ was not quite as dark as she seemed to think it was, the collection of saved greeting cards being the perfect example. Chloe smiled fondly down at the card as it rested in her lap. “Your secret’s safe with me, Bec.” She recalled telling her the same thing back at the club. Stretching over Beca’s body once more, this time to set the card down on her bedside table, Chloe soon leaned back to rummage through her own drawer for a bottle of nail polish remover. “I can give you a hand massage and everything, you know?” Chloe hummed thoughtfully as she tipped out a splash of remover onto the accompanying pad, before scooting closer to gently pick up Beca’s hand. Chloe couldn’t resist the way her thumb brushed softly over Beca’s fingers, before setting it down against her thigh. “What’s your perfect spa day? What treatments would you get?”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca realized then and there that she wouldn’t trust anyone else with this. Letting them touch her hand and apply anything to her body while her eyes were closed. But Chloe had always played by her own set of rules, and Beca licked her lips  and swallowed hard when Chloe settled her hand on Chloe’s thigh, hypersensitive to every brush and stroke. “Um… this is as ‘spa day’ as I’ve ever really had. I heard massages are excellent for stress relief but I’ve never been into strangers touching me so I probably wouldn’t enjoy it.” 

CHLOE BEALE

“You’ve never been to a spa before?” Chloe asked with widened eyes, gaze drifting briefly toward Beca’s face, before falling back to the hand settled on her thigh. “You’re really missing out, Bec.” Slipping her hand palm up beneath Beca’s, Chloe got to work on wiping away the chipped nail polish. “You’d let me touch you, though, right?” she questioned, tongue poking out in concentration.

BECA MITCHELL

Beca snorted. “Do I look like the kind of person who goes to the spa?” An amused smile played on her lips for a beat as she tried picturing herself getting pampered. The follow-up question made Beca shrug. “I’m letting you touch me right now, aren’t I?” It was just her hands, but still…

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe shrugged. “I mean, right now you do. You’re laid on our bed with cucumber slices over your eyes while someone cleans up your bad nail polish job. Seems pretty spa-like to me.” She reached for Beca’s other hand to begin cleaning the old polish from that one, too. “I didn’t mean right now, I meant like a massage. I’m told I give very good massages, it’s in my Tinder bio.”

BECA MITCHELL

Well, she couldn’t argue with that. The offer of a massage, though… it set her hand twitching reflexively on Chloe’s leg. The simple thought of Chloe running her hands over her bare back and shoulders for an extended period of time made Beca’s mouth dry up, and she casually and blindly reached for her water glass. “Okay. Maybe some other time.”

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe took note of the slight twitch to Beca’s hand, eyes lifting to read what she could see of her expression. She wasn’t trying to make her uncomfortable, but it was difficult not to allow her mind to drift elsewhere, especially after their confessions. There was something very appealing about the idea of Beca allowing her to massage her, however innocently, and the mental image caused Chloe’s teeth to sink into her bottom lip. “Awes,” Chloe murmured, dropping the pad out of the way and reaching instead for the nail polish bottle, then got to work on the hand closest to her. “How do the cucumber slices feel? Are they helping?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Cold and slimy,” Beca confirmed. “Doesn’t hurt? I dunno. Guess you’ll be able to tell me if the puffiness went down whenever it’s time to take ‘em off.” 

Beca remained compliant during the rest of the spa session, grateful the cucumbers seemed to have helped the swelling. She remained exhausted though, bone-weary and yawning as she tested the top of her nails to make sure they were thoroughly dry. “Thanks for this, Chlo. I’ll paint yours next time. Kinda need a nap before dinner if that’s cool?”

CHLOE BEALE

It wasn’t like Chloe expected an impromptu pamper session to take all of Beca’s worries away, but by the time they were done, Beca at least looked a little less beaten down. Her eyes were less red and puffy, at least. Drifting back from the kitchen, where she’d tossed the cucumber slices out and left the plate in the sink to deal with later, she sent Beca a small smile. “Of course.” Normally, she would not have thought twice about climbing into bed and joining Beca for a short nap, but considering the day Beca had had, Chloe wasn’t sure whether she’d be wanting her own space or not. She rocked on her heels as she stood by the foot of the bed. “Can I nap with you?”

