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this is the most important picture iâve ever taken
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me baking: haha fuck yeah!!! yes!!!
me cleaning up: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck
once in the fifth grade this kid called me a homo and i thought it meant homeless and i was so confused i said âjeremy youâve been to my houseâÂ
YA books: There are 2 boys, the protagonist girl HAS to date one, but how can she choose? They are so incredibly different in every way!
The boys:

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#mr city was my father please call me owl
Here it is folks:
My definitive ranking of my least favorite bodies of water! These are ranked from least to most scary (1/10 is okay, 10/10 gives me nightmares). Iâm sorry this post is long, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this.
The Great Blue Hole, Belize
Iâve been here! I have snorkeled over this thing! It is terrifying! The water around the hole is so shallow you canât even swim over the coral without bumping it, and then thereâs a little slope down, and then it just fucking drops off into the abyss! When youâre over the hole the water temperature drops like 10 degrees and itâs midnight blue even when youâre right by the surface. Anyway. The Great Blue Hole is a massive underwater cave, and its roughly 410 feet deep. Overall, itâs a relatively safe area to swim. Itâs a popular tourist attraction and recreational divers can even go down and explore some of the caves. People do die at the Blue Hole, but it is generally from a lack of diving experience rather than anything sinister going on down in the depths. My rating for this one is 1/10 because Iâve been here and although itâs kinda freaky itâs really not that bad.
Lake Baikal, Russia
When I want to give myself a scare I look at the depth diagram of this lake. Itâs so deep because itâs not a regular lake, itâs a Rift Valley, A massive crack in the earthâs crust where the continental plates are pulling apart. Itâs over 5,000 feet deep and contains one-fifth of all freshwater on Earth. Luckily, its not any more deadly than a normal lake. It just happens to be very, very, freakishly deep. My rating for this lake is a 2/10 because I really hate looking at the depth charts but just looking at the lake itself isnât that scary.
Jacobâs Well, Texas
This âwellâ is actually the opening to an underwater cave system. Itâs roughly 120 feet deep, surrounded by very shallow water. This area is safe to swim in, but diving into the well can be deadly. The cave system below has false exits and narrow passages, resulting in multiple divers getting trapped and dying. My rating is a 3/10, because although I hate seeing that drop into the abyss itâs a pretty safe place to swim as long as you donât go down into the cave (which I sure as shit wonât).
The Devilâs Kettle, Minnesota
This is an area in the Brule River where half the river just disappears. It literally falls into a hole and is never seen again. Scientists have dropped in dye, ping pong balls, and other things to try and figure out where it goes, and the things they drop in never resurface. Rating is 4/10 because Sometimes I worry Iâm going to fall into it.
Flathead Lake, Montana
Everyone has probably seen this picture accompanied by a description about how this lake is actually hundreds of feet deep but just looks shallow because the water is so clear. If that were the case, this would definitely rank higher, but that claim is mostly bull. Look at the shadow of the raft. If it were hundreds of feet deep, the shadow would look like a tiny speck. Flathead lake does get very deep, but the spot the picture was taken in is fairly shallow. You canât see the bottom in the deep parts. However, having freakishly clear water means you can see exactly where the sandy bottom drops off into blackness, so this still ranks a 5/10.
The Lower Congo River, multiple countries
Most of the Congo is a pretty normal, if large, River. In the lower section of it, however, lurks a disturbing surprise: massive underwater canyons that plunge down to 720 feet. The fish that live down there resemble cave fish, having no color, no eyes, and special sensory organs to find their way in the dark. These canyons are so sheer that they create massive rapids, wild currents and vortexes that can very easily kill you if you fall in. A solid 6/10, would not go there.
Little Crater Lake, Oregon
On first glance this lake doesnât look too scary. It ranks this high because I really donât like the sheer drop off and how clear it is (because it shows you exactly how deep it goes). This lake is about 100 feet across and 45 feet deep, and I strongly feel that this is too deep for such a small lake. Also, the water is freezing, and if you fall into the lake your muscles will seize up and youâll sink and drown. I donât like that either. 7/10.
Grand Turk 7,000 ft drop off
No. 8/10. I hate it.
Gulf of Corryvreckan, Scotland
Due to a quirk in the sea floor, there is a permanent whirlpool here. This isnât one of those things that looks scary but actually wonât hurt you, either. It absolutely will suck you down if you get too close. Scientists threw a mannequin with a depth gauge into it and when it was recovered the gauge showed it went down to over 600 feet. If you fall into this whirlpool you will die. 9/10 because this seems like something that should only be in movies.
The Bolton Strid, England
This looks like an adorable little creek in the English countryside but itâs not. Its really not. Statistically speaking, this is the most deadly body of water in the world. It has a 100% mortality rate. There is no recorded case of anyone falling into this river and coming out alive. This is because, a little ways upstream, this isnât a cute little creek. Itâs the River Wharfe, a river approximately 30 feet wide. This river is forced through a tiny crack in the earth, essentially turning it on its side. Now, instead of being 30 feet wide and 6 feet deep, itâs 6 feet wide and 30 feet deep (estimated, because no one actually knows how deep the Strid is). The currents are deadly fast. The banks are extremely undercut and the river has created caves, tunnels and holes for things (like bodies) to get trapped in. The innocent appearance of the Strid makes this place a death trap, because people assume itâs only knee-deep and step in to never be seen again. I hate this river. I have nightmares about it. I will never go to England just because I donât want to be in the same country as this people-swallowing stream. 10/10, I live in constant fear of this place.
Honorable mention: The Quarry, Pennsylvania
I donât know if thatâs itâs actual name. This lake gets an honorable mention not because itâs particularly deep or dangerous, but itâs where I almost drowned during a scuba diving accident.
1. this is a fabulous post and i'm gonna nab one of these sites as inspiration for my sedimentary geology final essay
2. the devil's kettle actually has a plausible explanation! hydrologists have found that the water volume above and below the falls is about the same, so the half that seems to disappear actually rejoins the stream almost immediately.
the reason that items tossed in the kettle don't reappear is that the kettle itself is full of massively destructive recirculating currents, so the objects are smashed to bits by the time they emerge downstream. which is still frightening for sure!!
citation because tumblr hates links: Dan Kraker, mprnews dot org, "Solved: the mystery of Devil's Kettle Falls," February 2017
Is anyone else ever genuinely shocked when you find out you have an impact on someoneâs life? A coworker can be like âIâve missed seeing youâ and Iâm just like â???? you?? missed me????? My presence has an effect on your daily experience???? I affect things??? W h a t ? ? ?â

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microdosing on raw cookie dough til im immune to salmonella
wait i think i just invented vaccinations