❛ history of japan ❜ starter meme
So I saw this video for the first time and I’m trash so take this and enjoy it. (Or not. That’s cool). Feel free to change/add/whatever anything to make it fit. Blanks mean “insert your word here” I guess.
‘ Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s B E A U T I F U L. ’
‘ It’s b e a u t i f u l. ’
‘In the year negative a billion ______ might not have been here. ’
‘ And now there’s lots of trees. Because it’s warmer. ’
‘ They’re basically hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees. ’
‘ Ding dong, it’s the outside world. ’
‘ They have technology from the future. Like really good metal. And crazy rice farms. ’
‘ That means that if you own the farm, you own the food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you King. ’
‘ A heavenly super person, or Emperor for short. ’
‘ Knock, knock. Get the door. It’s religion. ’
‘ Please try this religion. ’
‘ Then the government was taken over by another clique. ’
‘ Can you call us something else, other than dipshit? ’
‘ How about ‘Sunrise Land’? ’
‘ They conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. ’
‘ They really didn’t give a shit about running a country. ’
‘ How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ’
‘ Everyone started hiring a samurai. ’
‘ Correction: rich people hired a samurai. ’
‘ They let the Emperor still be “Emperor”. ’
‘ Breaking news: The Mongols have invaded _____. ’
‘ We’ve invaded _____. Please respect us, or else we might invade you as well. ’
‘ So the ______ came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. ’
‘ And the Emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants. That’s fine. ’
‘ It’s time for Who’s Going to be the Next Shogun? ’
‘ So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk. ’
‘ Everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. ’
‘ Knock knock, it’s Europe. ’
‘ No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. ’
‘ Like clocks, and guns, and Jesus. ’
‘ Now I’m going to invade Korea and then hopefully China, he said. And failed. And also died. ’
‘ A lot of people support him. But a lot of people support not supporting him. ’
‘ No one can leave and no one can come in. Except the _____. ’
‘ Knock knock. It’s the United States. ’
‘ Somehow made the Emperor the Emperor again. ’
‘ And you know what else is western? That’s right, conquering stuff. ’
‘ Stop, no, you can’t take that. We were going to build a railroad through here to try and get some warm water. ’
‘ ___ make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. ’
‘ im interested in taking over the world, and i was wondering if you could be my friend. ’
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