BECA MITCHELL

While Chloe got up, Beca made a quick change into a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. Her whole body hurt from spending so much time crying which served as a reminder as to why she kept her emotions bottled up as often as possible. “Yeah, sure. It’s your bed, too.” Beca drew the curtains closed above the bed, casting a darkness over the space before she crawled beneath the covers.

CHLOE BEALE

“I know,” Chloe shrugged, “I just didn’t know if you wanted some time on your own or something.” Regardless, with Beca’s blessing, Chloe shuffled to her side of the bed, plopping down to peer into the kitten box, before wriggling under the covers. Twisting onto her side to face Beca, Chloe flashed her another small smile. “Do you feel a little better?”

BECA MITCHELL

“A little, yeah. Thanks.” She managed a tight-lipped smile, resting her hands over her stomach as she stared up at the ceiling. “It’ll just take some time, I guess. Time for the sadness and guilt to go away. I’ll get through it.” 

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe gently nodded her head. “You will. You’re strong, Bec.” Her gaze dropped to Beca’s hands where they settled on her stomach, and while the idea to stretch out a hand to rest over the top of Beca’s entered her mind briefly, Chloe decided against it—she’d been questioning her actions more than usual when it came to Beca lately. “Napping will help, too,” she hummed. “Sleep is healing.”

BECA MITCHELL

She sure as hell didn’t feel strong. She’d honestly never felt weaker or more vulnerable. But she believed Chloe, trusting she’d never lie to her. “Hell yeah it is. ‘Night, Chlo.” Beca turned away from Chloe, though she definitely craved her closeness. She scooted her body back a few inches in a nonverbal invitation, hoping Chloe would read her signals because of course she couldn’t just ask for what she wanted. 

CHLOE BEALE

CHLOE BEALE

Sometimes, Chloe would wake up the morning after a night of drinking with a strangely clear head and no signs of a hangover. Unfortunately, however, this morning was absolutely not one of those times, and Chloe blinked open her eyes to the sight of way too bright morning light spilling in through the window and alerting her to the obnoxious pounding in her head. She loved the kittens, but thank God they were still with Benji, because even her own quiet whine was enough to cause her ears to ring.

A cool shower felt like a good idea, but the prospect of moving too much made Chloe feel instantly sick, so she figured she’d wait until she had a little coffee in her system for that. For now, she simply forced herself to sit upward in preparation of eventually peeling herself from the bed altogether and heading for the kitchen, but even that task could wait a moment, too. Her new position told her that changing for bed had apparently been too much of an inconvenience for her last night, considering Chloe was dressed in the bra and panties she’d been wearing and nothing else, and definitely had last night’s makeup smeared across her face still, but that was really the least of her worries.

Blinking slowly as she hiked the covers up over her exposed stomach, she glanced toward her best friend, at first blissfully unaware of their previous night’s incredibly intense conversation. “Bec,” she croaked, sticking out a hand to poke Beca’s shoulder. “Are you awake? Or at least alive?”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca had face planted onto bed the night before, not bothering with any blankets. In her drunken state, she somehow managed to get her jumpsuit half peeled down but apparently gave up halfway through the battle, leaving her clad in the bottom portion along with her black bra. 

She stirred thanks to the shifting of the mattress and the rude-as-fuck light filtering in through the curtains. “No,” she grumped, turning in an attempt to suffocate herself with her pillow. “Never drinking again,” she mumbled, probably incomprehensible to Chloe but whatever. Her head hurt. Correction--her whole body hurt.

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe quietly groaned in response, head nodding along in agreement despite the fact that Beca’s face was buried in her pillow. “Me either,” she frowned, lazy gaze sweeping over Beca’s exposed back. Why they’d even allowed themselves to drink to that excess, Chloe really did not know, especially because she had a class to teach later today, one that she needed energy and the ability to keep food down for. The very thought caused her to whine.

Despite herself, Chloe forced herself to twist her body until her bare feet were pressing to the floor, stomach turning with the apparently too fast motion. “Why did we have to go that hard?” she sighed, using what little energy she had to finally push herself unsteadily to her feet. She didn’t even bother with clothes, and instead simply began to shuffle in her underwear toward the kitchen. “I’m gonna make coffee, do you want some?”

BECA MITCHELL

“We’re fucking idiots, that’s why.” Beca’s voice carried a special rasp only present after a club night--almost like she chain smoked three packs a day. She needed more sleep. She needed medicine. She needed a shower. Probably food would be good, too. But she just… didn’t wanna move. 

