Truly, I will be the girl of all slime

okay cool so i guess im just not using tumblr anymore then

brown sugar is being canceled for not being in my pantry and yet is in every cookie recipe on earth

What did a girl do to feel this shit...

Something uniquely special about pissing for a solid 20 seconds straight. Truly there is beauty still left in this world

Call my girl weed the way she zonk my gourd

If you celebrate christmas, remember to give me all your money. This is a robbery, give me your money. Every cent, hurry up. I have a gun

Making out with a girl and she bites my tongue while she bites my lip and sucks my tits and sucks my dick because she is covered in a thousand mouths due to the curse of the genie

"Killing the clownsona" is not something I ever expected to say but here we are

What? Of course I'm okay! Could a girl who isn't okay do this? *cries extremely heavily for 40+ straight minutes with zero room for breathing*

Doing some 100 million particle moose dropped on a right-angled wedge shit to her penis

Give me an instrument I can play with only my fingers and I'll figure out which notes are the ones to megalovania

"I wouldn't wish bad things even on my worst enemy" okay but what if your worst enemy is like. The economy

I wouldn't mind having facial hair if every other part of me had fur, but because I am in fact a human (unfortunate) into the shredder it goes