Urban Girdle

I’m so glad I’m a sentimental freak who occasionally gets too into her cups and records random shit on her phone only to discover it when she needs it the most. @supercomik @brianjnash #sailawaywithme #thatbeautifulvoice #PoppiStrong 💔😢❌⭕️ (at The Duplex Cabaret and Piano Bar)

If starting over AGAIN had a face this would be it! #gym #oddat #toofattolive #moveitorloseit #sweatingtodeath #wakemewhenimthin #slappytheremix #nothingtolose (at Blink Fitness)

Trying to figure out how to get this slice of heaven in my carry on bag. *if not the garden then maybe just Dudley. Yes I named the cow. #airbnbbliss #californiadreaming #poolside #hottub #poolparty #twinklelights (at Los Angeles, California)

BREAKING NEWS: Hobbit’s right foot viciously attacked last night by midtown balcony furniture. Sore & swollen but the hobbit managed to have second breakfast. Updates as they become available. 🤪 #oooops #ouchy #booboo #hobbitfeet #LOTR #frodoOhno #hobbit (at New York, New York)

@laura_loves_kiki Lets play find your wife....😳😳😳 ❤️hahaha! #sorority #sororitysisters #whosthatgirl #closetcase #bighairdontcare #greeklife #composite #drap #sisterhood #undercoverbabydyke

Someone had a blast at work tonight!! @brandicarlile thank you so much for two nights of astounding music! We love y’all, see you in TN!! #bramily (at The Beacon Theatre)

She’s a delight and the boys are adorable. Such fun, can’t wait for tonight. @brandicarlile #meetingrockstars #squeeeee (at The Beacon Theatre)

@laura_loves_kiki shots are so much better than mine (1st is hers), but that’s what you get when you marry a professional photographer lol. I was thrilled she sang my favorite song off the new album, I Am Here, dead center and right into my soul. The great work begins. @pink #bestconcert #inspireyourself #bethechange #urbeautiful (at Madison Square Garden New York)

Bon Nuit mon Parée. #paris #goodnight #moon #french (at Café Noir)

L’amour!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ . . . #paris #love #firstdate #kiss #frenchkiss #lamour #mwah

Found a crazy French Chalet restaurant the other night. Of course we had the Drag Queen fondue. 😜 #skiing #bears #fondue #chalet #skilodge (at Il Cottage)

Sometimes when you’re 17 your bones need a good soak. 🛀 #sweetangel #dogsofinstagram #bathtime #spaday #dogs

I know this is Alison Bechdel on @thesimpsons but I’m a pretend it’s me circa 2014. #skinnybrandy #simpsons #cartoon #bechdelwin #dykestowatchoutfor

I DON’T THINK I CAN!! But I’m gonna try!!! #astounding #impossible #jawdropping #magic #jelly #keepthesecrets (at Lyric Theatre)

Where’s that itch mommy I got you? 😉 #scrubdaddy #daddy #itch #scratch #clean #dirty

This is how you nanny. #troublemakers #nannylife #borntobewild #slappyandwiggle #tgif ❤️

Subway Selfie Champ! 🥊 #boxing #champ #knockout #onetwopunch #tko #subway #mta #nyc #nycphotographer