A pathetic whimper escaped and she flopped miserably onto her back, casting her forearm over her eyes in a weak effort to block out the light. “Yeah. D’you know if everyone got home okay?” Beca typically remained the most sober of the bunch for that very reason. But she really didn’t feel like dealing with the group chat right now. Or dealing with much of anything, to be honest.

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe certainly was not going to disagree with that. It was pretty typical of her, though; the same could not be said for Beca. She thought back to the night before, trying to envision a completely wasted Beca Mitchell as she began to prepare their coffee. “I don’t know,” she bit her lip at the question, mad at herself for not immediately checking the group chat. “I hope so. I mean, I’m pretty sure I can hear Amy snoring, so she at least did.”

Stretching to reach for mugs made Chloe whine, though the mention of their third roommate pulled a vivid image to her mind: Chloe, seated in Beca’s lap, and Amy telling her to give her a lap dance. Despite her pounding head, she couldn’t help her soft chuckle at the memory, even if it did kind of hurt her throat. She’d likely been screaming along with the music at some point. “Do you even remember anything from last night?” she questioned, turning to shoot Beca an amused look. “Like your lap dance?”

BECA MITCHELL

“Uh…” Thinking hurt, too. Like--she swore the act of trying to remember made each strand of hair ache. “I remember you painting something on my face. That’s about it.” The sluggish processing definitely was part of the hangover too and she snorted. “My what?” 

CHLOE BEALE

“Your rainbow,” Chloe nodded, motioning toward Beca’s cheek. Their pillows were probably covered in paint remnants, but that was an easier fix than their pounding heads. She leaned back against the counter as she waited for the coffee to brew, mischievous grin on her tired face. “I gave you a lap dance.” Chloe paused then, lips pursing as she thought over the aftermath. They’d danced after, but they didn’t just dance. They’d talked, too, and while it was taking a few moments for Chloe’s mind to fully adjust, their surprising conversation seemed to suddenly come flooding back. “Uh, Bec, don’t you remember anything?”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca groaned, her cheeks flaring at the thought of Chloe giving her a lap dance. And it had actually happened? Fuck. “You would,” she mumbled, wincing as she forced herself to sit upright. Passing out in her makeup had given her serious raccoon eyes and she squinted at Chloe across the tiny apartment. “No? What else did I forget?” She puffed out an anxious chuckle, raking her hand through her hair. “Fuck. I haven’t gotten blackout drunk in like… I dunno, years I guess.” 

CHLOE BEALE

While she’d been amused at the thought initially, once the resulting conversation entered her mind, Chloe suddenly didn’t feel quite so smug. In reality, she felt a little...weird. “Can you toss me a sweater or something?” she asked, ignoring Beca’s question for now and simply focusing on fixing their drinks.

BECA MITCHELL

Blinking a few times, Beca sensed Chloe’s shift in mood. Only she couldn’t put her finger on why. Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried harder to recall any memories from the night before, only to come up empty. “Yeah, sure.” Grimacing as she reached over her side of the bed, she tossed Chloe one of her own hoodies. Chloe’s side was too far. “What happened, dude? Did I make a fool out of myself or something? If I did… I mean you know Amy’s gonna definitely tell me so you might as well just rip the bandaid off…”

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe turned only to catch the hoodie, then quickly shrugged it on to at least cover her top half. It was probably going to be a weird conversation to have in only her underwear. Her lips pulled inward as she picked up the two freshly filled mugs, carrying them carefully back toward the bed. “No, nothing like that,” Chloe promised, handing one of the mugs over to Beca, before lowering onto her side of the bed. She stayed on the edge, legs crossing beneath her. “You don’t remember what you told me when we were dancing together?”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca pulled the bed sheet upward to cover her chest on instinct, never one to hang around in her undergarments if she could help it. She accepted the mug with a grateful tight-lipped grin, taking a careful sip. “No…” She eyed Chloe, panic steadily rising within her. She knew she’d been… weird about Chloe lately, and god, if she was that drunk… “Chlo, what did I tell you?” 

