Everyone says "you must be a leader"
From the time I was a small child, everyone- teachers, parents (not even necessarily my own), religious figures, scouts, sports, anything and everything in my life said âyou have to be a leaderâ, âlearn to leadâ, âdevelop leadership qualitiesâ.
However, much like the problem Loki and Thor ran into, I realized, that if everyone was a leader⌠who were they leading?
In the past couple of years, I have realized two things:
1) This mindset has led us to a dangerous place. Obviously, not everyone can lead a team, or a business, or anything really. Even if you specialize in something and become indispensably invaluable, you are still not guaranteed leadership. Nor are you necessarily suited for it.
In order to fill this, people have done one of two things: a) given up any hope, accepted their participation awards, and resigned themselves to dead last. Or b) decided that they were going to create a leadership position at any cost. See the leaders of discourse movements or hopeless battles that lead nowhere- or worse, detract from actually vital issues.
In telling our children that they must lead, we have eliminated the idea that followers and support are just as important to a group. You canât lead well without help, and you canât lead at all without people who will follow.
2) I am not a leader. Let me clarify: I can lead; (and I do think that that should be something that we are taught- the âhowâ of leading) but I wouldnât be ideal.
Iâm not comfortable having other peopleâs lives in my hands. Even for something as simple as determining whose schedules I do and do not work around for the sake of the group.
But you know what I am? A kick ass second-in-command. I will gladly enforce a good rule, and I can research and advise someone else on any decision theyâll make, if I need. I can and will play the bad cop and the good cop and the mother or father if asked, and I can execute orders with creativity and efficiency.
And I am okay with that.
Itâs okay to play a supporting character. Leaders donât get far without someone to help nitpick their plans, or even just someone to keep them on the straight-and-narrow (or crooked-and-wide, if thatâs what you want). Itâs okay if you arenât a leader.
Yes, itâs important that you know how, because honestly, there will come a point in most peopleâs lives where they will need to lead, even if itâs just leading a discussion.
Iâm not saying donât live up to your potential. Please do! If someone tells you that you would be a great leader- take their words under advisement! Fulfill that potential and push yourself to try. Strive to be the best you that you are capable of being.
But if you arenât a leader in everything you do? Youâre not a failure. You are you. Be a kick-ass support, or a moral cheerleader, or even just the home for someone to come back to. You are still vital and valued. Donât let anyone tell you otherwise.