CHLOE BEALE

Sexuality may not have been a big deal to Chloe, but she figured Beca’s confession was something she should approach cautiously here. She paused to take a slow sip from her drink, both hands wrapped protectively around the mug. “Bec, you told me you don’t think you’re totally straight,” Chloe explained gently. “And I don’t think it was a drunk thing.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca’s mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish out of water, unable to fully process the confession her drunk brain had apparently made to her best friend before her sober brain fully comprehended it. “Oh. Okay. Um…” Licking her lips, Beca puffed out a few notes of a strained sort of chuckle, glancing down into her coffee mug as she fought to figure out what the hell she was supposed to say. 

CHLOE BEALE

Although she watched Beca carefully, Chloe was trying not to openly stare. She didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, at least no more so than she obviously already did. “Yeah,” she nodded, balancing the base of the mug lightly against her thigh. “You know it’s, like… fine, right?” She offered Beca a small smile. “You can feel that way and still have a boyfriend or whatever…” her volume dropped a little at the indirect mention of Jesse, mostly because there had been more to that conversation, and Chloe really wished Jesse was not a part of it.

BECA MITCHELL

“Yeah. Yeah, totally. I mean--it’s not a big deal, right?” She snapped her gaze back to Chloe’s, forcing a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. Confusion, worry, and a decent amount of fear swirled in those dark blue irises. Mostly because she didn’t remember confessing it and that was sort of something she’d liked to have planned out word for word before speaking to anyone. Even Chloe. (Especially Chloe?) Forcing a deep, shaky breath, she bit her lower lip for another beat before scrunching up her nose. “Sorry if I, like--made you feel weird or anything...”

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe knew Beca’s expressions. She knew when something excited her and she tried to bite it back, but Chloe could see it shining in her eyes. She knew when her smiles weren’t real smiles, too, just like the one Beca was sending toward her right now. Still, she responded with a small smile of her own, head shaking gently in response. “No. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, no.” She almost didn’t want to tell her the rest, but the thought of keeping it to herself felt even weirder than anything else, so Chloe sucked in a breath as she glanced down into her mug. “You didn’t make me feel weird. It actually makes me feel really good that you trusted me enough to tell me something like that.” She paused for a moment. “But you told me something about me, too.”

BECA MITCHELL

Relief flooded Beca’s system when Chloe assured her the confession was a good thing, even if Beca couldn’t remember how it had been phrased or the circumstances around it. (Besides being completely drunk off her ass, of course.) She took another sip of coffee, each one making her feel fractionally more human. But after Chloe’s pause, Beca’s brow crawled toward her hairline. She swallowed hard, anxiety bubbling in her gut once again. “What did I say?”

CHLOE BEALE

Other than before big Bellas performances back in college, nerves really weren’t a big thing for Chloe, she never really got nervous. She distinctly remembered the way her body tingled when they’d been dancing so closely last night, though, coupled with Beca’s confessions right by her ear, and how they’d made her feel kind of nervous. Sort of how she felt right now, in fact. Still, she was nothing if not open and honest, though she didn’t quite meet Beca’s eyes as she continued. “It was probably just a drunk thing,” she said with a small, halfhearted shrug, wanting to give Beca an out right away. “Um, so I gave you the lap dance and you got really weird after. Like… I don’t know what it did to you, but it did something. Then we were dancing after, and you told me that.” Her voice quietened again, this time to a bit of a mumble. “Then you told me that I make you feel things you’ve never felt before.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca wasn’t an idiot. Okay, scratch that. Beca absolutely an idiot. But she didn’t have to recall the exact memory to understand what a Chloe Beale lap dance would have likely done to her--especially after the hot flashes and subsequent inappropriate dreams she’d endured after witnessing Chloe’s pole dancing skills. 

That last bit hit her like a bucket of ice water dumped on her head. Her mouth dried up and her hands began trembling around her coffee mug, all of those terrifying Chloe-related feelings she’d been fighting to suppress for so damn long now creeping around her heart like tight vines. Squeezing, even as her blood pumped harder with rising panic. 

“God, that’s--fuck.” How much more awkward could she have been? For fuck’s sake. Her pale skin flushed pink and a wave of conflicting emotions crashed through her, eyes pricking with glistening tears she frantically tried blinking away. “I’m really sorry, Chlo. Jesus. I shouldn’t have…” Shaking her head, she set the coffee on her bedside table and scrambled to climb out of bed, that fight or flight kicking in hard as fuck right now.

CHLOE BEALE

Chloe understood the reaction. It wasn’t the one she’d expected; in reality, she’d expected Beca to fake a laugh and make some comment about how wasted she really must’ve been. It would’ve definitely hurt to hear, but Chloe had almost mentally prepared herself for it in the short amount of time she had to do so. She hadn’t expected the reaction she actually got, though, and Chloe’s widened gaze lifted as Beca began to scramble from the bed, head quickly shaking in protest. “No!” Chloe accidentally yelped, twisting to set her own mug down on the floor, before stretching across the mattress to gently grasp Beca’s wrist. “No, it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. I promise, it’s okay.” She released her wrist, not wanting to literally restrain her. “It’s not like it was…” she licked her lips, some of Beca’s obvious panic leaking into Chloe’s body, too. “Bec, it wasn’t a one-sided conversation.”

BECA MITCHELL

Literally anyone else in the world wouldn’t have been able to coax Beca to stay just then. Only Chloe had that ability, had put in the work over the years to disarm and break down layer after layer of Beca’s carefully crafted defenses. She forced a shaky breath, swallowing the massive lump in her throat. She refused to cry. She just… had to get her shit together. A big part of her still wanted to flee, but Chloe’s desperation rang in her tone.

Chloe’s last words hit hardest, rendering Beca speechless. She summoned all the courage she possessed (it wasn’t much, she knew that) to turn back and look at Chloe full on, silently asking--pleading, even--for Chloe to elaborate, even if it clearly terrified her to do so.

CHLOE BEALE

Sometimes it was a good thing, the fact that Chloe didn’t always think before she spoke. She kind of wished she’d thought over this a little better, though. Especially seeing that look in Beca’s glistening eyes, that panic she really hated being the cause of (even if it was by recalling Beca’s own words). She couldn’t take it back, though, and as her wide, sad eyes stared back at Beca, Chloe couldn’t help the helpless expression on her face. “It wasn’t one-sided, Beca,” she confirmed with as much confidence as she could muster, although it was surprisingly lacking for Chloe Beale. Maybe she’d just never had something so big riding on her shoulders before—even co-leading the Bellas paled significantly in comparison to this. “It’s not one-sided.”

BECA MITCHELL

Beca hadn’t realized she’d stopped breathing, but her hitching inhale sounded almost as if she’d been drowning and just crested for air. “Okay,” she croaked, shock and awe written all across her features as she was pretty damn sure she looked like that math meme for the past several seconds. “Wow. Okay. Um.” Licking her lips, her head jerked upward and bobbed in a near frantic nod. (Which hurt her still aching head, for the record.) “Good. Okay. I mean cool.” Now she said okay three times. Get it together, Beca. Exhaling shakily, she hitched her thumb toward the bathroom. “I’m, uh--still gonna shower.” 

CHLOE BEALE

Although she’d obviously remembered all of the big details very vividly, so much so that she could practically still hear Beca talking into her ear, telling her the things Chloe had recalled, there were still small additions that seemed to take a little bit longer to process—like how Chloe had said something about them kissing, and how Beca had said they couldn’t. Chloe’s heart had dropped when she’d heard it last night, and it dropped again as it entered her mind now. In fact, this happened a lot lately… It would usually happen when Beca’s relationship would come up, but Chloe always pushed it aside, because it was just her being stupid, just something she couldn’t fully explain or understand.

She seemed to understand it now, though, and it was the kind of terrifying thought that caused a lump to form in her throat.

“It’s not…” she swallowed, suddenly kind of angry at herself. And maybe a little bit at Beca too, but she wasn’t going to say so. “It’s not okay, Bec. And it’s not cool.” She slumped back slightly, blinking away the salty liquid from her eyes. “You have a boyfriend. It’s not cool that we said that last night, and it’s not cool that I just said it again now.” Regardless, it also dawned on her that she was not taking it back.

BECA MITCHELL

Guilt wrenched hard in Beca’s chest and she clenched her jaw. “Don’t you think I know that? I’ve been feeling like absolute shit ever since he moved here because I know… I know I need to end it. But breaking off a five year relationship is not that easy, Chloe. He just freakin’ moved across the country to be with me and I’m gonna be the asshole who shatters his heart.” She couldn’t hold back the tears now. They spilled over, thickly streaming down her cheeks as she wiped one away angrily. “And if that’s not enough to turn my world upside down, I had to go and catch stupid feelings for my best friend in the world.” 

Beca hated change. She was so, so bad at life transitions, and this whole thing just… it was enough to almost put her over the edge. “So yeah, I’m sorry I said anything. I know I shouldn’t have and I know that makes me seem like a bigger piece of shit. So I’m just gonna…” She needed space. She needed it now before she said anything else that might upset Chloe or trigger her own breakdown. So she puffed out a hard breath and made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her before turning on the hot shower. Even though she knew all the water in the world wouldn’t wash away all the built up guilt. 

CHLOE BEALE

Recalling the previous night had been a lot, especially amidst a particularly painful hangover and the severity of what exactly they were recalling, but as Beca shot back, Chloe’s mind flew to more of their conversations. Like when they were at the park, when Beca had cried because Jesse was here, and Chloe hadn’t really understood it, but she’d known that it had broken her heart, too. Her mind rewound to the night their heating had broken, to the way Beca could’ve gone to stay with Jesse, something Chloe had literally pointed out, but Beca had chosen to stay with her instead. Everything just seemed to make sense, things that hadn’t made sense before, and Chloe normally had a lot to say, but she found herself speechless now, simply watching Beca with widened eyes and tears threatening to spill over her lids.

It was so unlike Chloe not to do anything, not to say anything. It was like she was stuck in some kind of trance, Beca’s words looping over and over in her brain:

And if that’s not enough to turn my world upside down, I had to go and catch stupid feelings for my best friend in the world.

Chloe only blinked, finally pulling herself from her wordless daze when the bathroom door opened, and somehow springing into action once it’d quickly closed. She sucked in a shaky breath as she headed for the bathroom, tugging open the door with every intention to tell Beca that that wasn’t fair, that she couldn’t say all of that and then just walk away. “Bec, you can’t—” she started, though her words held much less bite than she’d intended, and Chloe found herself trailing off until she was stepping, still dressed in her underwear and Beca’s hoodie, into the running shower to grasp onto Beca’s wrist again. This time, rather than letting go, she gently tugged her closer, pleading eyes scanning over her face, before pulling her into a tight, protective hug. One that Chloe actually kind of needed, too.

BECA MITCHELL

Beca wasn't exactly surprised when Chloe barged in after her. She had a track record of shower invasion, after all. And maybe… just maybe there was a reason Beca didn't lock the door behind her. There was a reason why "Dude, get out!" lodged in her throat, held back.

So when Chloe stepped inside, Beca didn't fight her. Instead, her fingers curled around the fabric of her hoodie and she sunk into Chloe's right embrace, her body wracking with sobs as she finally allowed herself to fall apart.

Time stretched and dragged while Beca regained control, the water soothing from above in its constant pressure. Eventually, she pulled up enough to seek Chloe's eyes--her own now red and puffy. "We're gonna be okay, right?" Beca croaked, desperation in her tone. "Whatever happens. I need us to be okay."

CHLOE BEALE 

It wasn’t like this was the first time Chloe had ever invited herself into Beca’s shower, and Beca could’ve easily locked the door if she’d really wanted to keep her out, so Chloe had a feeling, deep down, that Beca wasn’t going to push her away. Even so, she froze up for half a second as her arms looped around Beca’s small frame, though she relaxed as she felt Beca falling into her embrace. Her heart broke all over again as she registered her sobbing, tears rolling down Chloe’s cheeks too, but she was more concerned about Beca than herself. “It’s okay,” she whispered in a teary voice, face tilting to push a soft kiss to Beca’s wet shoulder, “I promise it’s okay.”

When Beca eventually pulled just slightly back, Chloe loosened her arms, though they stayed looped around Beca, still holding onto her as her gaze fell to meet her favorite blue. Her brows tugged together while she scanned her face, head nodding gently. “Of course we’re gonna be okay,” Chloe promised, tips of her fingers brushing soothingly along the damp skin of Beca’s upper back. “We’re always going to be okay, Bec.” She thought back to Beca’s outburst, to all of the crap she had going on—them, Jesse, everything—and Chloe adamantly wanted her to know that she was not alone. “We’re going to figure this out, okay? All of it.” 

BECA MITCHELL

Beca clung to Chloe as though she were her single buoy in the vast ocean during a raging storm, her soothing words the calming balm she needed to desperately hear. "Okay," she rasped, sniffling. "That's good to know. Thanks, Chlo." 

One step, one crisis at a time. She could do this--especially with Chloe's support.